how often do you physically check little ones when asleep?

[issysmilkbottle]

dd is 5 months, she goes to sleep around 8 and we have a baby monitor... Dh thinks i should also physically check on her every 20 -30 mins also, if i don't go up within 30 mins he gets arsey... How often does anyone else check on the little ones between them going to sleep and you going to sleep?

i dont check them.i have the monitor on so will hear if they wake and need me.

with my first I checked once an hour. with my second (8 years later), if he's not appeared by 7.30am I go looking for him.

If you have a monitor tho, is it strictly necessary to keep checking?

I'm wondering why your dh doesn't go and check on your dd himself if he thinks it's important?

My children are older and I look in on them when I go to bed. When they were babies I don't think I checked on them at all - too scared of waking them up!

ooh yes, good point owlsa. Is there a reason why he can't check?

thanks lifesucks, thats what i tend to think but dh is a pain and if he checks he wakes her up! Shes ebf so i do all the wakings and dont want extra ones! How do i stop this nonscense?

With the monitor on I don't check other than when I go to bed. But that is with DS. When we had DD (pfb) I checked at least twice in the night until she was around 18mths old. I'm over that now.

If he is that bothered he can check the baby can't he.

Never! What exactly does your DH expect to have happened to her in 20 minutes, that you wouldn't hear on a monitor!

Clearly the answer is that you check on them as much as your nerves require you to. Therefore if your DH thinks baby needs checking, he gets up off his arse and checks!

I use a monitor and don't usually check on DS as I don't want to disturb him. I can tell whether he's sleeping or has woken from the monitor perfectly well.
Yes, get your DH to go and check...

Unless he's ill, once on my way to bed.

At 5 months he was waking every 45 mins through the night, so I didn't do any extra checks.

i must admit when dh not here, at work, i check once an hour if that.... dd is in our room so i look before i climb into bed. She moves alot and her fave sleeping position is now on her side, dh worries about that but he cant do anything to stop her...

I prefer dh not to check as he is noisy and thinks he has to check her by touching her head. When she wakes its down to me to settle her... He thinks playing and talking to her at night isnt a problem, if quiet i can get her down in 5mins, otherwise it can be an hour+....

If your DH wants to check, he should check her.

If he wakes her, it's up to him to settle her again.

Perhaps he might then learn that you never wake a sleeping baby.

Wow, he sounds like a pain in the ass!

Once. At my bedtime. Unless they are ill.

never - unless they're ill. Then I'll pop my head round when I go to sleep.

Did you post this before a few months back as it is ringing a bell with me?

Sorry, only reason I ask is that if you did and this is still going on then perhaps your dh really needs to deal with his anxiety and needs to realise that this is excessive concern and is actually having a negative impact on you.
If I am wide of the mark here then, apologies.

Yes, I seem to remember a similar thread as well.

When they were tiny, I didn't really have to do it very often, as they woke up every 2 hours or so.

Now, with ds 8y and dd 14 m I check on them before going to bed.

erm never - the point of the evening IMO is that you totally forget you have a baby for a couple of hours.

hi, yes i did post beforw.... i have managed to stretch the checking out from every ten mins but dh makes me feel i'm the odd one for not checking and i needed a sanity check before i push this again.... Thank you!

Sorry just realised I didn't answer your question - no baby monitor but ds's bedroom across the hall (7 1/2) months and check maybe twice between 7pm and midnight but only on the way past to go to the toilet!

I stick my head round the door if i go to the loo, but otherwise my 6.5mo is fine on his own, on his side, wherever really! He's still in with us too, only wakes me if he's rolled onto his front and can't get back. Can do it usually, but not in a sleeping bag .

You need to tell your dh that they will tell you if there's a problem. Pretty much like they do all day!