You know you're sleep-deprived when...

[SnotBaby]

You are struggling to make small talk with someone and suddenly blurt out "You'll have to forgive me, my words have stopped working."

You stare at a counter top with a teapot and kettle on it for up to a minute, trying to remember what these things do and in what order you are supposed to use them.

You walk through the house picking up things that need your attention, then find yourself in the kitchen holding a sock, a free newspaper, a hair bobble, a phone charger and a jar of Sudocrem, then sit at the kitchen table for a bit because you can't work out why you are holding them and what they might do when you put them all together.

21 hours sleep since Monday, how about you?

Oh God, sounds grim. I can sympathise.

I knew I was sleep deprived when I sincerely told someone that I actually had a good night last night, dd only woke FOUR times.

I burst into tears a lot when over tired.

Ha ha HC that's me ATM - anything less than 4 night wakings is a "good night". I have gone past the weepy stage and am now at the "I am still breathing so it must be okay" stage! Retained my sense of humour though as I am promised a lie-in tomorrow.

Just thought of another one - hunting out and using the free bath thermometer from the Bounty pack because you can't rely on your own hand to tell you the temperature of the water any more!

Have you tried cranial osteopathy? How old is your baby? Do you co-sleep? CO worked really well for my dd at ten months, I wish I had taken her sooner.

My problem now is that both dc are waking at different times in the night, two or three times each. I am knackered and have that dread of going to bed as I know I will finally fall asleep only to be woken and it will be foul and cold and moan moan moan....

Wow, tell me about it. Only 4 night wakings would be living the dream for me! Ds is 7 months and showing no signs of reducing his ravenous feeding all night long!

My sure sign of severe sleep deprivation is when I'm convinced that the picture of a fish on DS's changing mat is winking at me

HumphreyCobbler- 2 dc waking?? Oh no! That sounds horrendous

I find myself going into slow motion, including talking very slowly cos I forget what I'm saying half way through.. and I stare into space alot. A bad night last night - 4 hours sleep in total.

My sentences start well but after bit drop off end .

My 6 year old is quite a reliable sleeper by now but very athletic and energetic by day, and 6 month old has just started weaning and seems to be wanting all night feedathons.

This too will pass... With my first I used to get very flouncey and do lots of "Oh my God I can't believe it I am so tiiiiirrrrrred." A thread on here about what you wanted to do differently with your second included a comment from someone who said she was going to be "less melodramatic" about sleep, and it's really stuck with me. Laughing at the situation helps a lot.

Cranial osteopath might be worth a shit if the weaning doesn't settle, thanks for the tip HC. We do co-sleep, but he is big lad with a hell of a kick on him!

I know what you mean about the slow motion talking MTAG!

A SHOT

very funny typo! I think you're supposed to pay them in money snotbaby !

snotbaby - your OP has just made me cry with laughter.. think poss evidence of sleep deprivation in itself I just read it out to dh whilst wiping away the tears and he just looked at me blankly
hmm guess who was up with the teething baby every hour of last night..
and yes, i am also attempting to be less melodramatic this time around. Ds was sleeper from hell til he was about 2 so i figure if his sister follows suit (please God NO!) there is only another 18 months to go..

LOL Blinder at confused blinking.

I say "Right then. Right then" a lot, to make it sound like I am getting on with things efficiently, when in truth I have completely forgotten what I was doing.

Glad you liked it, Fairylights! How is the less melodramatic option working out for you, then? Personally I think I must come across as a bit giddy, but it's slightly preferable to the evil monster I turned into last time.

Also, ParanoidAAT, I am so relieved that you mentioned winking bathmats. For me, I know I need to have some sort of rest when I start asking DH if he has noticed the fruit flies in here...

I keep pouring milk in my juice glass or juice in my bowl, I let go of one side of my porridge bowl and didn't realise it tipped, pouring porridge across the floor .
Only on DS so I have the luxury of napping as much as he does during the day.

Oh scaredy, that's funny, and familar!

Went for coffee with my SIL on Friday (yesterday?!) and fed DS some sweet potato. Stirred my cappucino for ages with a yellow plastic spoon loaded with mash and posset. I just said "Oh" weakly in its general direction and she merely nodded and raised her eyebrows as though that said it all (she has 1yr and 3yr old).

Still drank it of course, would not have been able to walk home without the caffeine, lumps or no lumps!

oh i still have my noisily melodramatic moments snotbaby - especially at 3am which the neighbours must love
but was brought up short this week - on thurs night our ds (who is now 3) was also up a lot in the night and i was spectacularly (and melodramatically)unsympathetic when he complained of tummy ache and ear ache.. then the next morning he was sent home from preschool looking poorly and turns out he has an ear infection and is on antibiotics, poor love . I felt like a very evil mummy.. but tried to make up for it with smarties

Ah that's not evil, fairylights! Ear infections are notoriously difficult to spot, although a tummy ache can strangely be a symptom (something to do with lymph nodes I've been told...)

Hope he feels better soon!

Oh...I can never finish a conversation. Even the slightest distraction and I completely forget what I'm on about, who I'm talking too. Drives dh to distraction!

Haven't had more than three hours unbroken sleep since dd2 was born 10 months ago. I now operate solely on automatic pilot.

You know you're sleep deprived when all you want to eat is something sugary with coffee.
ALL DAY.
And then another one.

True, Nonnomum. I must try to break my custard cream habit. They are cheap though, so I like to kid myself that I am helping the pursestrings by having a fistful of them instead of some fruit...

Esme- same here. Hilarious when with other sleep deprived people who do the same! You keep going 'what were we talking about?' and 'you know that thing we started talking about earlier?'

I go to a children's centre drop in on a Friday and there are a bunch of us with new babies and older children (ie no chance to nap in the day!) and we sit there having the most hilerious conversations that just don't go anywhere because we can't remember what we were talking about and we sit there setting each other off yawning. They play soft classical music there too and it makes us all feel really sleepy.

BeckyBendyLegs, it sounds like they should provide beanbags and gym mats to give you all some "quiet time!"

My local baby group is rather dominated by one woman who rails loudly and incoherently about her baby's (lack of) sleep patterns in great detail - "She had a feed at seven, then woke at SEVEN THIRTY and what do you know, she was up for forty seven minutes and I did shush pat for forty of those and then at twenty past eight I was just tiptoeing out when would you believe it but she was crying again, well that went on until ten to nine and then...", while other mums weakly interject with "Yes, I know" or "Me too..." If any of us could summon the energy we would tell her that yes, we are all knackered and you are not helping.

Thing is we all know how she feels, so it would be mean to criticise. I am also quietly impressed that she can find the energy to be so furious about it. Also her ability to remember dates and times is quite amazing.

when you get to Morrisons and :
A)you cant remember how you got there
B) You realise that you still have your big pink fluffy slippers on

when your friend with the same age baby texts you at 2am saying "you awake?" and you reply every night.

average wakings per night 10-20. hv gave up on us.

Actually feeling sick and dizzy with exhaustion, holding onto the side in the kitchen for fear of falling over.

putting my purse in the fridge, and a pint of milk on the side.

crying no stomach wrenching sobbing while making my bed longinf to crawl into it and not get out of it for a week.

I feel the same sunburn - well, about the HV bits. In fact, last time I went to baby weigh-in they asked how everything was, and I replied that he still wasn't sleeping, but please don't give me any more advice.
Only thing keeping me going is that it won't last forever (it just seems like it when you're in the middle of it)...

Oh yy, four wakings would be an ok night here too.Bad night includes 2 awake for an hour spells, he's nearly 14mo and I am quite sick of it frankly.

DD was awful too, when she was newborn I remember falling asleep on the settee, upright, for a few mins. When I woke up/came round I realised I still had food in my mouth and fallen asleep before I could swallow it.