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Original poster

4-5 month olds sleep club, - come and join..........

685 replies

SnowlightMcKenzie · 06/02/2009 13:10

Hiya,

There have been so many threads lately about babies who were beginning to sleep better, but suddenly hitting this regression to newborn hell.

So I thought I would start a support thread for us all to compete whinge about how little sleep we are all getting, and tips on how to cope.

Baby Starlight was up just twice last night, but the previous night it was 6 times, and because of that I kept putting off going to bed at all last night, so even though it wasn't too bad, I still had hardly any sleep

OP posts:
sambo303triesforScotland · 08/02/2009 12:12

not such a good night here but I do find the weekends more difficult in terms of keeping to my routine of feeds/naps and I think I missed at least one feed yesterday - ds woke at 8.50pm and 11.15pm - I fed both times. Then he woke and it was dark and I checked my phone for the time - thought it said 6.20am, thought wow and fed ds - BUT it actually said 4.20am . Anyhoo, he was up crying at 6.20am weirdly. Was so tired I could not get up at 7 am so our routine today is all out.

We have started using the dummy but now dp puts it in ds's mouth all the time - ie when he goes for a day time nap. I am concerned that he will get used to and associate sleep with the dummy - I have always got him to sleep and nap reasonably successfully without, and often leave him awake and he goes to sleep by himself. Dp says it's easier just to put the dummy in and leave him without trying to see if he'll go to sleep anyway. I am not sure about this.

Plus, I have gone to check ds after a longish nap and he still has the dummy in his mouth, is it not supposed to fall out when they fall to sleep?

daisyblue · 08/02/2009 12:21

Howdy ladies
we had a much better night - dd slept form 9-1 (not had that stretch in a while) then she was up roughly every 2 hours until...9!! so i've had about 8 hours (albeit in 2hour stretches). Ch.choc - tried the earlier to bed thing and she went down like a DREAM!! then she sprung awake 20 mins later and wouldn't settle till 9 . How did you get on? Am determined to persevere tho -as finished NCSS last night and am about to start me new sleep plan (great book -really kind and natural way to help bubbas settle themselves).
I think good napping helps (she had 3x1hour naps yesterday, a vast improvement on recent days)
We can also clearly see a bottom tooth about to break through - so me shoving A&P in her gob whenever i can doesn't seam so silly now!
I don't bother with daytime naps either Anglepoise, makes me feel like crap.
Has anyone got any tips on getting dd to tale calpol? - she literally just spits it out (and looks at me as if i am an idiot for even daring to suggest she eats such a thing) i think she may hate the strawberry flavor?!

itwasCYTEENagewedding · 08/02/2009 13:43

sambo sometimes my DS will retain his dummy while he sleeps, most times he spits it out...i wouldn't worry too much at this stage agree though that i only use it where necessary i.e. i don't give it to him when he's happy/calm/naturally drifting off.

Ponymum · 08/02/2009 13:45

Hello all .

OK, so we have now had two nights of "WTF is going on here?". So here I am . DD is 5 months old on Monday. Too many night feeds for my tired brain to even count properly. And so much crying... Ponymum so tired..

We are non-routine, but I realise now we actually did have a brilliant routine going... now that it's been shot to hell that is. Our "routine" was a bit like Starlight's, ie. feed on and off most of evening on sofa, going to bed 10 - 10:30 and have last big tank up feed before sleep at 11 pm, then either sleep through to 6-7 am or wake up for one feed 4 am ish.

BUT for the last two nights: fussy, fussy refusing to concentrate on the 10:30 pm feed. Crying, screaming, refusing to settle, and waking up multiple times for a feed in the night. Only thing that seems to help is feeding in bed.

(whispers) I accidentally co-slept for most of Friday night. I fell asleep either during or after a feed. Luckily I take really super paranoid precations when setting myself up to feed in bed so DD was safe and happy, but it was a bit of a wake up call (no pun intended). We have a superking bed and I was in the middle with DD carefully cradled next to me and all bedding behind me. I will try to avoid this in future I think, but is just so tiring to get up properly for ANOTHER feed when you feel like you just did one...

What does everyone else do?

floradora · 08/02/2009 13:52

hi everyone, can I join too? don't know if I qualify but dd is 16 weeks so not quite 4 months but her sleep "pattern" is just what everyone else describes. as a newborn she slept so well I was horrified when midwives told me I had to wake her to feed! now she wakes anything between 5 an 9 times a night(except Fri night when she screamed and cried for 2 hours instead)
I bought NCSS and am trying out a few things at the mo..Main thing is not feeding her everytime she wakes, but having a go at shushing/ patting her back to sleep first. My prob is that dd hasn't read the baby books

Anglepoise · 08/02/2009 13:56

I've tried putting her down at 7ish a few times, thinking I'm a bad mum for having her up till midnight (not that she's awake until midnight!), and all it's done is caused six hours of screaming and bedtime at 1 Plus I'm not sure I could face getting up at 7 am anyway (I am not a morning person and have worked evenings for years, so getting up early is not really on my radar) so it helps that she sleeps the same hours I do. Do have NCSS on the way though, though largely out of interest than anything else.

Ponymum I can't count the number of times I've guiltily started awake in the middle of the night to find myself slumped in bed with DD fast asleep on her tummy on my tummy - I'm pretty sure we all do it! I have her in a cot a foot or so away from the bed so can reach up and grab her (found having the cot right next to the bed made it hard both to pick her up and to get into bed) and then at the moment she comes into bed with us in the morning for a few hours - in her grobag on top of our duvet, with the duvet pushed down and the pillows pushed up and trapped under my head/arm so they can't drift down.

arthymum · 08/02/2009 14:26

I assume it gets better. It must. But when?

We need to invite some guest speakers to the thread on the topic "When my DC started sleeping soundly and I regained my sanity and a sense of proportion." (But not the folks whose DC only started sleeping soundly aged 6, because that would just make me cry more.)

itwasCYTEENagewedding · 08/02/2009 15:24

rueful LOL

Ponymum don't feel bad, like Anglepoise says we all do it. In fact it's better to lay her down safely next to you than to doze off with her in your arms and risk her falling - this is often my reasoning for keeping DS in bed with us, when I'm so tired I can't get up and try and settle him back in his cot - there have been a number of occasions when I've jolted awake just in time, so having him next to me is by far the lesser of two evils. Like Anglepoise, DS is in his grobag with the duvet and all pillows pushed away, plus I sleep with one arm around him to make sure he doesn't wriggle.

averagemum · 08/02/2009 16:22

hello everyone (hi arthymum, thanks for the vote of confidence on the other thread!) - well, we actually had a much better night last night. Maybe it was the extra blankets? Dunno, but am going to do EXACTLY the same thing tonight. He went from 6.30pm - I know, very early, but it seems to work - to 12am! Then fed then back asleep til 3am, then woke at 5am ish, which I spose is fair enough if he'd been in bed since 6.30pm. Good job I went to bed at 8.30ish. But could I ask a question about expressing? Have just started at 5 months. When do you find is the best time to do it? Just before, or in between feeds? Thanks!

CantSleepWontSleep · 08/02/2009 18:08

Sorry that I haven't posted for a couple of days ladies. We've been very busy celebrating dd's 3rd birthday. Nights have been awful, and I have had a splitting headache for days and can now barely keep my eyes open. Ds did sleep for nearly 2 hours
from 3:50am this morning, during which time I completely failed to get to sleep myself - such a waste!

Ds is currently napping on my lap. A completely stupid time for a nap I know, but it was that or total meltdown, as 5:30 seemed too early for bed .

Buggered if I know how we'll do bedtime now, as dd will refuse to go to bed before ds does, and ds won't want to go until much later than usual.

fledtoscotland · 08/02/2009 18:48

Evening all. feeling surprisingly awake for this time of night considering i only got about 4 hours last night

both boys have had their bath and DS1 has just had his bottle in his cot and is now asleep. DS2 has had a long(ish) feed and is asleep next to me and i am now contemplating the snow to walk the dogs.

PONY - co-sleeping is the only way i get any sleep. as long as you follow the guidelines, your LO will be safe. we are too tired for alcohol in this house (and too old to be trendy enough for recreational drugs).

i know that there must be a link between daytime naps and sleeping at night but DS2 will never reliably nap in the afternoon. he has about 45 mins in the morning at about 10.30am but will only sleep in the afternoon if we are out if the car.

he is also much more awake now compared to a few weeks ago (co-incidentally when his night time sleeping deteriorated).

Anglepoise · 08/02/2009 18:49

CSWS DD is asleep on me too, and has been more or less since about 4 pm. God only knows what is going to happen tonight. I'm trying to wake her and she's having none of it!

averagemum I think the best time to express is first thing in the morning, after the first feed, and lots of people do it while feeding from the other breast, though personally I never got the angles right.

TooMuchTV · 08/02/2009 21:20

Ponymum - ds starts off in his cot but ends up in our bed every night as he is so hard to settle back in his cot and I am too knackered to do anything else - I feed him lying down and we both go to sleep... He is in a grobag and I sleep in flannel pjs with a fleece jumper on top for warmth - duvet pushed down so it just covers my legs and is well away from him. I will work on getting him to spend more of the night in his cot when he starts sleeping for more than 1-2 hours at a time...

CantSleepWontSleep · 09/02/2009 06:24

Well ds still went to bed well at 7:30, but we started today at 5:10am, after 3 (I think) feeds between 12.30 and then.

fledtoscotland · 09/02/2009 09:58

morning all. actually had a reasonable night's sleep last night. DS2 was awake until 8.30pm when out of despair i gave him an ashton & parsons powder that we are giving DS1 for his teeth. he then fed for 20mins and went to sleep. DH woke him at midnight to change his nappy and gave him 4ozs formula and DS2 then slept until about 5am when he was starving and fed for about 15mins from each side.

we all went back to sleep until about 6.30am when i got up to walk the dogs, DH went to work at 7.30am and now, having "done" breakfast and spent 35mins on my wii fit, both boys are napping

makes such a difference when the mornings are calm - i sort of feel ready for the day

TooMuchTV · 09/02/2009 09:59

first wake up at 12.25 here - think i managed to settle ds in his cot for a change then dh started coughing and by 1.30 ended up feeding him to sleep in our bed yet again. I lost track slightly after this and am not sure if I fed again before we were up for the day at 5.30. If we did sleep for that long I am very pleased - we might have turned a corner...

arthymum · 09/02/2009 10:02

About 3.5 hours sleep for me last night - combination of greedy baby and annoying insomnia that kept me wide awake for two hours.

lollipopmother · 09/02/2009 10:43

Averagemum - Oh I wouldn't worry about the dummy, if it's working then use it. I would kick your DP in the shins if you catch him using it when he doesn't need to, but honestly, don't beat yourself up about it. DD has had a dummy since she had a lumbar puncture in hospital at 2 days old. Dummies don't work for everyone but if they do then I'm all for using one. DD falls asleep without hers during the day and sometimes even at night. I went up last night and she still had hers in two hours later!

Ponymum - I doze off when I'm feeding all the time, it's difficult not to when you're up three times a night!

Arthymum - DD was sleeping through from 10 til 6am then back down til 8am at 12weeks, they just haven't got to the stage that we have yet, it'll come and they'll feel our pain!

itwasCYTEENagewedding · 09/02/2009 10:59

FFS. Up every hour between 9pm and 6am - coughing, crying, wet nappy (that never used to bother him in the night before), starving hungry, snotty. He has got a bit of a cold that seems worse at night, poor pickle. I feel like I've been beaten with sticks.

arthymum · 09/02/2009 11:56

lollipopmother - is this stage really very common then? And does it last for days/weeks/months/years?!

sleepplease · 09/02/2009 18:59

Hello, just googled 18 week old started waking up in the night and found this thread. I'm glad I'm not alone!! But I do feel better mine isn't waking as much as some of yours. She wakes once or twice but was sleeping through find it hard to settle her back though as there is no real way that will work. She'll feed for a few mins and then fall asleep but wake when I try to move her. She won't have a dummy so we turn on a sea noises thing that we use to get her to sleep which often doesn't work during the night. Had some bad nappies recently and she isn't always regular anyway so wondered if she had an upset tummy or maybe early teething?

loulou33 · 09/02/2009 20:57

hi all,

ds2 still up to all sorts of tricks last night, usually settles to bed ok but then up a lot after a few hours. Last night he refused to close his eyes or relax - spent 3 hours rigid against mys shoulder like he was trying to see something above his head? Finally did about 6 burps and farts and fell asleep only to wake at 3 hours later for more to eat and then at 5. I was back in bed for 6 but dh was snoring and kept tossing and turning when i shouted at him to shut the f* up. Ds1 woke at 7.30 so i had barely dropped off before i was up with him.

daytime sleeps seem to be better though - ie 2 hours in pram after a short walk around village and he has settled ok tonight so far. i know he'll be up again by midnight at the latest so i should get some sleep but am now wired and don't feel tired at all

itwasCYTEENagewedding · 09/02/2009 21:01

DS has woken up crying after less than an hour in bed. This is not like him, I am worried.

Anglepoise · 09/02/2009 22:09

cyteen you have my sympathies. DD was much worse when she was full of cold last week. I found raising the head of her mattress by putting some rolled up towels underneath it and a few Karvol decongestant drops on a muslin tied to her cot really helped.

I may get drummed out of this thread because she slept 12.30 till 6.30 last night then back down till half eight. She was also in bed with us for all of that time (and DH and I slept appallingly!) ...

titferbrains · 09/02/2009 22:43

dragging self wearily onto this thread. thanks for starting lovely thread for those of us suffering!! jsut want to post my confusion at DD who is 21 wks - now sleeping well for 1st half of night but still wakes at 2ish, 4ish ,5, and finally wakes up at 7ish. Anyone else find that they are so tired during the wee hours of the morning that it's impossible to wake self up fully to give a proper feed to ensure more sleep?? AAARGH. think DD is nibbling in early hours of morning and knows boob is near her face so doesn't take full feed. Not sure how to remedy this. we are co-sleeping for maximum sleep. she is sleeping well in her cot tho but I have such structural tiredness that I cannot bear the thought of trying to resettle her at 4 am. makes me feel ill just thinking about it. anyway, she is also taking less at 10.30 feed. Better go and give it to her now. Any thoughts? hope you all have a good night lovingly touched by the sleep fairy.