Boob addict and startler - what to do? Please??

[PacificDogwood]

DS is 12 weeks old today, fed on demand EBF so far.
He is totally unable to self-soothe with which I do not have much of a problem; I don't mind feeding to sleep.

However: he is also unable to stay asleep unless he has boob in his mouth. Quite often there is no sucking, no suction, nipple might just fall out of his mouth, yet 3 to 5 to 8 minutes later he will startle violently (inspite of being swaddled), start rooting, will not tolerate any substitute for breast (refuses a variety of dummies, own hand/finger/thumb, tip of my little finger). If I stick my breast back in or he finds nipple again as I am still lying next to him scared to move a muscle lest I wake him , he will go back to sleep within literally seconds. And the cycle repeats... Up until now the nights had not been bad overall however last night was just awful.

He will not sleep in the pram (was walking for 2 hours with him today), hates the car, will only occasionally settle if his dad carries him around the garden and then sleep for 10-15 min. He is totally and utterly unputdownable and is miserable as overtired most of the day, every day. He always seems 'wired', hyperalert, not relaxed. I have an appointment with paeds in 3 weeks time to have him checked out. He is slow in gaining weight although is gaining every week.

Somebody out there please say they've got the Magic Bullett for this!

I know IABU for expecting an easy answer, but GAH! I have 3 other kids and This Just Cannot Go On.
He is currently in his (pretty much unused) Amby screaming his head off after I tried to get him into a deep sleep for the last 2 hours...

As a then child-free friend of mine once said (she has since learned better, ha!): 'If babies/children are grumpy when they are tired, why do they not shut the f**k up and GO TO SLEEP?!'

She now has 2 little boys and does not ask this anymore...

But I would still like to know the answer.
Tis horrible to watch them like that isn't it, apart from the fact that it is not much fun for us either.

this whole daytime nap thing is driving me nuts TBH. A couple of weeks back DD was happily going down for a good 1-1.5 hrs in the morning and maybe an hr in the afternoon...now she will barely do more than 20 mins, with the odd 40 min nap occasionally (like this morning). I don't know what happened She has been sleeping pretty much 9pm-4.30am since she was 8 weeks old, and that's not changed - thankfully so don't get me wrong, thinkgs could be a lot worse if she weren't sleeping at night.

She will nap in the pram but i have to either push it back and forth in the kitchen for ages or walk and walk and walk. If i am out and she is asleep in the pram, if i so much as walk in a shop or back indoors, she's crying again within minutes which means that i don't get any shopping done or anything done for that matter.

Everyone seems to say it all changes once they get to 3 months, and that things really improve...i really hope that's true.

Aaargh, curly, I just responded to your previous posts here on the Slumber party thread sorry! Just to say I have just ordered a white noise machine, so thanks for info.

Yeah, 3 months, roll on and change my baby - for the better, natch ! He has only got 6 days to go though...

Just took me 1 hour to persuade him to have a nap. In his Amby.
I know what you mean about wheels having to be in motion.

Oh no, there he goes again, toodles!

Really three months?? But they said that about 6 weeks and 8 weeks and They Lied. Holding out then for 8 days time and the delivery of a sleeping baby...

Yeah I'm holding out for the 3 months now too, having realising they all lied about 6 and 8 weeks. DD didn't sleep AT ALL today apart from just now (around 5pm) and that was in the car....ye gods....

Won't tolerate the pram now (screamed in it today and wheeled her for 2 hours in it the other day and she stayed awake).

Like curly my DD goes from around 9 - 4 (recently 7 or 8 to 2) so can't complain about the nights.

Tried white noise on the radio and doesn't work for me. Think I'll have to stick with the sling for daytime but it is tiring. And now she stays awake for a long while in that. Arghhh!!

Too hot for sling

Had walk with screaming babe as well

Did NOT sleep in the car

No daytime nap today at all (10min on the boob here and there does NOT count!)

I am currently living life along the principles of the AA (not the car people ): 1 day at a time, 1 day at a time...

Roll on the night

Good luck to you all

Well, it seems I have successfully trained him to be dummy addict rather than boob fiend which at this point is just fine by me .
He will accept it when really sleepy at the boob and can then (sometimes) be successfully transferred into his Amby.

So, I am not running away for the time being ...