Gina Ford Contented Little Baby - please can I have your opinions/experiences

[Jack2601]

I have posted another thread on here very recently due to nightmare night times and touched on this, but thought I would start a new one as am desperate for replies.

After almost losing the plot this morning after a week of little/no sleep due to DS not settling at all between 7pm and 7am I have decided that I am going to give the Gina Ford routine a bash.

My DS is 10 weeks old (although 3 corrected) because he was 7 wks prem. He has gained weight brilliantly and now weighs around 7lb (getting him weighed 'officially' on Tuesday). I am going to start at the 2-3 weeks old baby routine due to corrected age and I would really like to hear your experiences or opinions. I know that it is not for every baby, but I am so shattered I want to at least give it a try.

Thanks for reading.

Hi, do give it a try. It worked for me with ds at about 3 weeks old and we have never looked back. do take it as a guide and try not to get to stressed about it. good luck

I've read GF cover to cover.I know exactly what she says and no,it doesn't put the baby first.It subscribes to the modern assumption that a baby is to be controlled and manipulated and made to fit into what suits an adult, more specifically older first time parents who have no idea what parenting entials as their own baby is quite possible the first they have ever held.

Having said that, of course it's all kanckering and hard word but there are way around this that do not involve making someone rich.

Parts of it worked for me.

I had no idea that my screaming baby was actually knackered and wanted to sleep.

There was I rocking, changing, feeding etc. The GF book sussed out when he would be naturally tired and gave me the confidence to put him in his cot awake (something we never did with my first baby, dd.)

but surely sleeping at night and being awake in the day is what suits all human beings - why are babies the exception to this?

lots of talk about how bad night shifts are for the workers health and mental well being. - why is it such an odd idea that babies should be gently encouraged to do their sleeping at the optimum time and the time when the vast majority of the human population are sleeping.

OP the current guidelines by the the FSIDS among others is that all babies should sleep in their main carer's room till they are at least 6 months old.

this guideline is especially important for babies who are born before 37 wks as they are statistically at higher risk of SIDS.

I don't mean to scare you. Just passing on relevant info which Gina Ford's book does not sufficiently address.

Er onnie, it may have something to do with them having stomachs the size of walnuts as newborns.They need to be fed little and often ,unlike an adult.

You comment shows you are a product of the myths peddled about babies in our times.

How on earth can a book 'suss out' when your baby is tired?

Think about it, it's patent nonsense.

Babies are absolutely knackering, cant see how you can get round that.

a more suitable place will be to put your baby in the moses in the same bed with you. this way you can respond to his twitchings before they become cries.

there may not be space for 3 of you in the bed with the basket in there but that is what early parenting can be like.

hth

I tried the GF method for about a day and then slung the book in the bin.

I am sure it suits some babies - i.e. not very strong willed ones. And it will suit some mothers i.e. super organised and very efficient.

However, the OPs baby is tiny and it goes with the territory at that age to have knackered parents and lack of sleep.

Even old Gina herself (in her newer editions) doesn't recommend sleep training until 6 months.

Oh, and your baby should (according to govt guidelines) be in his parents' room until 6 months old.

Jack2601 - are you trying to establish a bedtime? Personally I think you will be on a hiding to nothing trying to get your baby to sleep in a moses basket/cot at this age.

In the evening have you/DH tried just sitting cuddling him on your chest after a feed?

For me there was nothing nicer than cuddling a sleeping baby. It doesn't spoil them, it makes them secure.

Is he swaddles or does he have his hands out. Do you bath him in the evening? If so, switch it to the morning because some babies get unsettled. If not, then try it because some babies feel relaxed after a bath.

Do you have a baby massage class close to you? Baby massage can be useful too.

Even though you are bottle feeding, skin-to-skin contact is very calming for a baby. It is very important for a prem baby.

listen to mears. she knows -a- -thing- -or- -two- a lot about babies.

To support what mears says, DS responded well to being swaddled for a sleep and also would sleep well 'kangaroo style' - tucked inside DH's dressing gown with just his head poking out - chest-to-chest sleeping.

have you thought about reading other baby 'manuals' and seeing which may suit/help you the best? I sort of did the baby whisperer, but not to the letter (couldn't do GF - too prescriptive and would have ended up with me and a baby in tears). reading books though did me some confidence in myself and was able to leave DS to cry for very short periods (after which he would fall asleep) in the evening when he was knackered.

if you search the sleep threads you'll find loads of advice on other books etc to go to for some advice if youwant it.

charliegal parts of it worked for me as I said. GF gave me a framework...is that better than 'suss'? When I was knackered and clueless it gave me pointers. Sorry if thats not what you want to hear!

Sorry to have caused a bit of a stir on here, really didn't mean to.

I did put a message on to clarify that DS isn't 3 weeks old, he is 10 weeks old but was 7 weeks prem so is 3 weeks corrected. I'm not after some quick fix to getting DS sleeping right the way through, I am aware that he is tiny and needs regular feeds (although since he came out of SCBU and since he has been home he has got himself into a 3/4hourly routine.)
What I am trying to do is get DS to settle more initially at bedtime and also settle after his night feeds. It isn't a case that we feed and shove him in his moses basket, we feed and then cuddle him until he is drowsy and then put him in.

I think for those of you who have used GF and it worked, it appears you followed the idea of it (eg nap times/feed times) as oppoised to religiously following it to the letter. I may do that, which, looking on it during the day isn't that different to what DS is doing himself, it is just the early evening feed and bath that we are doing different - doing that surely can't have an adverse effect on him can it?

i did the gina ford routine with baby still in my room - no reason not to really

and it's not about getting baby to sleep through the night really - thats a by-product of following the routine but more about ensuring baby is well fed and well rested. I have had a few instances of baby being too tired to feed and too hungry to sleep and that is not nice for parents and baby

if baby wakes in the night you feed them - same as most parents do.....it's the daytime you structure to give baby best chance of being well nourished and now overly tired to sleep slightly heavier in the njight.

I didnt follow the timing exactly - but I did start the day at 7am regardless of how the night had been. I found my babies generally slept more and fed less than the book suggests and the split feed at 5/6.30 never worked well for me but I adapted it to suit me and MY BABY.

This isn't about being brain washed or being a control freak or wanting baby to fit in with my needs and wants or thinking they were a machine.....it was about making sure the status quo was maintained. I found with a little structure I new what the cry meant and could respond appropriately.

None of my children were left to cry in the night or anytime ever tbh. I didn't have to resort to drastic measures 2 years down the lone because I had a child that still woke in the night. I put that down to a little gently guidance in the early days.

Jack2610 - I appreciate his age - 10 weeks is still young.

Some babies are unsettled with baths at night. He doesn't need one every night so see what he is like without it.

Why not let him sleep lying on you for a while before putting him down. He may then sleep for longer. Babies do not need to be awake going to bed. I always fed mine or cuddles them to sleep before putting them down. None of my 4 children had sleep issues.

Babies can be notorious at this age for unsettled evenings. They usually change around the 3-4 month mark.

Bathing at night can be unsettling for some babies. He won't need bathed every night so see how he is without one.

Try just letting him sleep on you for a while before putting him down. You said you put him in the basket drowsy. I know there is a theory that babies should go to bed awake to settle themselves but ofetn you find they wake themselves up.

I fed/cuddled my 4 children to sleep and none of them had sleep issues.

Evenings are notoriously bad at this age. It tends to get better between 3-4 months.

Do you have a DH or partner? Take it in truns to get some sleep. There is no need for you both to be shattered.

Are you getting any rest during the day?

Mothers get exhausted because they do not catch up on any sleep during the day when they have the opportunity.

To me it is best to look at ways of getting more sleep yourself that trying to get a baby into some kind of sleep pattern which might be nigh impossible. Very frsutrating all round.

oops - thought i lost my last post hence the semi-repeat

I picked things out of it which really did help wehn i was a clueless new parent like i was - now i am much older and wiser and use mumsnet

I could never do the waking at 7 thing when i was exhausted from the night!

The only thing I would say was don't take anything you read to heart too much. I think many baby books can put the fear of God into you. I read GF when pregnant with my first child (I was accosted in a pub loo when 6 months pregnant by two mums of 3 month olds who were 'sleeping through the night' and they told me too read it), thought it didn't sound like something I could do but thought the sleep advice sounded reasonable - when DS arrived I used to feel guilty if I cuddled him whilst he was sleeping, feeding too frequently etc. So I got all the stress of following the routines but without any of the benefit.

You know you and your baby best. if you think you both would benefit from following a routine then you should give it a go. Why don't you try for a week then post again and we can all give you our thoughts on how it sounds like its going for you?!?

I know it doeasn't work for everyone, but for some (me included!) it was a godsend. I had no idea what I was meant to be doing when DD1 was born and I quickly found that working loosly to the GF routines worked absolute wonders. Chaos and crying (DD1 and me!!) became order and DD1, myself and DH ALL became a whole lot happier. With a small amount of encouragement DD1 eased into the routine by the time she was 5 or 6 weeks old and we never looked back.

That said, I found her style of writing extremely irritating, and I think it does put people's backs up. I would also say I used it more as a guide than sticking to it religiously. Also DD1 would often have her main lunchtime nap out and about in the pram (with a black pashmina draped over it as a black out) and DD2 usually had her morning nap in a sling or the buggy - you can follow the suggested nap times without necessarily being confined to the house.

I would suggest you read the book through then focus on the section dedicated to routine timings. For a few days take a note of feed / nap times for your little one then look at the age corrected routine she suggests and start trying to guide your little one towards it - you might find (as I did) that it all starts slotting into place after a week or so of tweaking a feed time here or a nap time there.

I was AMAZED at how it worked with both my DDs, the timings just seemed to suit them and as such we had very little crying or fussing - just very happy smiley cuddly babies.

I would never leave a hungry baby screaming by the way - I just found it didn't really happen on her routines. I'd say that when trying to get the girls into the routine I worked first around the nap timings and the feeds just followed on from that.

some loose rule about not letting them stay awake more than 2 hrs when under 6 months helped me realise why dd was gettin radged..

are we even allowed to mention gf? is that not like fruit shoots and sausage rolls? Or am I going to get in trouble for saying that?

My SIL followed GF to the letter, and has 3 smashing, well behaved kids to show for it, so I presumed I would do the same thing when I had babies. WRONG.

I was dying to get my hands on the book, but when I did I just thought the style and attitude and instruction didn't suit me (I've - ahem - edited my post a little bit here ). Not for me after all. So I took a look at the Baby Whisperer and preferred her style, and soon enough realised that many babies follow similar patterns and both books can give you a hint as to when your lo needs a sleep (ie 2 hours after waking and it's rubbing it's eyes and yawning). Some tips work well, and some don't. They should be used as a guide and not the rules (which GF feels a bit like). There's nothing worse than reading about a method of sleep training or a time table that is promised to WORK when your lo isn't cooperating, and it's all gone WRONG. I don't think you need that. You want guidance and encouragement. So by all means read the book, but take a look at a few others and pick the bits that suit you, and your lo.

But having said that - it has worked wonders for my SIL!