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Sleep

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Original poster

bedtime procrastinations in toddlers ... AAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

66 replies

mummylonglegs · 05/05/2005 22:06

Dd's 2 1/2 and a truly lovely child. She still naps in the day at about 1.30pm and I wake her after an hour. She goes off to sleep for this nap with no problem, I think she'd sleep longer if I left her. The problem is with going to bed at night. She's tired, we have a very good relaxing bedtime routine and she's fine until it comes to her lying down in the cot. First off she wants a wee (I've kind of sorted this one by getting her to do a wee immediately before she gets in), then a drink, then we spend hours getting her favourite toy at the perfect angle under her arm plus her blanket tucked in exactly right. If I get fed up and just go she gets hysterical and it takes even longer to settle her. I end up going back into her 5-10 times after I initially leave her in her room and she's often ending up not going to sleep until after 9pm so is also very tired the next morning.

Any ideas? I know this is a common toddler thing ...

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ionesmum · 09/05/2005 11:00

What about waking her from her nap after 45 mins or so?

Original poster

mummylonglegs · 09/05/2005 11:32

You're a mind-reader im, that's just what I've been thinking. I've already reduced it to 1 1/2 hours lately and been trying to get her down earlier, before 1.30pm, but I think 1-2pm might just do the trick!

Now I've just got to tackle her OCD!!!

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kmumed · 09/05/2005 12:07

DD, also 21/2, specialises in bedtime procrastination too - wanting mummy then daddy, then a drink etc etc etc. We started using stickers last week and they have really helped - a sticker for staying in bed and going to sleep on her own that is removed if one of us has to sit with her or some other such activity. Another one is given the following morning if she did indeed stay in her bed. Nursery are also great as there are a few in the same boat - there is nothing like getting a sticker there too.
She still has a 1hr nap at nursery at 12.30/1pm ish most weekdays with similar at weekends and while we have considered stopping this she is so tired when she gets home that evenings are no fun either. She is generally in bed by 7.30, though actually being asleep can take another hr.
We try to put some of the procrastination down to her being able to vocalise so much more - and wow can she at times, having just moved to pants in the day and all that means to little people (and big), but then reckon that she is just 21/2 and what else did we really expect!!
We have found though that staying calm and quiet whenever she is out of bed, wanting attention etc, and not sounding annoyed and fed up with her behaviour, does really help - as does the sticker removal threat.
It is getting better and procrastination time shorter.
Good luck to all in these endeavours - good to know others are in the same boat though - iyswim!

ionesmum · 09/05/2005 12:10

I found the OCD just disappeared one day with dd1!

Original poster

mummylonglegs · 09/05/2005 12:58

kmumed, thanks for your reply. Interestingly, this all started with dd when she was recently potty trained, 2 months or so ago. She's always been a complete chatterbox so no change there however! I've been making little adjustments like after bath, story, final wee, we now sit together on her story chair with the light off and we go through in minute detail what we've done in the day which she absolutely loves. She calls it 'mummy talking about all the things of the day' and now even asks me to do it in the daytime when she's upset over something! Anyway, that seemed to have helped but then last night just went on forever again. 'I want to sleep this way', so we tuck her in, get all the various things in place, say goodnight, I get to the door and a little voice says 'mum? can I sleep this way instead?' and on it goes over and over. She's generally so good natured about it I find it hard to think of 'punishing' her. But I do get tired and frustrated that my evenings are getting shorter and shorter.

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ionesmum · 09/05/2005 20:27

mll, maybe it's just a transitional phase? With our dd1 it was her bath, everything had to be just so even to the number of times her teeth were brushed.

Orinoco · 09/05/2005 21:51

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Original poster

mummylonglegs · 09/05/2005 21:52

You're probably right, im, I'm not going to get really stressed about it, I've got to just learn a new method of dealing with bedtimes I think. Tonight wasn't too bad actually I only got recalled once for a 'proper kiss on my TWO lips' !!!

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ionesmum · 09/05/2005 22:15

Oh, orinoco and mll, you both sound like you have two adorable dds!

Orinoco · 09/05/2005 22:21

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ionesmum · 10/05/2005 10:32

So do you fancy borrowing my bfeeding-to-sleep 13 mo old????????? She has a lovely set of teeth...

Original poster

mummylonglegs · 10/05/2005 14:20

They are ADORABLE. And in an odd way, im, I would have your b/f-to-sleep one just for the pleasure of b/f again for a week! Don't think she'd get much joy from my breasts now though .

Things have been better here. I've been using my firm-but-kind mummy-means-business tone and so far it's working plus gentle bribery like 'if you don't go to sleep and have a proper rest we won't be able to do such-and-such in the morning / afternoon' etc.

I think the fact that they're so adorable is what makes it so hard to refuse the requests for endless kisses and arrangements of blankets! Dd has 1 toy under her arm, one in her hand, a hanky (in case she gets a runny nose!!) in her other hand and her blanket perfectly before I even get to the stage of reaching for the door handle.

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Orinoco · 10/05/2005 20:32

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Original poster

mummylonglegs · 10/05/2005 21:51

Hi Orinoco! I used to love the wombles as a child. I liked Wellington the best if I remember. There was one called Wellington wasn't there?

All quiet here too. Dd went off with not a single procrastination tonight but it was quite late and we had a very busy day and I kept her sleep to just over an hour. She did start talking very excitedly in the cot about something to do with Big Ears (her hero, second only to him comes Father Christmas - what is it with older white-bearded men???) but I said 'shhh ... we'll talk about it in the morning' and it worked!

How are you guys doing?

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collision · 10/05/2005 21:56

Have you tried reverse psychology?

Routine etc and then 'I know you are not tired so I dont want you to go to sleep. I just want you to lie down and close your eyes but you must NOT sleep. I will come back in a minute and check.'

Worked for us!

Orinoco · 10/05/2005 22:02

Message withdrawn

ionesmum · 10/05/2005 22:34

Hi! Glad things seem to be working out. I'm getting broody and I'm still bfeeding, don't know what's the matter with me! We have just had a real drama, I had to call out the paramedics to dd2 as she split her lip and our car is in for repair. There was so much blood, and the poor little mite looks like a boxer at the post-fight press conference! She has torn her fenellum (the stringy bit in the middle of her inside top lip) but is otherwise fine, and has just gone fast asleep after a big milky feed. The paramedic guy was fab. I hope that normal service will be resumed tomorrow i.e coming downstairs to watch the Tweenies at 10 o'clock!!!!!

Dh loves the Wombles too, he keeps forcing dd1 to watch it! Anyone else like Noggin on NickJnr? I actually found dd1's fondness for Maisy a big help in teaching her to settle on her own, she had a big Maisy doll that she needed to look after for Mummy! Now poor maisy is sadly out of favour.

Orinoco · 10/05/2005 22:39

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jasper · 10/05/2005 23:05

mine are 6,4,3. Share a room. It's a nightmare .

Original poster

mummylonglegs · 11/05/2005 10:54

Oh, IM, poor dd2. Actually my dd did just the same thing at about the same age by coincidence. I was on my way home and dp called me on my mobile in hysterics about all the blood and I could hear dd screaming in the background. She was sore for a good week or so and it still hadn't ever completely reattached. How's your dd this morning?

I do remember Noggin the Nog if that's what you mean? We only have terrestrial t.v. here so don't get to see it. It was my favourite programme when i was little.

And so, orinoco, do you feel like a womble?! I remember someone on my members profile once asking if I was a 'womble' but I can't remember why now, maybe I'll try to resurrect it. It's got a cute pic of me and dd on it if anyone's interested!

collision, nope, haven't tried that, I'm too frightened it'll backfire!

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ionesmum · 11/05/2005 17:00

She's absolutely fine, now, thanks, mll. although Mummy is still a bit shaky! Her lip looks sore but she is her usual self, but I've been hovering behind her all day long, I must be driving her mad!

Noggin is an hour of vintage children's tv after NIckJnr has finished for the day, they have Bagpuss and Ivor the engine etc., it's a real nostalgia fest but the things we used to love look so creaky now!

ionesmum · 11/05/2005 17:02

Fogot to say, mll, the blood is terrifying. The paramedic said her fenellum won't fully heal, so I'm ready for that. Glad your dd was okay!

redheadmum · 11/05/2005 20:38

MML - at last found yr post!
Dd doing her very own form of procrastination. Tonight was better, but last night a nightmare.

At the mo doing the firm and boring routine, as I know she's just testing out what she can and can't do.

bit of a nightmare as I really look forward to a bit of peace at the end of a day......

btw have you seen my post MLL re: kidneys?

Orinoco · 11/05/2005 21:12

Message withdrawn

Original poster

mummylonglegs · 11/05/2005 21:46

Hello rhm. More info on your dd's procrastinations please! We're getting to be experts here ... Will check out your kidney post too. I'm guessing it's on 'health'?

Oh, dear, Orinoco. What happened? Mine only settled at 8,45pm tonight too. Big worries abounded about the exchange of a toy tomorrow with a friend. Their little worlds are so small and yet so all-encompassing to them aren't they?

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