Still only 4 hours at 12 weeks

[Hughsie]

Help - ds2 still only sleeps for 4 hours at 12 weeks old - breastfeeding with one bottle (formula) which makes no difference to the length of sleep - only sleeps for 1.5 hours in a row in the day also with cat naps of half an hour here and there. What can I do to help this situation? Getting desperate as have to cope with a 2 yr old ds1 and new baby in the day on little sleep.

Need sympathy if nothing else?

Hughsie - can sympathise - DD2 arrived in the middle of an extension too.....Found GF worked - didn't follow it ridgidly as v.hard when you have another. Found her tips about regular feeds between 7am-7pm and structured day time sleep worked a treat - took a couple of weeks to get into routine and I did become very precious it anybody tried to interupt routine!!..
Good luck..

How's everyone doing. Helenpad and Hughsie how's it going? Elliot, your ds sound exactly like mine, could have written your post. He is 6 weeks old. As your ds did, he settles well at 7 pm, if left he will generally sleep until about 12 or 1am, if I wake him at 10/10.30 pm he generally goes back down at about 11 but then wakes again after about 4 hours....don't understand this. I know ds is very young but he seems stuck at the 4 hour bit in the night, despite me increasing his 7 am, 10.30 am and 6.30 pm feeds. I don't let him sleep too long during the day and try to stimulate him as much as possible during his awake periods. His day time kips however have improved since Tuesday when I increased the morning feeds. I know I'm probably being impatient but shouldn't he start to be gradually going a longer stretch in the night?? Ds does seem a very hungry boy, never ever refuses a feed and drinks every last drop of his bottles. Like you Hughsie, if I could just get a slightly longer stretch of kip I think I would be more able to cope during the day with an active toddler as well. Resting when they are in bed is good in theory but I don't find easy as it's the only time to catch up on things you can't do when they are up and about (like go on Mumsnet )

I think two of the worst problems we have is that we a/expect too much from our babies and b/compare them to other babies. I think going four hours at night at 6weeks is fantastic! I'd have another baby tomorrow if I thought this would happen! I truly think it is very unusual for a baby with a tummy this tiny to last any longer than this. My ds certainly never did. Four hours was a marathon for us for months. And TWO four hour stretches? A miracle! there is only one answer for real tinies, sleep when the baby does and bugger the housework and mumsnet!

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I suppose it is different if you had a miracle baby who slept loads from the start - I remember smug friends having them when I was a baggy eyed ghost and also remember thinking, I hope your next child never sleeps... maybe you were similarly cursed

Melly, not that similar actually! My ds was around 8 weeks-2 months before he EVER slept a four hour stretch in one go - at 6 weeks it was midnight, 2am, 4am, 6am.....as it had been since he was born (never understood all that stuff about waking sleepy newborns for feeds!!)

According to what I've read about sleep, it is around 6 weeks that a physiological change occurs in newborns sleep patterns and they become capable of sleeping for one longer block in 24 hours - hopefully (but not inevitably!) at night - but for some babies that block might only be 4 hours. For others of course it might be longer.

I suspect that this is why waking at 10 doesn't work for some babies - if they have got into the habit of falling into their big block of sleep in the early evening and you are simply interrupting it. Ideally what you want of course is for their big block of sleep to develop after 10 pm - I think this is why GF insists that you wake them fully at this time from the beginning - but certainly it does seem difficult to change this pattern for babies that go to sleep well in the early evening. Probably easier if you don't introduce an early bedtime too soon - but then you don't get those evenings....
ah, well. It is tough but it doesn't last forever...just keep reminding yourself of that and that you are in survival mode right now.

Hello folks - just had ds2 weighed - dipped slightly off the 50% line so feel guilty about that too! Maybe it is because Irefused to feed him when he woke at 2.30am.......GUILT!

Anyway hv suggests a better routine would be had by introducing more bottles?? are they supposed to say this!? To be honest i think I stumped her as I am doing what i should be - he just doesn't need as much sleep.

I may try to top him up tonight but really dont feel this is the problem - next stop Gina Ford?????

Forget the weight dip, and I definately wouldn't recommend topping him up. Just feed him when he demands it for the next few days.

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Me too - feeling like I'm just not doing it right. I think hv was desperate to suggest something as everything she said - I'm already doing so she decided extra bottles as an option. he tends to sleep longer after a b/f anyway so I'll try to stick with that tonight.
Good luck to all us sleepless mommas!

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Its like a little alarm clock goes off in him exactly at 4 hours - gave a bottle this time to speed it up and he went back off fro 3 hours ....musn't grumble!

My Mum reckons c is cold..

AHHHHHH. now I understand having read the other thread - I wondered what nonsense is this? DOnt think m is cold but quashed maybe as he is still in his moses basket - cosy!

That should be squashed!

Hughsie, have you tried putting him to sleep in a cot or in your bed rather than the moses basket? My ds and dd hated the moses basket and would always wake up screaming shortly after I put them down. Ds lasted a few weeks in it. Dd only lasted a few days. I think it's because the mattress is too thin.

I second the cot idea H. Awful night - every 2 hours for one thing and antother
dh has the right dsea being in S africa!

Terrible night for us too - dh offered to give a bottle when he woke - only lasted 3 hours but some drunken teenagers decided to play with the ladders and run around the builders stuff at 2am and kindly rang the doorbell too - dh pased ds2 to me and left in the car - I told him not too as you hear such dreadful stories of people getting attacked whilst protecting their property - anyway he only followed them to see where they lived - more in case they came back another night or there was any damage - by tthe time we eventually got back to bed ds2 woke at 5am for more nosh. I could hardly stay awake so am in bad mood today with stiff back as well as throughly p**sed off about the horrible teenagers. dh has diplomatically taken the boys for a walk to give me some 'space' - no sense of humour today!

Hope you have a better night tonight Hughsie. Ds went a bit longer last night, about 11 pm until 4 am although he stirred just after 3 am, I left him and he settled himself off for a bit. Just when you think they getting better though, last evening ds was v unsettled, first time for about 2 weeks, also his lunchtime nap today wasn't very good. I suppose it could be 6 weeks growth spurt. I thought I would be so much more laid back with ds being a second child, but in a way I'm even more anxious because I keep comparing his progress with dd and worrying if he doesn't match milestones etc.

Know exactly what you mean Melly - you expect them to behave in a certain way just like child one. My problem is also that I cant remember when ds1 did things and am inclined to remember the good bits. I did keep a bit of a sleep diary but only every 10 days or so to record the pattern but when i do think back I'm sure there were the odd few nights where he wasn;t so good and I was probably too tired to write a diary!

We had a strange nught but better in a way - he slept from 7.30 pm - dh and I fell asleep on the sofa and ds2 woke at 1 - so had slept longer - back off by 2 and awake at 5.15. At least I got some more sleep - bit surreal though - the cat woke me at about 10pm for a feed too - they all want a piece of mummy!!!!
No nocturnal visitors - so that was better

H thats fantastic! Mine stayed awake in the evening for the 1st time in 2 weeks. grr,but was chortling the whole time!

hope hes asleep toniught have mate coming over. He then did 845 to 1- 2 ish and then till 520 am for a cuddle

ps what did your husband DO to the rowdies?!!

Glared at thenm menacingly (sp?)!

Hi all, how's everyone doing. My ds slept from 7 pm last evening until 2.30 am this morning....now how come he did that?? I just don't get it. If I wake him at 10.15 pm or there abouts, he still wakes at about 3 am sometimes going until nearer 4 am. So, he's obviously capable of doing a longer stretch (7.5) hours but as yet hasn't done it after the late feed. I know quite a few people who have followed GF, but found waking baby for the last feed a real pain, either because they didn't want to stay up late or because they were very difficult to wake, and their babies have sort of skipped that bit and eventually gone through from 7 pm to 7 am. Interesting......don't know what to do tonight, am tempted not to wake him for late feed and see what happens.

Melly - well done - that's great - you just need to shift it to a more convenient time now!! Mine was slightly better - 9.30 - 2.30 so stretched to 5 hours - that'll do me if it only means one get up but unfortunately I cant get him to go back off for long afte that feed - only about 2-3 hours at most and then he is in bed with me and I am holding the dummy in once he has stopped feeding.

I know what you mean about wondering what to do with them the next night - i worry about that but he seems to dictate his own pattern even when it looks like it will be different! - bless them - they take over your world!