My son is nearly 3 and still wakes several times a night – when does this usually stop?

[Laurzz]

He wakes 2–3 times every night looking for comfort.

He gets out of bed and comes through shouting for “mummy” or “daddy”. We take him back to his bed, but it often means sitting in his room for up to half an hour each time until he falls asleep again. At bedtime he goes down with no issues at all and is often asleep within five minutes of his head hitting the pillow. He’s had the same bedtime routine since he was 3 weeks old bath, milk and bed at 8pm. He’s dropped all naps now, apart from the occasional 30 minutes if we’re in the car.

I know to some this probably sounds pretty good going, but we both work full time and are only getting around 4 hours sleep a night. I do the night wakes Monday–Thursday and my partner does Friday–Sunday which I’m grateful for but I sleep very lightly until he comes back to bed. Sometimes I feel like the only one dealing with this as other mums with children a similar age keep telling me theirs have slept 7–7 from very early on 🙃. Please tell me I’m not the only one with a nearly 3 year old who still wakes at night and that I won’t be sitting on his bedroom floor forever… 😅

And if anyone has any tips or things that helped at this age, I’m all ears!

Get a decent double height inflatablr mattress (about £60 off amazon but its sooooo comfy) in their room OR put them in your bed and everyone gets some sleep...

Honestly just do whatever gets everyone the most sleep, it won't last forever and we get the kids we get 😅🙈 (from the ft working mum of a fellow 3yr old waker!!)

When we had DD2, DD1 got the bigger room which had our spare double guest bed in. Seemed a waste to get rid and actually it’s been brilliant; she sleeps really well in it and we can get in with her for a cuddle and be really comfy still. If you have the space and means, I’d really reccomend a double bed for your toddlers (mad as it sounds). It’s great having the option to bring her in with us and have guests in her room too!

Could magnesium help? My son is neurodivergent and notoriously an early walker. I read a while back about magnesium gummies etc for children to help sleep quality. Could be worth a shot?

DS2 was 9 before he stopped coming into our bed at night. Sometimes DH and I slept through and woke with him there , sometimes DH decamped to his bed.
He is an adult now, and is still a poor sleeper.

5yo and still does the same @Laurzz 😅

He doesn’t even talk to me now, just runs in and climbs over me into the middle of the bed and sleeps horizontally between DH and I 🫠🤣 one of us gets used as a pillow and the other gets toes digging in all night 😅

Do yourself a favour and buy the biggest bed you can and just give in to the family bed 🤣

My 8yo has recently started sleeping through most (80%ish) of nights, but also doesn't sleep until nearly 11 and is then up at 6.30 (yay ADHD). For a long time one of us was in with her though.

My 6yo it's currently mostly sleeping through but it goes in waves. She's currently sleeping in our bed so sleeps reasonably well, but still wakes most nights in her own bed. Saying that, even in our bed she's up for 1-2 hours a couple of times a week.

The only time we've had decent sleep since having children was in the first 4 months of my eldest's life. It's been all downhill from there 😂

🤣🤣 so glad it made you laugh. It’s true though. Except for the looking for my mum and dad 😅

My 11 yr old still wakes most nights - sorry! However he is autistic and ADHD which probably plays a large part in this. He actually was better as a baby/toddler.

Joining the club! 2yo had me up last night/this morning 230–445… I mean wtf is that?!!
its horrrribbllle!!!

I’ve come across magnesium while researching, but I’m a bit nervous about going down that route. We could bring his bedtime forward, which we’re planning to do, but we’re waiting for life to return to normal this week after the festive period. My partner and I have read through the responses and agreed to just ride the storm and opt for co-sleeping. Knowing we’re not the only ones has helped our moods massively tonight.

DS1 (13) stayed fairly reliably in bed from about 5. Although it turned out that he was waking up about six times a night but had worked out that we didn’t like to be woken (that was a gem at his ASD assessment aged 9). DS2 (9) turns up about once a week, often essentially sleepwalking. He can usually be turfed back into his own bed (more awkward recently as he’s getting a bit big for me to carry without assistance so DH does the transfer, by which stage we’re all awake).

Sorry, solidarity and I promise it does get better (DS1 stopped appearing randomly after ‘a bad dream’ at about 11 and now only appears if he’s ill).

I think if you can get them going to sleep without you sitting with them, that might really help. Mine do the 7-7 and have since before they were one (almost four and almost two now). Like the PP they have water in their room and it is drunk through the night. And a potty that is sometimes wee’d in, so we do know they wake up.

We read two stories before bed then they have books in their beds to look at until they fall asleep. If we forget the books they shout or wake and shout. We have the gro lights that change and show when it’s time to wake up and they can get out of bed, and found those really good (you might already have tried them)

It isn’t a bad habit to give your child what they need!

My youngest stopped waking when she started school. So 4 1/2.

Careful with these. The widely recommended brand on a lot of Facebook groups was later found to be laced with unknown quantities of melatonin which is why they were getting rave reviews. It wasn't mentioned on the ingredients and presumably they could also contain anything else.

Mine were 4 and 7 (!)- i moved a single bed into our bed room/had a mattress on the floor for years. Just do what you have to so everyone sleeps - they do grow out of it, just remember its not you that's doing anything wrong. My DH didnt like co sleeping either but i did most of the get ups and I work ft so I needed sleep to function at work. Make sure you make time for your relationship thou, after nearly 10 years of non sleeping children its taken its toll.

Thought I’d give an update. We followed the co sleeping advice and the first two nights were pretty awful, he was really restless and still waking up. On the third night, when I tried to bring him into our bed, he actually refused and wanted to go back into his own bed.
We decided to take the mattress we bought for the spare room and put it in his room instead. Now when he wakes, we put him back into his bed and lie on the mattress on the floor next to him. He’s only waking once now and that’s when he comes through to us. We’ve gone from about 4 hours sleep to 6, which is definitely an improvement.

Thanks everyone for the advice 😊

I thought I was going to die from lack of sleep - I was so depressed as my son was the same. He went on melatonin which helped him fall asleep more quickly but he still woke in the night. I took him off melatonin because he started with night terrors. And immediately after he slept through and has done since. No idea if the timing of the melatonin is coincidence. He was 4.5. I am strict if he wakes in the night though, straight back into his own bed. I can’t go back to that.

Just let him get into your bed when he wakes. Tell him to come through and not to shout or wake you up. He will grow out of it soon.

Co-sleep. It’s very normal around the globe and it’ll help him calm down.
Do you have space for a little mattress in your room or a big enough bed?
I cos kept with my DD - loved waking up to that little person

Can you put a double mattress in and sleep in that with him? Mine wouldn't settle on my bed nor if I was in a bed in the same room. The double bed was a game changer!