Support thread for those who were under the misguided illusion that their DC would sleep through by six mo - come and join!

[arthymum]

Did you assume that your DC would be sleeping through by the time they were 6 mo - and now you've hit the milestone you realise you were wrong, wrong, wrong as you stagger out of bed 1, 2, 3 times a night?

Do you sometimes can't help but wonder if you'd done things differently (BF/FF/stuck with the dreamfeed/co-slept/put them in their own cot/followed a GF routine/listened to your MIL ) you'd be getting more sleep?

Do you sometimes dread meeting up with other mums with perfect sleepers (especially when said babies are way younger and tinier than yours)?

Are you in a permanent state of confusion and doubt about whether to 'try' something or not (CC, ssh-patt, PUPD, NCSS etc.) but feel it's never the right time (teething, cold, too young) and not sure anyway whether you have the bottle/energy to see it through?

Do you hold out faint hopes that they'll sleep better when they're on solids/when the teeth come through/when they're another pound heavier/when they're in the new gro-bag/when they're on more solids - and each time - wrong again?

Do you mostly cope okay but every now and then feel tired and miserable and sorry for yourself and burst into tears at the postman or get into a petulant fight in Sainsbury's?

Do you secretly fear that you'll be on here in 3 years time, posting about the fact that you haven't slept for nearly 4 years?

Then come and join me! I've seen you lurking on other threads but feel that we need a place to congregate. Share your tears, tantrums, triumphs and tips - and hopefully one by one, we can all eventually disappear off the thread and into the land of nod....

arti fab news, glad you are getting your lives back.

last night was probably the best we've ever had - ds asleep by 8pm (we've not moved his bedtime with the clock change in the hopes he will wake up at 6 or 7am NOT 5!) then woke for a feed at 1am (wow!) then woke up chortling at 6am (double wow!). 2 x 5hours continuous sleep = a happy mummy . I finished decorating the hall and went swimming, I really feel my energy returning. Hope I've not jinxed it!

Simnel & Arti, really fabulous news! Arti: it does sound like your DS has (at the moment) quite a regular, good sleep pattern. You're very right about doing happy things, going out, having fun... I know the tiredness prevents us from doing things or even making plans, but now that things are improving so much yes, go for it!

Babyphat: thanks for the encouragement. It's great to hear your baby is doing so well sleep-wise! I hope you're right and bad sleep is just a phase (for most babies it is) but I also have to say that for some babies it can become worse actually, not better. It really depends on what the sleep problem consists of, what the overall situation is etc.

Just popping back in case you've all got the impression I am absent because my DS has learned to sleep through the night...or take proper naps instead of 30 minute snoozes...allow me to disabuse you of that notion right now.

Cyteen sorry to hear that. I had assumed that you were smugly slumbering away after his sleeping through breakthrough. Are you getting up to feed him or resettling without?

Back to two feeds here for the last few nights and after the 4am one we have an hour of random party time! Still trying to remain upbeat though [rubbing bloodshot eyes emoticon]. Dreamed last night that he woke up with all his teeth through, even the molars! Wishful thinking or perhaps a premonition...

I haven't read the thread but will offer my support. DS1 slept through (7-7) at 12 weeks and DS2 at two and a half. Absolute nightmare. In fact, my fear of having a nother bad sleeper is partly what persuaded me to stop at two.

I do think that cutting out his dummy earlier might have speeded things up, with hindsight.

Huge sympathies to all on this thread. There is nothing worse than prolonged sleep deprivation. My system is still recovering now and DS2 is 4.5.

Thanks smugmum. Nice of you to stop by. Although I'm now slightly terrified at the thought of another two years, lol.

arti he's down to one feed in the night now, at around 4am usually, which is fine with me he'll still wake around midnight but is fairly easily settled with shushing or a dummy.

so nights are generally fine, it's his daytime sleeps that worry me. as you know he's always been a bit rubbish but the last few days have been shocking - struggling to get even 15 minutes at a time out of him and he has been so worn out all day however, he woke up last night with a horrible croupy cough and there's been lots of ear-rubbing, so i suspect illness might be to blame. a trip to the quacks tomorrow, methinks.

perhaps not the best night for him to go into his own room but hey ho! the cot is up so we shall see what tonight brings...

btw i have had that teeth dream a few times, it's very disturbing isn't it?

FFS. 20 minutes' worth of settling for a 20 minute nap. This is driving me insane.

Cyteen - that sounds very wearing. Has he always been a bad napper? Is it any better in a pushchair or car (not that you want to be pushing/driving him round the block 3 times a day)?

I guess you're weaning him? DS has suddenly got much better at long naps since he starting eating solids. Have you got a Dr's appointment today?

Yes, he's always been crap but not usually this crap. 35-40 minutes is his normal length of nap, although I know he can go longer as evidenced earlier in this thread. He used to sleep longer in the pram but has stopped that too (I don't drive).

We are weaning and he is a most enthusiastic trougher eater - 3 meals a day plus lots of milk. I don't know what he does with it all as he's not exactly mobile - he's only rolled over twice.

No docs appt till tomorrow, not even for a little one.

Am fed up, although that's not really to do with him so much - this is a bad time of year for me.

Sorry to hear that Cyteen. Sometimes the crap days are worse that the crap nights IME - you just don't get a break do you? It's not teeth is it? That always scuppers naps here. Hopefully docs can rule out anything else.

Sending sleepy vibes to your DS and virtual cake to you.

Yeah bad days suck - at least DP is here to share in the bad nights Having said that, our nights are still pretty okay DS went in his own room last night and apart from being a little bit 'wtf?' at bedtime was quite normal - fed at midnight and 3.30am (we usually try and shush him at midnight but new room = need for more comfort).

cyteen that sounds a smooth transition to his new room, well done!

I have been doing things at night the other way round - feeding at midnight and shushing at 3 or 4. I'm hoping that will discourage him from waking at 3 or 4 although it's not worked yet

ds's naps are rubbish too now - 20 mins is about all he does. I have had to resort to taking him out in the car he's so tired but wont sleep, only whinges. Otherwise it's long walks but that doesnt always work now either.

Hmmm, DS was waking once at 4-5 and then it went to twice again when he got a tummy upset a week ago. Last night however he was back to once - slept throught to 4.30, hurrah! So I guess if he wakes at 1, I should shush him back to sleep. So easy to say that in the cold light of day, isn't it? So much more tempting to just give him a 10 minute feed in the dead of night! Here's hoping I won't have to make the choice tonight...

Cyteen and Simnel - how long does it take you to shush them back to sleep? DS is just so unpredictable [sigh].

I'm in too. My qualification for entry is that my 17month DD has not slept since she was 10 month. Infact this year I have had one week where she slept through every night.

I have worried about everything, napping too long, not long enough, eating enough, over stimulated before bed etc etc but now I feel like a great weight has been lifted as having read all the responses I realise I AM NOT ALONE and it is all perfectly normal.

iwannaberipvanwinkle if he's shushable, it usually works pretty quickly - say 10-15 minutes. Generally speaking, if he won't go off after about 20 minutes of concerted shushing, he's hungry and thus I will feed him (although like you I always end up giving in to temptation and offering the boob as a quick fix - DP is much better at shushing than me).

Once DS is properly settled in his room and is over this horrible cold he's got, we're going to go back to not feeding at the midnight wake-up (she says confidently ). DP has agreed to do the settling for these; hopefully DS will soon get the message. Thing is, I know he's not actually hungry at this point - I know he doesn't need the milk (except for e.g. when he has a cold and is really thirsty all the time) - so I'm happy to try and help him drop this feed in favour of a longer stretch of sleep

I fed ds at 00.20 last night as usual then we were woken by dp's alarm at 6.30am. I think this counts as sleeping through the night - woohoo. Sorry for those still suffering but this is the longest sleep we have all had for 7 months. I hope it's a sign of things to come...

iwbrvw re shushing ds, I usually give it 15-20 mins and if he still wont settle, I feed him. If I persevere longer than that, he may go to sleep but will wake up about an hour later so it's not worth it.

Simnel: great news!!! Hurray for sleeping so many hours.

Simnel - hurray!

Cyteen - we have joined you in the land of no-nap. After a crap night, he is in a proper grump. Teeth I think, dribble everywhere, constant biting. The house is a tip and my hair smells of puke but can't leave him to have a shower. Need to eat some breakfast so I have the energy to take him out in the pushchair but not sure I can endure ten minutes of screaming to eat it. One of those days.

Think his fangs are coming through which is why we have had weeks of this. I hate teeth.

Aw arti poor him and poor you If it makes you feel any better, your house can't possibly be as much of a slum as mine I don't dare invite anyone round, it's so grim.

DS came in with us last night as he woke up at 10pm all in a muddle - snotty, grotty, eye gummed shut, wet through his pyjamas, the works - and got a bit upset. We all slept better for it though Doc said he has got a bit of an ear infection so he's on the antibiotics from today.

Hope Baby Cyteen feels better soon. Re the house being a tip, my friend is coming round in an hour and I swear if he wants to sit in the living room he will actually have to make a nest out of all the cat hair.

Oh yes...the cat hair Isn't moulting season grand? Especially when it lasts all year.

Still, boycat did try and help my diet efforts earlier by licking the last piece of cake!

Oh Arti, good luck with the teething... it sounds pretty grim . My own DS- even though 8 & a half months- has no teeth whatsoever, and no teething to speak of so far. I dread the thought of what will happen when the teething starts. Our nights cannot get any worse as things stand.

News from us girls (still writing from Greece) is that things have gone from bad to worse, and I suppose our next steps (once we return to the UK) will have to be sleep training & dummy dithing It's simply impossible & unlivable to keep waking every 1-2 hours every single night. I also thing at this point that it's not good at all for our DS...

(well obviously I meant dummy ditching).

Yikes Maria that sounds intolerable. Poor you. I think you're right - it's not just about you and your DP, your DS will surely be much happier without waking up without dummy throughout the night. You must be dreading the ditching but I am sure it will be over quicker than you think and then hopefully life can resume for you all. Hope you're still enjoying your holiday in lovely Greece despite the bad nights.

Well DS and his fangs have had the grand total of 55 minutes sleep today and he's had a big glug of nurofen, so we're either in for the best or worst night's sleep...which way will it fall?...tune in tomorrow...