WTF is going on with my 4-month-old?

[herbaceous]

Hello all

I have a problem which I believe is shared by many, and just wondered if any of you had been through the same thing and found a solution.

My four-month-old had been sleeping through the night - 10 til 8, or so - since he was about 10 weeks old. He wasn't great at napping during the day, and would cluster feed like mad during the evening, but I thought it was a price worth paying.

It got to the stage, though, that he was so overtired by the late afternoon and evening, that I got firmer with his routine, and now have him on a roughly three-hour cycle of eat, activity, sleep. He only ever naps for 40 mins at a time, so has about 2-3 hours sleep during the day.

However, he now hardly sleeps at night. He won't go to sleep before 10 (if I put him down before then, he's wide awake, chatting, and then crying if I leave him too long), then wakes up at 2 and quite often 4 or 5 as well, staying awake for an hour at a time. He wakes up for good at 8.

He is therefore only getting about 10 hours sleep in total in 24 hours.

I am mainly breastfeeding, with a bottle of formula before bed. After a bottle of formula he's as chatty and happy as larry, whereas after bf he still seems unhappy. As i feed every three hours during the day (and did when he was sleeping through), you'd have thought the supposed increase in supply would have happened. He's also bobbing on and off the boob, and getting very distracted with both boob and bottle.

He also had his third big immunisations last Tuesday, which is about when it all started to go wrong.

So, ladies, do I:

1 Extend his naps, as he may be overtired by night time?

2 Reduce his naps, as maybe he's not tired enough?

3 Give him more formula (topping up after a bf) during the day to fill him up?

4 Hope it's 'just a phase'?

5 Punch the next health visitor who says 'growth spurt'?

Well, I put him to bed last night at 8. It was a fight to get him to go to sleep, as he was overtired by then. He woke up at 9, and then at 10, but was shushed back to sleep, then woke up at 11, when I gave him the boob. He then slept until 7, when I gave him more boob, and he fell asleep for another hour and a half! So, more than 12 hours sleep. This would seem to be the way forward.

I'm not particularly wedded to EASY, it's just he seems to be tired about two hours after waking up. And feeding him after he wakes up means I don't mistake tired cry for hungry cry, which has caused many a meltdown problem before now!

He also seems to have the longest naps in the morning, rather than after lunch, which I'm sure GF wouldn't approve of.

Mmm. Have you worked out what 'bored' cry sounds like yet? It's one of the trickiest to get. Might be worth though seeing if you can stretch out one of his wakeful periods a bit, so he has a longer nap at some point in the day - as he gets bigger, he will start dropping naps, so it's worth having a long one you can rely on for future mning cooking or cleaning time.

Hi and sorry for your pain! My DS (now nearly 1yo) was pure evil at 4 mo. He'd been crap before but started waking hourly at night and would only do 40 min day naps. I did lots of co-sleeping and BFing back to sleep; I think you've just got to take the path of least resistance and do whatever gets you through tbh.

He also did lots of the thrashing about when BFing at 4-5mo but it was all down to teeth; they suck really hard to BF I suppose, it must hurt when their gums are sensitive.

Repeat the mantra:

These things will pass
It's just a phase
These things will pass
It's just a phase

PS DS now sleeps through from 6.30 - 5.30ish every night. Cutting out night feeds at 9mo was what did it but there's no way he ever would have slept through until he was eating enough during the day.

WWe have similar problem. Baby now 7 mths and was a great sleeper until about 4 mths. I notice that I don't leak nearly as much. Before I was leaking all over hte place which makes me think my supply is not enough.

I also have just moved him to a bigger cot which is more comfortable. Here is hoping.

Hey drosophila, I stopped leaking at all when I weaned DS at 6mo. I think your supply just kind of evens out a bit iyswim.

lots of people are saying wise things so this might not be any help really but honestly, as you say yourself, babies change so rapidly and what they are up to one week or month might be totally different the next - with my first dc i tried really hard to get him into a routine and it worked ok for the first 8 months of his life, then we proceeded to have 1.5 years (i kid you not!!) of sleeping hell - up for hours every night and believe me we tried every trick from every book til one day he just started sleeping well!
now i have a 3 month old dd and decided to not attempt any routine in particular, mostly because it is impossible to stick to with a 3 year old to look after/take out etc and she is very happy and settled and i am considerably less stressed about doing things "right" and therefore enjoying this baby phase a lot more!
Think what i am trying to say is - you can't really predict what will happen next so maybe just roll with it and try to enjoy these baby months, they will be over before you know it

FFS. Now he's got a cold, so was awake at 1, 4 and 7, and snuffling away for the rest of the time.

As for identifying a 'bored' cry, I'm pretty sure it's a little cough-like fussing, after he's been in one place or with one toy for a while. Usually shortly precedes 'tired', which segues straight into 'frantic yelling'. I never catch the half-nanosecond when he's drowsy, but not overtired....

I'm going through the same thing pretty much - my baby is 4mo, used to sleep 8-7 but has started waking up through the night, fussing when feeding (he scratches my boobs ouch!), and also has a snotty cold. Don't have any advice, came on here looking for it myself, but just wanted to say you're not alone

Herby, we've had 2 nights of me getting up to DD 5 times, she hates a snuffly nose. Last night we did nothing different and she slept.

The cold will go and things will get better.

I need some sleep - thank you! Last night we propped his mattress up, put karvol on a hanky. He went to bed at 8 and slept like a dream. Cracked it! I thought. He woke at 11.30, fed, did a pooh. Changed his nappy, and he screamed until 1.30. Woke at 3, fed him. He did a pooh. Changed him, put him in cot. He did a pooh. Changed him, put him in cot. He screamed until he went on our bed at 5am.

Woke at 7.45. fed. Did pooh. But did then snooze from 9 til 10.45.

Now have aged parents descending, who'll want to know 'why is he crying'? I could weep.

Would the cold explain the freqent 'loose motions'?

Hi Herbaceous, I have no solution or advice, but am sending lots of sympathy your way.

I have been reading this thread with great interest as I am facing EXACTLY the same problem (including the sudden re-appearance of multiple night poohs) - DS is 3.5 months (I have stopped counting the weeks ) and while he has never been a brilliant sleeper, we had the 4-hours stretches and no pooping at night. However, about three weeks ago, his sleeping intervals shortened to 2-3 hours and he started to poop 1-3 times a night, sometimes right after the feed, but other times in between the feeds, making me wake up every hour...)
He now also has a cold and I am a walking zombie.
His older sister was a terrible sleeper for the first 3 months (colic and all), but around this age she started going through the night - it is so frustrating that we seem to be going backwards!
Anyway, I will keep reading to see how you get along - at least we know we are not alone

i was putting my 12 week old to bed at 8 but as you say she was waking early hours of the morning so what i have decided to do is bf her at 6pm and 8pm then give her formula at 10 and aim to get her in bed for 10.30 or so, see how that goes, when she was 6 weeks or so she would go to bed at 11 same as us, and sleep til 6am some mornings so am aiming for that again. think we were a bit soon trying to get her in bed at 8!!

have you tried some of the no cry sleep solution methods? There is a section in there about getting them to extend their short naps, I had the same problem with my dd and found after a few days of hovering by at the 35-45 minute mark and rocking or patting helped her to carry on sleeping and make the transition into deep sleep. I think its common that they have taken the edge off the tiredness with a 40 minute cat nap but dont fully recharge their batteries.

Herby, I know you'll probably not want to hear this but could DC be teething as well as a 4 month growth spurt?

That could explain the nappies.

As for people wanting to know why the baby is crying. All babies cry. Just say "Yes its very, very tiring. Would you mind taking LO out for a walk so I could catch up on some sleep?"

Minnie, we tried the No Cry Sleep Solution with DD and it was very good.

god, I hope not.

He's been drooling and chewing things for about six weeks now, but no sign of any teeth. I'm assuming it's the cold that's giving him the runs - all that mucus he's swallowing.

Last night only woke up at 10.30, 3.30 and 7, which I suppose could count as good. Filled his nappy each time, though.

It's as though he's been reset to 'factory preset', and has reverted to newborn behaviour!

Has his rash gone?

Yes, thanks, his rash went about the time that the cold emerged. Now I've got a hideously sore throat - if this is what DS has/had, no wonder he feels ropey!

GREAT! Now he's discovered he can roll. But only a bit. He woke up three times in the night stuck on his side, and I had to go and put him back on his back.

Any magic cures/devices?

Ds2:

4-month old previously sleeping through without pooing - check.

Now waking several times a night - check.

Now pooing during the night - check.

Now has terrible cold and waking every hour or more - check.

Sorry don't have any answers for you, just adding my example to show it really is typical of this age. Ds1 was worse, though, and it passed, so I don't feel too desperate (yet). As for teething, ds1 showed all the symptoms (constant drooling, mouthing, red cheeks etc) from 3 months and didn't get any till 2 days before his first birthday, so now I don't believe in them until I actually see one.

Herby, hugs. That's all. xx

Took him to the doctor's today, as he was still poohing excessively, and it turns out he's got a tummy bug, and terrible nappy rash. I feel the shittest mother ever, moaning about my lack of sleep.

She was one of those nice lady doctors, who look you in the eye and say 'and how are YOU', which made me start blubbing. 'Just tired,' I said...

Oh Herby, you are not a shit mother. You didn't miss anything, you have been expressing your concerns on here and took Lo to the doctors.

Are you still bfing? If so the tummybug shouldn't last that long.

Hope you get some rest tonight.

Can DH do a couple of hours so that you can get some kip?

You are not a shit mother. Hope DS gets over his tummy bug soon and then you can get some sleep xx

Thanks girls.

It's my birthday today, so as a special treat I dosed myself up with night nurse (for the cold), put in the ear plugs, and slept from 10 til 8, while DP dealt with baby. Who in the event only woke up once!

Herbaceaous....

My perfect 10-12 hour a night sleeper has gone... replaced by a nightmare night waker!!

I have exactly the same problem as you and I'm really hoping it improves. Currently still only bf, dd will NOT have a bottle of milk. (she loves water out of a bottle if thirsty though).

Wakes after going down at 8: 12, 3 and 5ish and I then have to wake her so I can get ready for work at about 7.30. This has been the same since the clocks went back. Or, a week before I started back at work...

I was thinking maybe it might be my diet as I am on one (ww and it's tailored for bf mothers) - anyone know if that's a possibilty?

I am running on fumes and I refuse to co-sleep like I did with dd1 (although, dd1 was a perfect sleeper!).