Baby sleep - help!

[KLH1986]

Hi all,

Since the end of August, my 5.5 month old boy has struggled with sleeping in his bed past 2am, rarely naps for longer than 90 minutes during the day and we are both so overtired its crazy. Has anyone else experienced this?

After speaking with the HVs, I’ve tried a couple of different things, but the situation is getting worse not better and I’m at my wits end.

we’ve used white noise since birth as our 6yr old still loves this for his own bedtime. And our youngest was sleeping 3-4hrs stretches until the end of August; this even includes having been on holiday (within the UK) too.

I’ve patted and shushed him to sleep for around 3 weeks, whilst making bedtime as boring as possible with dark room, no story and just a bottle. He goes to sleep but will not tolerate this during the night.

I’ve tried leaving the room and returning to calm at intervals. Again this works at bedtime but the only way to calm him is to pick him up. It has worked for one whole night only; baby was sucking finger to settle when he woke up, he woke up calm and chatting in the morning rather than the now normal screaming.

I’ve tried small amounts of mashed banana as HV advised they contain melatonin. Worst night of all.

I’ve also tried laying him next to me on the bed and he won’t settle there either.

At this point, because he won’t sleep in his bed past 2-3am with several wake ups between 10/11 until then, I’m worried I’ll fall asleep with him on my, and end up getting up around 4am. At which point baby sleeps on me until 7/7.30 (basically whenever our oldest gets up 😂) It’s not sustainable and I worry our older son is suffering for mine and his dad’s lack of sleep.

baby refuses 9/10 to sleep in his cot for naps too and in the rare occasion he does, it lasts for a max of 20 minutes. , won’t settle on dad very often so it feels like I’m holding him all day and night.

baby was in a Moses basket until we went ok holiday, where he went into our travel cot. He was happy to sleep in that until the end of August, at which point he and I started sleeping in his bedroom as we wondered if the travel cot moved too much and woke him up.

any suggestions would be welcome!

Wow...when did Mumsnet become so hateful and hurtful. When my four were young I welcomed the advice of other parents on here and welcomed everyone sharing their opinions, whether I acted on them or not. Shouting people down and accusing them of being awful parents is not what Mumsnet was set up to be about. Particularly when those asking for help are tired and desperate for some support. I'm ducking out of it now, based on today's awful experience. My four are healthy, happy teenagers and I thank my generation's Mumsnet for a lot of the support and advice I got from other mums when I had worries such as them not sleeping or when to wean. For the record, my boys weaned at 5 months and it sorted out every single problem...the advice changes annually from the government but you believe what you want. HV are not always the gurus you think they are, whereas a community of other parents who have been there successfully can often have the answers you need. It takes a village to raise a child but clearly this village is not a nice place to live. Sorry for trying to help and good luck with this vitriolic crowd.

Are you replying to the right thread? Very confused as there's some great advice so far!

What is wake time, bedtime, and daytime schedule? 4/5 months is very typically a difficult development period for sleep so this isn't unusual (but it doesn't make it easy, that's for sure).

I'm sorry your struggling with little ones sleep our little one is 7 months and sleep has been a battle,it sounds like sleep pressure could be a problem, have you tried working out wake windows before naps ? Have you tried day naps in the cot ? we've tried all sorts with our little one,patting shushing baths, early bed,eating didn't change her sleep,most of the day she cat naps and night time she won't settle until between 3 -5 am but will sleep until 9am but it just works for us at the moment,our HV said they do have sleep clinics but not this early.

90 mins in a day is completely normal for some babies. My baby has napped more than 90 mins in a day total since she was newborn. Often 60 mins. I really wouldn’t start solids early, Im pretty shocked HV advised that. And definitely don’t do those baby porridge or rice, they have no nutritional value. Can you bedshare for day naps so you can sleep? Or use buggy in the house? We use a Rokit on the buggy in the living room.

You have my sympathies. We had a very similar situation, confirmed silent reflux by a baby osteopath. We hired a sleep consultant at 5 months old and oh my god it was the single best decision we’ve made as parents. She guided us through how to teach him to settle himself for sleep, both at bedtime and during the night, and after a few nights he was sleeping 11hrs uninterrupted. The methods we used did involve some tears, but we were always right there beside his cot comforting him, so it’s nothing like cry it out. Honestly I didn’t believe it was possible, but it’s changed our life and I can’t recommend highly enough. Good luck, it won’t last forever as everyone says, but if you’re really struggling there is a way to speed things up.

He's so little still to expect him to totally self soothe.

I have bed shared since about 1 month, my DC is almost 5 months. It makes life so much easier