10 wk old won't sleep at 7pm - advice wanted.

[p1umpudding]

I can't get my 10 week old DD to go down at 7pm. I bathe her at 5.30, then get her dressed for bed and give her a feed in a dark and quiet room, but then come 7pm, she's just not ready for bed. When she does eventually go off, I wake her at 11pm, feed and then she wakes at 7am (that's the good part).

She simply won't sleep during the day either and is overtired by 7pm. She's exclusively breastfed and I just don't know what to do as my husband and I just want a few hours together in the evening - help and advice wanted.

IME 10 weeks is still quite little for expecting a breastfed baby to sleep from 7pm

does she not sleep in the pram if you go out for a walk?

She's ten weeks old!!!!

Unfortunately not. Not in the car either! It's not a major problem, but I would just love a few hours to eat my dinner in peace and talk with hubby.

have a few hours together with the baby, let her lie on someone's chest and feel part of the family. that's what we did with dd, she was a good sleeper but (not unlike her parents) went to bed later than most. don't fight her.

10 weeks is too early to expect a baby to be asleep at 7pm - more like around the 4month mark that they start to settle into something like a routine. However, the waking at 7am thing sounds a bonus so focus on that positive for now. You have to expect little or no partner time with a new baby - part of the job description!

MMj - loving your outlook on that - I'm totally the same

Desiderata - I know she's only 10 weeks old and I'm aware I'm probably expecting too much, but all my other friends seem to manage it and I'm feeling like a bit of a failure and wondered if I'm doing something wrong

People LIE about what there children are doing.

PussinJimmyChoos ,DillyTanty ,themildmanneredjanitor - thanks for your advice. I feel I have something to work towards and wonder if my friends are telling a few fibs!

Your other friends are freaks . No, they're lucky, but unusual. I totally agree with the other posts - you're expecting too much from a 10 week old baby.

Plum, your friends are lying.

Honestly, they're lying.

A ten week old isn't an automatum that will learn to do things on command. You may have years before you and dh can have a couple of hours together in the evening.

Or you may drop lucky, and she might sleep through sometime soon.

Either way, your friends ain't telling the truth, so don't sweat about that!

your friends are lying... truly. wait til their second child comes along and they'll stop even trying to pretend that they're going down at 7pm.

my pal struggled for MONTHS to get her ds1 to go down at 7pm (bloody gina ford). she'd say he went down at 7pm because that's when she started trying, the truth was more like 10pm. so to be fair she wasn't lying, strictly, because it felt like the truth to her.

all change with her ds2, kept him in a sling in the evenings, got on with cooking/watching telly/snuggling with dh and everyone was much happier.

I think your expectations are too high. I thought the same before I had DS then quickly learned that he was in charge and would feed and sleep when he wanted to. I would spend most evenings, feeding almost continuously from 7pm-11pm. (and again at 1am!)

The easiest way to deal with this is to accept that your little one is not programmed with a routine (despite what several books say)and to just feed her when she wants feeding and let her sleep when she wants to sleep. You can't force a baby to go to sleep if they don't want to and the easiest way to get around this is to accept it, realise it's normal and life will become much easier.

I used to feed DS sitting at the dinner table with DH. DH used to cut my dinner up for me so I could eat it one-handed . Just enjoy the time, don't force routine and things will work themselves out. DS now has a routine which he decided on himself and I actually consider myself lucky, as many babies don't ever get a routine that mummies want!

lol at the x-posts. seems like my whispers weren't needed.

Ha!!!! I would be amazed if my 20 week old went to bed at 7pm! Not once has he ever managed it!

Plum - I do sympathise...all I heard when I had DS was how baby Schrodinger, Baby Einstein and Baby Future Rocket Scientist slept through the night from ooh at least 2 seconds old, never had colic etc and it gets really depressing...then I discovered mnet and realised what motherhood is really like for the majority of us and never looked back since! Join the real mums m'dear - we tell it like it is!

Besides, the way they lay on your chest all snuggly is soo lovely and believe me, when they are at the toddler stage and smearing sudocrem all over your rug, you will yearn for those cuddles again - make the most of it

PussinJimmyChoos - I gladly accept the seat next to you and the huge Galaxy bar on offer

Oh, and I agree with all the others... Your friends are either all very lucky (unlikely) or being more than economical with the truth .

Parenthood isn't a competition about who's baby can sleep through the night first. I'm a first-time mum and have learned so much in the last 7 months but I think the most important thing that I have learned is that my DS isn't just a baby like everyone elses, he's an individual with his own personality, quirks and his own sleep patterns! Just enjoy your DD, don't fret about what your friends are doing .

10 weeks old is very young to expect it. Unless you suscribe to the Gina Ford routine methods, or what ever they are called < shudder>

You have a baby that sleeps all night at 10 weeks! count your blessings lovely, honestly!
I'm not being nasty, at all by the way. You really don't appreciate quite how lucky you really are

My dd was exclusively BF and woke every 2 hours if lucky she'd go for 3 hours, until she was early a year old!

Sleeping in the day is a more realistic thing to want to maybe get 'sorted' out, but making or trying to get a 10wk old baby to sleep from 7pm is really unrealistic and a little unfair on her actually.

If you can manage to get some day time naps into her routine, then you might find, ironically, that she sleeps more in the eve and night. It was not until my dd was having proper naps ( at 10 months, she started to have 2 regular naps every day) then she started getting closer to sleeping all night.

I did always put her down to bed at the same time every night, from very early on, but, I didn't stress or leave her if she didn't want to fall asleep.

The best way, if you really must try at 10 weeks old, is get a good routine, and stick with it. She will eventually associate it with sleep, and see it as sleep cues.
Warm bath, followed by cuddle, quite time, reading ( yes, I read to dd even at that age. she liked to listen to me, lying on the bed reading) darken room, feed... tuck into bed, leave the room. even if you end up going back, if you do this every evening you might find it starts to make a little difference.

I'd say though the key will be to getting naps in the day- where ever they occur, in the pram whilst walking, or in the car, or even in her bed at home.

I think also you and DH need to re evaluate things a little. Of course you need time alone together, but when you are new parents, its not on the radar, honestly. Its part of having a new baby.

Its lovely, important treasured and special times you will spend as a family. You can't get them back.. Maybe look at it that way, and it will not be so important that she's out of the way, asleep... trust me, i do know how you feel, but these early days go by SO quickly. You'll look back and wish you'd not been so insistent in it, and wasting energy on it so young.

I'd love to have my little baby here now, in the evening, not being able to shout at me, pull my hair, throw things, etc.... just lying on a cushion, or on my shoulder, or something nice like that... < wistful emoticon >

1 Galaxy coming up and welcome! I'm assuming you are new as haven't seen you on here before, although maybe we just haven't been posting on the same threads!

Message withdrawn

Yup, fairly new, mostly reading posts and wondering how everyone does it, esp the gals in the Good Housekeeping section! Couldn't tell you when I last did housework and have no intention of thinking about it either!

a 5.30 bath for bed at 7 is a long time inbetween, either she would happily fall asleep at 6/6.30 or would prefer a later bath?

Agree with snuggled somewhere out of the main path but not in the dark/quiet as most i have found sleep better at this young age with the lights on

Does she cat nap in the day?

how many sleeping thru from 7pm babies are we talking about her? i find they nap and need attention between 7-9/10 then they settle

christiana - she does get a good feed, but after reading all the posts, I'm just not bothered anymore. Am defo going to enjoy the time I have with her and like others have said, I'm not going to get the time back and will just have to postpone quality time with DH.