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help - 4mo now sleeping worse than newborn

76 replies

camflower · 04/01/2010 11:02

aaarrgh, just typed a great long rant and was about to hit post when i lost it!!!!!

i'll start again and try and be concise.

ds is now about 19 weeks (so tired i've lost count!).
he has never really napped during the day unless he is out in his buggy - he just doesn't do being put down in his cot and left to drift peacefully off - oh no.

he was breastfed apart from a bedtime bottle of formula (he was v slow to gain weight so advised to do this at about 7 weeks). always v happy with it, no problems.

he had third lot of jabs a couple of weeks ago and they made him utterly miserable. he had the bottle that night (and his first calpol) but the next night he refused his bottle point blank and has done ever since. (have tried different teats, expressed b milk etc etc).

he is also learning to roll and does a lot of frustrated yelling cos he wants so desperately to be crawling (he is a hugely active baby).

he slept 8 hours in a row once, about 3 weeks ago but that was a one-off - he would normally have between three and a half and six in the first part of the night, then more on and off and we would co-sleep from the early morning.

now his sleep seems to get worse every day - he doesn't seem to be able to go longer than an hour and three-quarters without waking up and wanting a feed - i feel like i am up and down all night and usually give in and get him into our bed half way through the night so i can get some sleep. i guess this is a growth spurt but it seems to be going on and on and i'm dreading the nights now cos i am getting so little sleep - and i can't go straignt back to sleep like i used to cos i am lying there worrying about how long he will last until he wakes up again.

pls tell me this is not going to go on for ever!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
bratnav · 14/01/2010 20:10

Just posted this on the other thread, might help?

I called my friend who is a bf counsellor yesterday. She suggested that if lo is distracted, switch them to the other breast and they should feed better, maybe switching them back if needed. This should help them get enough food during the day.

Tried it and DS slept 11-6 last night

CoonRapids · 14/01/2010 20:12

DS 21 weeks here is a nightmare as well. SNack feeds during the day and short naps in the buggy or sling. Then just cannot get him to sleep in the evening until around 9pm which would be ok but is preceded by the most awful shrieking. I would feed him to sleep if I could but he often won't feed, just tired but won't sleep. I try rocking him to sleep etc. but he just jerks around all over the place. Then he's up in the night as well. Just sent him out in the pram with dh Feels ridiculous as its 8.10pm, dark and cold. DH is annoyed, the other children are probably awake still and I feel sh*t. When will this end??

Lobyd · 14/01/2010 20:20

Oh this is me too. Has been getting worse and worse for last 2 weeks (DD is now 18wks) and last few nights just won't settle. Even with the boob or if I rock her - I know, but any port in a storm! Have been up and down the stairs countless times already, no end in sight...

Please tell me this is a phase!?

Lobyd · 14/01/2010 20:35

I should add she always starts crying roughly 10 seconds after i have got downstairs - do you think it's to do with her wanting me to be in the same room ? Isnt she too young to feel anxious about this? (is currently being rocked under one arm!)

lactomum · 14/01/2010 20:53

Good lord - this is me too! After sleeping at least 5 / 6 hours at a stretch at 3 months DS has fallen off the wagon properly and is now up every two hours throughout the night (and in the evening before we go to bed too, which was previously unheard of). We've never co-slept before, but now he's in our bed from 4am so we can at least get a little sleep.

He is 20 weeks and I was blaming a long overseas holiday in a hot climate / too much spoiling from grans / chest infection / being moved to big cot / ebf etc, when it looks like it could just be a phase. I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse frankly!

CoonRapids · 15/01/2010 10:51

Goodness me, I don't know what's up with these 4/5 monthers then! I spend my whole time theorising on what it could be.... teeth, separation anxiety, too cold, too hot, over stimulated, hungry, windy, needing solids etc. etc.! I bet my older children were the same at this age but funny thing is I just can't remember . The current baby and his stormy behaviour has obliterated all memories of the other 2 at this age!

camflower · 15/01/2010 19:49

since i first posted on jan 4 things have been all over the place but i've had a couple of nights where ds slept for six hours in a row - on the other hand these are usually followed by him being up five times between 9pm and 9am!!

the daytime feeding thing is now a nightmare of thrashing around at the breast, grunting, groaning, pulling off, going back on, looking around ... i'm also paranoid that he's not getting enough milk because although i haven't had him weighed properly since before christmas, i feel he isn't really putting much weight on - he's very long and lean.

plus he is still refusing a bottle, although i have had limited success with a doidy cup.

started reading the baby whisperer but it made me very gloomy cos it made me feel like i was doing everything wrong - feeding to sleep etc!

the no cry sleep solution seems a bit more pragmatic ...

OP posts:
blinder · 15/01/2010 22:09

camflower - that sounds like distractibility... here

I'm going through this too...

princesssugar · 16/01/2010 02:18

This has made me feel so much better....... and so much worse. My lo could be all of these was blaming a cough, teething, new cot etc etc. He's nearly 17 weeks and since christmas has been getting progressively worse at night. I'm not used to this rubbish he slept 10 - 6 from birth the past 2 nights he has only slept on me. Am at a loss of what to do and am hoping it settles down. At the minute he waits about 5 minutes (just when i'm dropping off to sleep then starts screaming.)ARRG. Last night he seemed to feed constantly.

Blinder - the link could have been written for my lo - a relief in a way - thought it was my milk supply.

camflower have ordered baby whisperer - due to arrive tomorrow - not sure i'm gonna read it at the moment as am definately doing everythiing wrong.

herbaceous · 16/01/2010 19:31

I may be able to offer a small glimmer of hope. My DS slept 8 til 8 from about 10 weeks. This is easy, I thought. What does everyone complain about. Then at about 20 weeks he started waking two to four times a night, and hardly sleeping in the day. I even started a thread about it - was he getting too many naps, not enough naps, did he need to go on to formula, was he teething, etc etc etc...

Now he's just turned six months, and things aren't so bad. More often than not he sleeps 11 til 6 or so, after a dreamfeed, though as it's so unpredictable, I find myself waking up at 3.30am anyway, waiting for him!

One thing I realised was that he was cold at night. Once I put him in a fleecy sleepsuit, with a fairly warm blanket over his grobag, he slept much better. Though what he really likes is to have a cellular blanket over his face. I can't cope with the worry, though, so he's not allowed that.

He's also very distractable on the boob, particularly the right one, but I have to admit I'm just topping him up with formula at the end of a feed to make sure he gets enough to eat...

StarlightMcKenzie · 16/01/2010 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

DoraJo · 17/01/2010 15:12

Hi
Just started on a feeding change; i'm now giving both sides at every feed (starting with a different side each time) rather than only one side per feed. It might be coincidence but the results have been instant; dd fed at 7pm then 3am for the last 2 nights, only a couple of dummy calls in between! She seems to be going longer between daytime feeds too (3-4 hrs, rather than 2-2.5, except early eves). I think I made a mistake previously in thinking she'd finished when she bobbed off and looked around, but now i think she was just being more alert and nosey in a slightly-older-baby kind of way! If she seems finished on one side, I then offer the other and she seems keen. Maybe I should have been feeding both sides all along? Maybe its just coincidence and it'll all go pear-shaped again tonight! Just thought it was worth a mention. (She's 4 months this week and has been sleeping really badly since the week before Christmas).

DoraJo · 17/01/2010 15:13

PS many thanks to Bratnav for the suggestion on thursday!

ChocolateMoose · 17/01/2010 18:44

Why is there no bags under the eyes 'smiley'?
DS is feeding every 2 hours in the night and now seems happy to go 3 hours without food in the day. Plus the distractibility thing during daytime feeds - suck, look up and smile, suck, look up and smile, feed properly for a bit, then start grinning at me (and he has 2 teeth now, so there's a limit to how much I want to shove my nipple in his mouth if he's feeling playful). I am basically feeling like some sort of all-night diner.

So my plan was for tonight that I cuddle him / give him a dummy / whatever I can do to try and space out feeds to 3 hours. And then try and get lots of milk in him tomorrow and basically try and reverse this whole feeding at night and not in the day thing. I've got my mum coming up tomorrow so I can have a sleep in the afternoon.

Only problem is I am SO TIRED. REALLY don't feel like doing this. Bleurgh.

ChocolateMoose · 17/01/2010 20:17

Oh, and reading the Baby Whisperer does indeed make one depressed. I started reading bits in a weak moment the other day (wondering whether to charity shop it). Basically her line is "Anything that is wrong with your baby's sleeping / feeding is YOUR FAULT, because you have not been following my One True Way to look after a baby." Hmmph.

africanviolet · 17/01/2010 20:27

I am sorry if I am going to make you all feel very gloomy, but I just have to post because I am going crazy I am so exhausted! My 7 month old has been waking up at night every 1 or 2 hours for the last 2 months! (And I have a very busy 2 year old boy.) Sometimes for a breastfeed, sometimes just awake, sometimes crying. Tried everything, controlled crying(broke my heart and did not work), no milk at night(which meant being up ALL night), cutting out certain foods, no caffeine or alcohol for me, and the list goes on and on. I'm telling myself it is just a phase and there are worse things in life than being sleep deprived, but I am so tired!! We are co sleeping as well, my poor husband has been kicked out of bed and sleeps in the spare bedroom and I am such a light sleeper I wake up even if my dd just sighs! Anyway, I know there is no answer, just wanted to have a moan. I hope you all have better nights.

puffylovett · 17/01/2010 21:14

Just marking my place.

Even though I KNOW DS1 did exactly the same thing. Even though I KNOW DS1 went back to 1 night feed after a few weeks. Even though I KNOW DS2 will likely be the same (I can't even remember how many weeks he is, I am that shattered !! nearly 16 I think, but was nearly 3 weeks overdue), I'm STILL obsessively trawling sleep threads.

Still, it's nice to know I have company

blinder · 18/01/2010 09:56

well - just to give you hope, last night DD slept 10.30 pm till 5.30 am when I woke her up in a panic and fed her. She then went back to sleep till 8.30 am while I stayed awake, totally unable to sleep!

Have done nothing different other than take her to a birthday party in the day. I think she may need physical activity / busyness to wear her out in the day?

herbaceous · 18/01/2010 10:45

After having said DS is sleeping better, last night he woke up every 45 minutes between 1am and 6am, having rolled on to his side and got stuck.

I was also struck down with some kind of vomiting bug, necessitating a dash to the loo.

How crap do I feel????

ChocolateMoose · 18/01/2010 12:58

Sympathy to herbaceous and africanviolet...

I'm feeling quite chirpy today against all expectations as we had a 2 hour snooze in bed after DH gone to work. Managed to get feeds down to 9.30, 1am, 4am and 6.45 last night, plus an hour session and a half-hour session of picking him up / giving him a dummy to suck and trying to stop him scratching his face. I've only just tried him with a dummy in the last couple of days as he didn't like it when he was little and I wasn't that keen on it anyway, but it does help soothe him!

My top tip for what it's worth: a good audio book on an ipod or whatever helps ease the pain.

camflower · 18/01/2010 15:35

ah, yes, the kellymom pages, thanks for that blinder and starlight

how's it going chocmoose? good idea about audio books - i was reading lots in a low light during the night feeds but then i thought it was probably better not to put the light on, just do the feed and plonk him back in the cot ... or [moment of weakness emoticon] get him in bed with us.

i think the main problem now is that ds wants to sleep on his front so he rolls himself over and goes to sleep but when he wakes up he is a bit stuck so he starts shouting for help - after all it's not easy rolling in a grobag

been having another peek at the baby whisperer - it's a bit like picking a scab. see what else i'm doing wrong while i'm at it!

gotta go and attend to the crying - the afternoon nap is obviously not going very well

OP posts:
blinder · 19/01/2010 21:08

just to snatch away the hope I gave - six wakings last night .

herbaceous · 19/01/2010 21:18

Me too. Woke at 12.30, 2.30, 3, 3.30, 5, 6.30 and 8.

Thinking back, it seems to have coincided with me taking away his comfort blanket in a panic about SIDS (as on another thread). But it also coincides with weaning, with a tooth appearing, with a change to follow-on milk, with their being an R in the month, to my pants being pink, etc etc...

Last night I was having a dream that we had a night nanny when he started crying for the Nth time. Took me a while to wake up and realise it wasn't true.

camflower · 21/01/2010 12:44

big yawn

ds asleep half nine.
me asleep at 10.50 after making quick supper (dh usually at work in the evenings)
awake 12.45-1.20am
awake 4.08-4.50
awake 6.30-7.15
awake 8.35 and still awake now, nap-free at 12.40pm ...

night before last i started bedtime routine at 6pm and he was asleep by 7.45, which was a first!!!!
last night i was getting a train back from my parents so didn't get home until gone 8pm but gonna try the 6pm thing again tonight. it was fab having a couple of hours of evening to myself for the first time in nearly 5 months!!

OP posts:
picklesrule · 21/01/2010 12:50

So glad to find this thread! My 14 week old was sleeping like a dream from about 9 weeks..most nights going from around 7 til 5.30 ish (sheer fluke, nothing I did!)
Now she is waking 3-4+ times a night and really not wanting to settle..was chirpy and chatty for 2 hours between 2-4 last night...argh! I have been blaming all sorts of things..seems we will just have to ride it out..Its nice to know that we are definately not alone!

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