How 'normal' is it to take toddler into your bed at night?

[tinierclanger]

For once, not asking for advice, just wondering really. We had a blissful patch when DS was routinely sleeping through 7-6, (he's 16m), but now we seem to be back to him waking at 3 or 4 a lot of nights, at which point I go into the spare room and take him in with me, and we go back to sleep. I think I've sort of come to accept this as normal for us, but is it fairly common? What do other people do with toddlers that wake in the night? The only other thing that works, that I do if he wakes before midnight, is to let him go back to sleep on me and then transfer to cot, but that takes about an hour, so I can't be bothered in the early hours. But I guess it's considered more 'right' to resettle them in their own bed...?

4 yr old dd still ends up in our bed most nights.. we all get a good nights sleep which justifies anything in my book...

DD - aged 5 and a half - still in the 'big bed' . Her arguement is: why should I be on my own when you're with daddy? - she has a point....I think!

Snap horseradish!(although DD4 is "only" 3)

Normal for us too I'm afraid to say.

Oddly enough, we never had our dc in with us when they were (and one of them still is) toddlers. As babies and as school-age children, yes, plenty of times. Just not between, say 12m and 4y.

Never occured to me before, but that's pretty much the opposite of what happens to most people.

My first thought is, if it works for you then just go with the flow. You can always change things later - maybe with a lot of effort maybe with little, but things can still change.

My second thought is - is he cold? You say it's a recent change, and of course the weather gets colder. In Sept, when he was coming up for 3y, ds2 was going to bed in pjs, sleeping bag, and blanket. He started waking at godforsaken-o'clock, so we started piling on the layers, adding another whenever he started waking regularly again. Now he goes to bed in: long-sleeved vest, pjs, extra pj top, socks, sleeping bag, and quilt. And when we go up to bed we check to make sure he's still covered and add another blanket. Sounds extreme - but he sleeps. And if the quilt and blanket come off during the night, he wakes again.

Not every night but I think it is normal to take toddler into bed with you. When DP is away I often take DD - 20 months - in bed with me, or if she has a cough like she did last night and needed frequent drinks, it just makes sense.

She is real wriggler though so wouldn't want her in all night every night!

not for us- neither of them go back to sleep in our bed just wriggle about and then no one gets to sleep.

If dd1 wakes (2.3) we keep her in her room and maybe sit with her in the armchair we put in there.

If dd2 wakes (15 mo) she's a much tougher nut to crack and we take her downstairs for milk/anti histamine/nappy change/excema cream/whatever will do the trick!

My sister had all 3 of hers in bed with her last few nights though- they are 8,4 & 2!

We have our 1 yr old and our 3 yr old in with us most nights. We had to buy a bigger bed.

5 and 3 yo DDs not in with us very often - usually only when they're ill (they rarely wake through the night unless ill). DD3 (18months) very frequently in with us. She always seems to have a runny nose/cough/something bothering her and I will not sit up in the freezing cold trying to get her into her cot again. It's fine usually, but last night she was snoring terribly and has got snot all over my clean pjs

Pretty normal I would say, dd slept in with me more often than not at that age.

To all the people who say 'you're making a rod for your own back' blah de blah, they won't do it forever (dd is 14 now and barely ever ventures in my bedroom, let alone my bed ) - they wean themselves off it eventually.

Is nice having the snuggles, tbh. Don't get the obsessions with having young children stay in their own bed.

yep, i agree with all of the above. My ds is 2 and probably ends up with us at least once or twice a week. No dramas really, and I like the cuddles. What I don't like is when he puts cold feet down my pj bottoms to warm them up.

Girlsyearappart, when DH is away for a few days for work, All My Dcs sleep in my bed (10,8,5,3) and although I do not get much sleep, I really love it!

Does anyone else think it is always the smallest one who takes the most space?

DD2 (4) comes in most nights when DH is away. Now she is in week ends too. I gave up fighting it when she was about 18 months, so now she just climbs in a sleeps straight away. certainly beats sleep training and any other method/theory (I know, I've tried them all!!)
I admit secretly I quite like it. However it is another story on the odd week end when DD1 (9 tomorrow) climbs in with me, DH and DD2. I'm the one getting pushed out and sleeping in one of the girls rooms

dd2 hops into our bed about once a week. I think she has bad dreams.

And yes, she takes up more space that DH and I do.

DD (4.11) comes in 2/3 times per week because she "has made sad dreams".

DS1 (3.8) comes in 3/4 times per week just cos he likes too.

Is a bit if a squeeze with them both!

DS1 has never slept well on his own but this is a new phase for DD1. As long as we all get a half decent night's sleep I couldn't care less!

DD (3) climbs in with us maybe 1 night in 2 - she is now good enough at it that I don't always even notice she is there until the morning - unless/until she starts kicking off the duvet, which is so annoying.

DS (7) will come in if DH is away or on weekend mornings - it gets crowded.

DD (2.3) will come into bed with us if she wakes in the night, which thankfully is not very often - usually when she's under the weather. She is a right wriggler though, so she is the only one who gets to sleep - DH and I end up knackered and battered

Normal for me too. I co-slept with DS until he was about 5.5mo anyway, then managed to get him into the cot, where he mostly stayed all night, or at least until he woke around 4-6am, when I would bring him into bed so I we could go back to sleep after feeding.

Then we decided to emigrate when he was ~18mo - sending most of the furniture away before we went, so DS was using the travel cot in his room, when he could be persuaded to stay in it. That was for 10 weeks.

Then we got here, and there was no way he would go into the travel cot while I was in the same room as him so he came straight into my bed - and he's now got into that habit, I can't get him to go to sleep unless I am there too. Bad habit, need to break it - but tbh I sleep better with DS than I do with DH! (so does DH). It would help if we had a door on DS's bedroom, so I could put him in bed and shut the door...

DD3 comes in most nights atm with lots of reasons why I put a bigger duvet on her bed this weekend and that has helped so far. I heard her wake a 4am last night but she settled herself back down which is a first for a long while.

I think it's probably because we never did the co sleeping thing with our 2. I was always too paranoid to have them in with us.

I would do it now they're bigger if it meant more sleep but it doesn't !

Thank God for Sky +

So it looks like it may go on for years! Oh well, I don't mind really.

I don't think he's cold, he feels warm enough when I pick him up, but I may think about another layer. Bit paranoid about overheating though. ATM he's in sleeping bag, sleepsuit and pyjama top over the top.

DS is 7. He wanders in most nights in the wee hours. I can't be bothered to get up so he just hops right in between us. He's been doing it since he was tiny. I find sleeping faaaar more important tbh then getting up and resettling him in his room. I'm guessing he'll grow out of it eventually, sometime before he hits his teens!!!!!!

Luckily DD sleeps like the proverbial log.

Very normal in our house.

I think it depends on how well it works for you. My DD's and we both sleep really badly when we share a bed- we all need our space! So it works badly for us. But if you and DS can both nod straight off I'd say it's not a problem!