polite replies please

[mogwai]

A little while ago, I started a thread asking whether it was ok to put a new baby in a full sized cot. I am thinking of putting the baby in it's own room, but wasn't asking for an opinion on that at the time, just asking about the cot.

Unfortunately, the thread turned a bit weird and I was slated by some mumsnetters and actually called "cruel" by one mother because I am planning for my baby to be in it's own bedroom as soon as possible. It was even suggested that there was an increased risk of cot death if my baby couldn't smell me and rather than being supported by more experienced mothers, I felt there was a tone of "huh, we know better than you, don't be ridiculous"..

I'm still interested in the topic and would like to hear from anyone whose baby has slept in their own room. Did you put them into a cot from the early days and how did it work out for you?

I do not want to get involved in further debate about whether this makes me a cruel mother, thanks all the same, so please don't post if this is your agenda. I am by no means a cruel mother, just a pragmatist and light sleeper with a husband who works long hours and also needs his rest. Interested in your experiences.

I would prefer to see the data with other risk factors removed - such as smoking parents, parents who regularly drink in the evening and babies with identified cardio-respiratory disease.

Not all scientific reports are gold standard. SIDS is a hot topic and will almost always receive media attention, no matter how poor the study is. Medics publish some of the worst papers I have seen.

It is interesting to note cultural differences between the US and UK. Just from my experience (no stats to quote or anything) it seems more common here to put babe in a regular baby bed/crib in his or her own room immediately. We did go with the co-sleeper for 6 months, but I sometimes wonder about that decision. We woke up constantly and whipped ds out of bed for a feeding at the slightest indication he was awake. He was a terrible sleeper until he was a year old and is still not one of the best. I am curious at to whether we got him into the habit of frequent waking. Of course, one never knows about these things. It's just one of many topics a parent can use for mental torture!

Our daughter slept in her own full-sized cot - but in our room - from the day she came home from hospital. She absolutely HATED being swaddled or confined in any way. She abhorred the tiny plastic cot in hospital and would kick, wave her arms and shriek in the Moses basket. The moment we laid her in the cot, however, she was happy as Larry.

Hi Mogwai, not sure if anyone answered your question about sensor pad monitors. We used this

OOps - meant to say we used this Hi Sense monitor.

It does work under a big cot (foam rubber) mattress - unlike what another poster on this thread said (they may have been talking of another brand of monitor, though). The sensor pad senses the motion of baby breathing. If they stop breathing, there is no motion. If they do not start again within 15 or 20 seconds, an alarm sounds. There is no need to "check" on the baby, as the monitor does it for you.

Our DS slept in his own room from one week (he was too noisey and kept us awake). We used the sensor monitor and are convinced that it saved his life. One morning it went off at about 3am. He had stopped breathing and was blue by the time I got there. He started breathing shortly after I picked him up.