Help with an early waking 21month old

[AddictedtoCrunchies]

My DS is 21 months old and for the last couple of months has been awake and ready to start the day between 4.30 and 5.30am. DH gets up and gives him a bottle then tries to re-settle him but he just yells (and it's a yell you can't ignore, especially not living in a mid-terrace).

So he gets up and either potters around or sits in bed between us and reads a book or chats. Usual stuff.

He has a bottle of milk before bed (around 8-9oz) and then another when he wakes (again 8-9oz). He eats very well, three meals a day plus snacks and is very active. He has two days a week at nursery and one day apiece with Nanna, Grandma and me. The weekends are with me and DH.

I'm racking my brains to try and work out why he is waking. I've considered he may be cold - he sleeps in a vest, sleepsuit and 2.5tog grobag and the temp in his room varies between 18/19 degrees (which I understand is ok). His hands and ears seem chilly when he wakes but when I check his chest and back (as I was told to do), he seems warm.

I don't really want to leave the heating on all night but don't want to pile blankets/layers on in case he overheats.

I've also considered a dream feed (but haven't done that in over a year) and the 'waking-up an hour before' thing but mum always says not to wake a sleeping baby.

Has anyone experienced this and/or got any suggestions to help me? I'm feeling a little jaded right now..!!

Anyone?

I don't have any great advice, but an awful lot of sympathy. My dd (22 months) also wakes at this time and it is doing my head in. I think she is just an early riser and I am hoping it is a phase she will grow out of. Is there someone who can give you a break?

Yes my mum has been great and has him one night a week and DH and I take turns for a lie in at the weekend (I never thought I'd consider 7.30 a lie in).

I worry about DS too as he's at nurserry today but was yawning when I dropped him off. i don't want him to be tired either.

thanks so much for your reply. To know i'm not alone is a little heartening.!

I cracked it but it involves leaving your child to cry and you may not want to do that

Have you tried a bunny clock. We have one with an illuminated picture of bunny asleep and then awake, set for 7am

I told dd2 when she was about 21 mos, that I would not come and get her before bunny was up. There was mucho screaming the first morning but I put in ear plugs. The next less. The next none, she'd gone back to sleep.

She still wakes sometimes before 7am but usually we leave her (not always, depends if she's ill or whatever). But if she sleeps until after bunny she gets a sticker. She's 2 1/2 now and has dropped her nap and that's helped, does your ds have a nap he could drop? It's really rough, so all my sympathy

I'm really sorry to have to say this but you may just have to learn to live with it...we tried everything with ds1 and he stll, at nearly 4, wakes before 6 most days, and always has.

Ds2 on the other hand will happily snooze til 7.30 or 8, and we've done nothing different.

We just developed coping strategies such as taking it in turns to go downstairs with him rather than having him in our bed keeping us both awake.

Good luck though - I hope you have more success than us!

What time does he go to bed? Perhaps he needs to go down earlier. dd1 is 20months and sleeps much better when in bed before 7pm - if poss 6.30pm.

Also I'd stop the bottle at this time. He's probably not hungry and you are merely reinforcing his early waking habit by feeding him and talking to him...I'd leave him for a good 15mins before going near his room. Sounds harsh but if he cries a bit but goes back to sleep that's the best outcome for everyone!

Avon - I'm interested in that but I don't understand how putting him to bed earlier will make him sleep later. How does that work? Also, he REALLY yells and I'm not strong enough to leave him..guess I'm worried about the neighbours!

It's the strange but true principal that sleep begets sleep - basically the more sleep your baby gets the better they will sleep. Sounds a bit paradoxical huh?!?! Simply put the idea that keeping your child up later will help them sleep longer is misguided. It merely serves to make them more tired and result in a 'wired' brain, diminishing the quality of sleep. If my 20mo goes to sleep 'late' she inevitably wakes up grumpy. The same principal works with naps - if she doesn't get enough sleep in the day there is the potential for her to struggle in the night. I've learnt this from Dr Marc Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child which I've used since dd1 was 4 months (without the controlled crying, we never did that part). He says the key to a good night's sleep is usually an earlier bedtime - music to every parent's ears! It's worth a read. I'm following his principles with regard to dd2 who is 9 weeks and she is sleeping much better at this age than dd1 ever did. Try putting your ds to sleep an hour earlier and see what happens. Def recommend the book although it has turned me into a bit of a sleep obsessive.

Does he nap in the day? When and for how long?

Putting them to bed earlier means they are less likely to be overtired and therefore are more rested and sleep better. Sounds crazy but has always worked for me - the later mine go to bed the worse they sleep, and don;t lie-in/

I don't have all the answers - DS is up around 6am.......but I guess that would be better than 4.30! My DS seems to be up then regardless of bedtime. Later bed makes him wake earlier and be up in the night!

Oops- x-post with Avon - who explained it much better than me

Avon - whats a typical day for your 20 month old re:naps and bedtime?

Yes Avon - I'm interested in that. Am going to have a look at that book too. Thanks for your comprehensive reply.

You're very welcome! She naps at 12.30 ish for up to 2.5hrs and bed 6.30-7pm. She's up from 6.30am onwards. xxx

I could cope with 6.30am - we have to be up then anyway to get sorted for nursery and work. DS generally goes to bed around midday and sleeps for 3 hours (except nursery days where he does an hour if we're lucky).

I've been thinking this afternoon..currently we go upstairs after Night Garden so that's about 6.45. I faff for a bit and he will get into the bath around 7 then plays in there, then gets dressed then bottle and so he probably doesn't go off to sleep until getting on for 8. So me saying he goes to bed at 7 isn't right.

Tonight I'm going to take him up at 6.45 but have the bath run ready and his clothes out and milk warmed. Will aim to get him in bed and light out by 7 and see if that makes a difference.

Will report back in the morning. Thank you all for your replies.

Addicted - good luck tonight. We used to go up after night garden too, then they put it on later so we go before

I would think 3 hours is too long for a day time nap.....could you try and chop it by half an hour or so? Then bed a little earlier. The longest i let my DS sleep is 2 hours (if i need it!!) usually about 1 1/2-3/4 hours from about 12.30 onwards. I know its hard cos when they've been up since stupid o clock you're on a vicious circle...

Yes that's been in my mind for a while that he's sleeping too long. But it's so nice to get stuff done..!!

Thanks for your support.

UPDATE
Bathed, had milk and in bed with the light off by 6.36. Flat out by 6.45. But he did only have 50 mins at nursery which means that's all he's had since 4.50am.

Let's see what time he wakes!!

Watching this thread with interest!

DS killing me at the moment - unsettled and early mornings but nothing new there. Having got back into the 5's I am now back in the 4's in the last week.

DH so wants me to just leave him to cry in the morning as he thinks we will crack it.

Am going to try leaving him for 15 mins - thanks Avon - sometimes need to come back on here and listen to new ideas having tried nearly everything.

Additcted - hope it sorts itself out for you soon - lots of sympathy - I am slightly mad after 18 months of this!

Good luck all! Keep us updated xxx

UPDATE 2

He slept until 6.30am!!!!!! Avon you're a bloody genius!!!!!

We've got nursery photos and swimming lessons this morning and am going to put him to bed after lunch but let him have a maximum of 2 hours. Then same routine tonight.

Thank you soooo much (I hope I'm not speaking too soon..)

x

Woo hoo!!!!!! Fantastic!
Have a great day

xx

Oh My God fantastic! Remember, as with everything relating to toddlers, don't count your chickens yet...please let us know if tonight is similar. Am so glad my obsessions with sleep might actually help someone rather than just annoy! Have fun today xx

Have just seen this thread. So glad that the earlier bedtime did the trick, although as Avon says, you never know with toddlers.

I too am a BIG fan of the Marc Weissbluth book and tried out the earlier bedtime theory myself last time as 2.8 year old DS has been waking really early. He woke in the night once (grrr) but then slept till 7.25 so it really does seem to work!

DS is in bed after a busy morning and I've just ordered the Weissbluth book from Amazon.

Thank you so much for all your help and I'll let you know what happens tonight...!

UPDATE DAY 2

In bed and asleep by 6.55 last night and slept through to 6.25 this morning. So still working.

He did have a tantrum yesterday in a cafe - that was a shocker. Thought they didn't do that until they were 2 ?!?!?!?