How 'normal' is it to take toddler into your bed at night?

[tinierclanger]

For once, not asking for advice, just wondering really. We had a blissful patch when DS was routinely sleeping through 7-6, (he's 16m), but now we seem to be back to him waking at 3 or 4 a lot of nights, at which point I go into the spare room and take him in with me, and we go back to sleep. I think I've sort of come to accept this as normal for us, but is it fairly common? What do other people do with toddlers that wake in the night? The only other thing that works, that I do if he wakes before midnight, is to let him go back to sleep on me and then transfer to cot, but that takes about an hour, so I can't be bothered in the early hours. But I guess it's considered more 'right' to resettle them in their own bed...?

Ds goes through spells of this. He gets up in the middle of the night and just climbs into our bed. Far more faff to put him back and have the tears so we just go with it.

Then he'll go weeks sleeping through and it starts again (he's 3).

I'm fine with it although if I wake up later on I sometimes take him back to his own bed. He's a wriggler which isn't particularly conducive to the best quality sleep (for us), but on balance it works.

My 10yr old got in with us the other night. Along with the cat

Ours all pile in at various stages of the night.

Baby (DS 2) always in there.

DD (2.5) trots in at some point in the night.

DS (4.5) ends up in with us in the morning.

It won't be like this forever. It's quite fun really, listening to stories on the ipod or reading stories all together on a Sunday morning.

Not normal for me, I have absolutely nothing against children in parents' beds just not in mine!

I sleep lightly anyway and hardly sleep a wink when a child is in my bed with me, not helped by the fact they are all wigglebums and fidget a lot. Mind you I also sleep better when DH is away too!

Well, I'd rather not have him in with me, as it means moving to the spare bed, and I don't sleep as well as I do in my bed with DP. But it's just so much easier. So on balance, it seems worth it.

I'd probably enjoy it if it was less frequent.

IME it passes eventually - with all of mine they were sleeping through in their own beds every night by about 4. Bad dreams or being cold might make them come in to us now but only rarely.

Normal for us, if DS1 is ill. He comes in our bed and DP goes in his bed

I prefer it that way, cos I can keep an eye on him then. And nothing beats being woken up with a sloppy toddler kiss (although lately he thinks it' funny to lick me )

Only a problem if it is a problem for you ie. not getting enough sleep, missing your own bed. If that's the case then you'd have to go cold turkey and put up with a lot of crying, I guess.

Out of interest, does she sleep if she comes into bed with you and DP? Or is that totally out of the question?

Someone really caught me out with this recently when I said that I was embarassed to admit that I liked going to sleep with my 22 month old DD, holding her tight against me, and he said "Why should a mother be embarassed or ashamed to admit that she likes holding her child?" Really brought me up sharp. I think it would be a different thing though if DD were bouncing around shouting and crying, but instead co-sleeping and then putting her back in her own cot seems to work for us.

Normal in our house. Our thoughts are there will come a time when they won't want to be in the same house as us let alone the same bed. Waking up to their little sleepy faces is a joy...and one I will miss when that time comes.

normal for us too but still going on - dd now aged 7!!

Normal in our house. DS is 4yo, and most nights I go in beside him in his bed (he has a double) when he wakes in the night and sleep with him until the morning.

He tells me that he just doesn't like to sleep alone. Which is fair enough I reckon.

Very, IMO, based on comments from other parents.

Normal. Dd has been in my bed on and off since she was born. Ds is 18 months and far too wiggly and just won't sleep on the occasions I've bought him in when he or I have been ill. Interestingly though, he is still breastfed but won't bf in bed anymore. With dd I stopped bfing at 10 months but continued to co sleep. Dd is in my bed right now actually, as she had a terrible nightmare last night and was a bit wobbly this evening. She is 5, and will sleep very happily in her own bed, but I think she likes knowing she can hop in with me if she wants (I have cut back on it though tbh, and told her really I don't mind it at the weekend but she has to be in her bed in the week, nightmares not withstanding.)

"Well, I'd rather not have him in with me, as it means moving to the spare bed"

Why? Why not let him get in the big bed with you and dh?

He doesn't always settle as well when he's in bed with both of us, seeker. But even when he does, he takes up a lot of space and we (DP and me) both get a bit marginalised. So it's preferable for me and DS to migrate to the spare room so we all get more space.

It's not a big deal, and it doesn't happen every night so I'm not going to anything to stop it, but it's reassuring to find so many other people do it. As the official party line you get from people in public is that one 'shouldn't'.

I like the post saying you shouldn't be embarassed or ashamed to admit you like it.

I think it's very normal.

What I don't think is normal is my DD insisting I get out of my bed in the middle of the night, and go and sleep in hers with her.