Gina Ford Contented Little Baby - please can I have your opinions/experiences

[Jack2601]

I have posted another thread on here very recently due to nightmare night times and touched on this, but thought I would start a new one as am desperate for replies.

After almost losing the plot this morning after a week of little/no sleep due to DS not settling at all between 7pm and 7am I have decided that I am going to give the Gina Ford routine a bash.

My DS is 10 weeks old (although 3 corrected) because he was 7 wks prem. He has gained weight brilliantly and now weighs around 7lb (getting him weighed 'officially' on Tuesday). I am going to start at the 2-3 weeks old baby routine due to corrected age and I would really like to hear your experiences or opinions. I know that it is not for every baby, but I am so shattered I want to at least give it a try.

Thanks for reading.

Jack

I feel for you, the first weeks with a new baby can be hellish if they won't settle. It does get better! GF, imo which is the same as many others', is a useful guide, but it takes a few weeks for the routines to slot into place and you should only attempt to follow them loosely and never get upset if your baby refuses to cooperate.

After the first nightmarish eight weeks or so, d1 became a dream sleeper, which I attributed to GF. Now I realise she's just a child who needs lots of zzs and would have slept regardless of a routine.

Sadly, her ds, who did the same routines is not a natural sleeper. I think Gina got her into as good a pattern as could be expected but at 22 months she never has done naps well and, though she slept through the night from reasonably early, always woke and still wakes very early, which is hellish.

Nothing in the GF canon can tackle this, whatever she may promise. Anyway, do it but if it doesn't work out just abandon it. Good luck.

Oh please, please don't GF him, at least not yet. He is so small. Its such a short time (really really) in the scheme of things that they are like this and if you can just find the strength just to be and hold him and go with him for a few more weeks it will get better. They really just need you and milk for as long as you can manage. You have the capacity to adapt and cope and recover, he doesn't need to do that just yet - he has a lifetime of having to cope ahead.

The tips from GF and elsewhere that helped us (but this is from 4 months onwards, not before - they really aren't "trainable" before this and what looks like a contented baby is at this age one who has given up or was going to do it anyway) were that: they can't stay awake more that 2 hrs for ages (DD2 at 10 months can only now really do 3), that they need to nap quietly and frequently and that they need feeding all the time and that "colic" in the evenings is often exhaustion - even if this means a "bedtime" of 5:30 for a while. There is a lot of new evidence about attachment and brain development in this v early stage that means the GF methods of leaving them to cry at this age is really not great. That said, at 6 months the routines she suggests are not too bad (though her methods of achieving them - crying down etc I could not advocate) and are actually pretty close to what many babies do anyway (early nap around 9am, after lunch nap, short nap late afternoon and a 6:30 bedtime).

We threw the book out first time round because it seemed v harsh and prescriptive, but I actually bought it again this time - just for the sleep amounts and milk amounts info and found it gentler than I remembered - has it been much revised in the last 5 years or perhaps I am more confident to know when she is just wrong about me and my baby? Also she really doesn't have the answers and for things like early waking (which I would say almost everyone goes through at some point between birth and 6 - years that is!) its a total cop out and she basically blames you for doing something wrong in earlier months!

Some little babies just dont' sleep for very long and its exhausting, but out of your whole life its only 2 to 6 months.

Good luck.I'm sure that you will work out something that works for him and that you can bear.

BQ - I think the book has been heavily revised in recent years. So people who read early versions hate the idea about leaving your child to cry while you close the door. People who've read editions from the last couple of years don't know what we are talking about.

That book made me cry, I thought it was impossible. It works for lots of people though

Totally agree with badgerqueen, the book has been much revised and is way softer now than only four years ago when I bought it. Also she is a total cop out on early waking and many other issues, I should know!

The GF website is hilarious, I've never seen the full content as you need to pay something ridiculous like £90pa to join but it's full of faqs like "my baby has started waking every day at 6.55am, what can do I to stop this?" I think believers think GF can solve everything including global warming, world economy etc etc.

depends what type your baby is, mine would never fit into any routine and developed her own over 4 months. Saying that you could give ford a try for a week, it cant hurt. One thing that did work from fords book for me was waking her up to feed at 10pm, she then slept through, until i weaned her, now i no longer wake her to feed and she sleeps through from 7 til 7. but that didnt happen til she was 7 months. sleep deprivation is a killer!

I would say don't try it. Your little one is too small and particularly as he is premature, he will give you all the cues. I tried GF with my first and it was exhausting and demoralising for me and dd. I may try it when ds is older (only 8 weeks) but he is doing fine by himself (fast asleep since 7.30! ) so we'll see...

Can only echo what other ppl have posted, my ds would never have fitted into GF routines and I ruined a lot of his early days worrying about it. I read lots of books, got very confused and was constantly anxious that he "should" be sleeping or feeding at a certain time. I had PND (undiagnosed for ages) and an unsupportive now ex-dp, and I look back on that first year with such sadness that I wasted all those lovely baby days worrying. People say that the baby hasn't read the book, even if you have, and they are right. If it doesn't work for you, don't do it. Don't beat yourself up. Your LO is so young and will not be a baby for long. My ds is now 2.6 and still does not sleep through the night reliably, but I have accepted that having a baby and now a toddler means that your life is going to be different for a while. I won't say anyhing rude about GF but I did say to ex-dp that the way he went on, he should really have had a dog, not a baby.
be kind to yourself.

he's so little, i think you could cut him some slack. understand that you're completely exhausted, have definitely been there. is there someone who can give you a hand? hold him while you have a nap/meal/shower?
the only thing that got me through was carrying ds in a sling all day and then he used to sleep ON us at night waking every 1 1/2 hours for a feed. it was dreadfully hard, but slowly slowly it passes. you get through and so do they.
all the best and lots of strength to you. sleep deprivation is so hard, but just not convinced that ms ford would make your life any easier, sorry. xx

Well I never.......... maybe it was the thought of a routine or maybe ds knows all about GF, has decided he doesn't like her and decided to settle himself before I could really get cracking with any kind of a routine after we started it at the weekend..... basically he seems to be on a 3 hourly feeding pattern during the day. Has been having a bath and bottle at around 7ish, and then feed at 11ish..............and for the past couple of nights he has woken between 2 and 3, and then after 6am...... but is totally settled in between!! Now that I can cope with for now!! Clever little tinkers aren't they these babies!! Maybe it will continue to get better, maybe it won't, who knows. Last week was horrendous and this week has been totally different, I also seem to have enjoyed being a mum more - that might be down to having a bit more sleep, or it might just be me relaxing a bit and in turn ds has relaxed a bit.

We shall see what next week brings!!

that's great news jack, may it long continue. that's a really great pattern for a baby of his age.