is it just me or do you feel a bit miffed when your baby doesn't get good naps and you are really trying??

[IHeartIona]

my dd has a bit of a thing about waking after 35 mins (though saying that she has been asleep for 50 mins so far after her lunch of cauli/courgette and papaya ) and yesterday I was rather gutted when she woke after twenty mins at lunch time when my internet shopping was delivered. she had a total of about an hour and a half over three naps yesterday.
I felt really guilty about not helping her sleep longer even though I tried at the lunch and afternoon nap to feed her back to sleep. Do you feel like this too? Is this just part of the guilt that comes with being a parent??!!

I don't feel guilty but I do get very frustrated. Or rather I did, and then I decided on reasonable limits for trying (both for getting her to sleep and getting her back to sleep). Now I just do that and if it doesn't work I'm not going to break my heart.

I used to be so zealous about naps, and get super upset if they didn't happen properly. Then I realised that beyond offering them at regualr times (which she usually takes) they made bugger all difference to DD

I would get myself positively furious (with myself and with him ) because he would be screaming hysterically with tiredness by bedtime if he didn't sleep properly and then I would have to lie sobbing in a dark room with him while he howled. This went on for 5 months. So I think it's pretty normal.

Nowadays I just feel a bit guilty if he gets overtired and I don't put him down. If he wakes too soon it's not because I have done anything wrong, it's usually just because he has teeth trouble or something.

Why does the Tesco delivery ALWAYS arrive during a nap? ALWAYS! We find ourselves creeping around (we live in a flat with the kitchen next to our room where she sleeps) trying to put the frozen stuff away as quietly as possible

hee hee Becky77 I know what you mean!
luckily my dd slept for 1 hr 10 mins (has done this a few times lately) at lunchtime and has just gone down again. seems really tired today, it must be due to the short naps yesterday. time for a cuppa for me!

Ugh - I know exactly what you mean. So glad you all posted as I have just been sitting here feeling reall fed up and like a completely failed mother, until I read your posts.

I do absolutely everything I can think to improve daysleep for my DS (7mnth) but he still only gets MAX 2hrs in naps a day (on a good day). DH keeps having a go at me saying I obsess but today DS only had 1hr 20m across three naps. Tried to put him down early to compensate for it, but he spent the extra 1/2 hour refusing to drink his bed-time bottle instead!

Think I need to take a leaf out of LaTrucha's book.

Yup, me too. DD is 4mths and has 40 mins nap in the morning in her cot, 30/40 mins around 12pm and then we march the streets in the pram to make up nap time! She needs longer at lunch but wakes up so I keep her up for 30-60 mins (as she wont go back to sleep) then we go for a walk and she sleeps for another 30/40 mins. Around 4.45pm, we do another march and she sleeps for another 30 mins!

If only she would do 2 hrs at lunch. Not quite sure how to sort it out - hoping it will come with time.

You would think I would have lost all the baby weight walking every day (too many sweetie shops around our way!)

pudding's last post made me realise I offered no hope with my previous message, sorry!

DS got lots better from 6 months - he was a hardcore 45 minute napper but started taking the occasional 90 minute nap at that stage. Then around 10 months he switched to a basic 75 minute nap time, which he's stuck to until now (14 months). he still naps twice daily, usually 1 hr 15 morning and early afternoon, but sometimes throws in a 2 hour nap as a treat

We didn't do anything to make it better. It just got better in time. If anything it got better when I stopped trying so hard

Iatedavina you have given me hope

This post has made me feel so much better For the past couple of weeks dd has been doing 3/4 naps - 1 of 40 mins and a couple of 30 mins. I have got to the point where I have stopped being stressed about it, but I do find it hard when half an hour after waking up she is yawning again. She is also a nightmare to settle and going through the pain of hearing her wail every hour and a half just so she can get 30mins sleep is not nice.
I blame all the books for making us feel like our babies have to be following a sleep formula. If I'd never read the Baby Whisperer would have saved myself a lot of stress over naps !

ha ha - you're all making me feel much better. my 9mo DD won't nap at all some days, despite me trying my best. i try not to stress about it, but she does get sooooooo tired and then i think, great, she'll sleep for ages tonight, only for her to wake up at 6am (like today)

i guess they make their own decisions about whether they'll sleep or not. right now, mine is in her cot, faffing about, kicking her covers off and spinning round, hopefully settling herself off, leaving me with the dilemma of whether to go in and put covers on her once she's nodded off...

and yes, there's always some noise or other just as she nods off. right now, my neighbours are slamming car doors in the street - perfectly reasonable behaviour at 10am on a Thursday, but i am seeeeeeething and stressing out about it, where pre-DD i wouldn't even have noticed

I seem to be seeeeeething at the outside world a lot these days

In case anyone's interested what I do is -

Try for 20 minutes at the appropraite time. If she's not gone by then I play with her for 30 minutes, tray again, play for 30 minutes try again - give up.

If she wakes stupidly early I try and get her back to sleep for a maximum of 15 minutes.

These timings just came form observing DD. IF she's not gone in 20 minutes, she's not going.

It has reaaly helped my nap rage - which was stupendous!

yes, 20 minute rule works here too - just been saying i leave her for that length of time max on another thread about controlled crying

nap rage is a terrible thing and adds to my seething - people talking? high heels clattering? bin men coming? postman thrusting the letters through the door right under her bedroom? seethe seethe seethe. how very dare these people go about their business while MY BABY WON'T NAP?

Ds never napped any longer than 40 minutes at a time until he went down to 1 nap a day at about 13 months, now he does 2 hours after lunch BLISS!!!!!! I got in a right tizz about it and spent so much time trying to "make" him sleep, once I accepted he was a non napping baby things seemed to get easier for me!

'nap rage' is so true. I didn't realise it was such a widespread problem.

There have been times DP has had to stop me from running into the street armed with the kitchen knife ...

Ah, yes, 'nap rage'. That is so true! Ds doesn't nap now but I remember it so well. Also felt noone else understood it.

aha my rage has a name!!! thanks for all your comments it makes me feel better. will try the 20 min rule tomorrow!

@ Pinata - Dont even start me on the postman!! In fact I could just about forgive him but all the other chancers who shove free papers, menus and other assorted cr@p through my post box need to be strung up!!!

Haha nap rage is alive and well in my home

oh and I just read no cry sleep solution and apparently a nap of under an hour doesn't count

also had nap rage for ds1 and ds2, by the time dd was on the scene I'd finally realised that in fact my kids only need 30 minute naps and they have grown up fine on that. dd just got carried round and slept as and when. throw away any of those books that tell you babies need long naps, ladies - liberate yourselves!

Becky77 - if naps under an hour don't count my dd has had about 2 naps in the last week that count then, and they were a mere 1 hr 10 mins!
and over the past couple of months I would say she had zero naps that counted!

Yes, yes, must tell husband is not post pregnancy hormones but nap rage!

Started to hate all people that come within 20 feet of house as have 45kg of Alsation, waiting for a car to drive past/somebody walk too near the house/a flipping bird to land in the garden, so he can "gaurd" (i.e bark his head off whilst I should "sit" and "no" at him apparently for no particular reason). So I have taken to sending the dog to work with DH - poor thing.

Must gloat a bit though - DS managed 1.5 hours lunch time today!!! WOOHOOO
(please note I sat quietly on MN not daring to even pee the whole time).

well done your ds gabster! and I know how you felt during the long nap... I was gasping for a drink the other day but didn't dare boil the kettle.

@ IheartIona - Haha, me too me too...

And oh my God I cant even imagine how you deal with having a dog The Gabster?? My cat has virtually been banished from the house and she gets some serious cold shouldering if she dares to meow!!!

Well bugger it. Am not dealing with the dog today - its all gone tits up. He Woke DS up at 6.30 and again with the morning nap when DS (who is napping really badly today) had surfaced and was, I am sure, just about to go back off. Grrrrr. Stupid bloody ... intelligent animals my arse

Now DS has surfaced 40m into lunch nap (no guesses why there), screamed for 10 seconds and hopefully nodded back off. At least it has gone very quiet and I daren't check, as am glaring at the dog daring him to so much as twitch an ear loudly .....