Still in the 4 month regression 5 weeks later 😢 GP or wait it out?

[NovemberFlush]

I've posted about this before, but our LO who has just turned 4 months has been going through what we believe is the 4 month regression for 5 weeks. We are so exhausted, every night time and every nap can be so hard. At night he does his first stretch of sleep which can be anywhere from 1-3 hours usually. Then after this, he's awake every 1 hour or every 40 minutes. It takes multiple attempts to get him down in his next to me, as he wakes up loads. My poor dh insists on being the one to soothe him as I breastfeed, and he still feeds quite a bit. And my dh is up with him every hour of the night after the first stretch of sleep, over and over again. 😢 We've tried bedsharing, which doesn't really make a difference anymore. We can't swaddle anymore. He enjoys rolling onto his tummy and tends to sleep best like this, but doesn't always do it. He turns onto his side and usually within a couple of minutes rolls onto his back and cries. This happens multiple times through the night. Daytime naps are hard, he only sleeps 30 - 50 minutes usually. I worry he's not getting enough rest. When I've googled, it says to ask a gp if it goes beyond 6 weeks, should we?? Or do we just wait it out? We have a bedtime routine every night which we try and stick to. Just feel so helpless and tired all the time 😢

I'm a little confused, are you feeding baby each time he wakes or is DH trying to soothe him each time without you feeding him?

Does he settle after being fed? My LO went from sleeping through to waking every hour - co-sleeping and feeding on demand kept me sane and was the best way for us all to get some sleep.

Honestly the GP isnt going to help here.

You are knackered most likely and prob cant see wood for trees. If you are breastfeeding I wouldnt waste time with your dh getting up unless he is giving expressed milk - what's he really doing? The baby needs a feed...

Bf babies wake a lot more frequently we were getting 2-4 hours block with bottle fed babies at this age.

Id try and work out a more effective strategy and would work on expressing and bottle feeding so you can both get more rest.
Id also look at bed time routine and introducing a lovely or similar

Sorry I'm not very clear @MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel my dh soothes him most times without him needing to be fed. He feeds in the night maybe 3 or 4 times

The 4 month regression is a bit misleading. It is actually when a baby's sleep cycles mature to be more similar to adults i.e. have light and deep sleep. This means babies often wake in the light sleep phase, particularly if the thing that helped them get to sleep has changed e.g. they fell asleep being rocked and are now lying in a cot. The regression lasts as long as it takes the baby to figure out linking sleep cycles. They often manage at the start of the night when more tired, but find it harder later on.

My DS slept badly from 4.5m until about 9m and then it gradually improved. In his case he woke loads but was quite easy to resettle with a feed. If you think there is an issue e.g. possible reflux that is making it hard for your DC to settle, then speak to the GP. I know that is hard to know!

@Nix32 Sometimes it helps him sleep longer, but not every time.

I don’t think the GP will be able to help if it’s just a case of bad sleep. The problem is that unlike other regressions, this one is a permanent change to their sleep patterns and can take a while to settle into it, and they might never go back to what they were doing before. Solidarity though, I’m there now and struggling more than with a newborn!

Sorry to be unclear, I don't feed every wakeup. Dh soothes baby because when he rolls back onto his back, he wakes up and cries and needs settling back down again. And it just keeps happening over and over.

Easier and faster in my experience to just feed them back to sleep at that age. Are you sure he isn't hungry? Or cluster feeding?

You need to feed each time he wakes. 4-6 months is big growth spurt time, and frankly it'll settle him (and thanks to the feeding hormones) you quicker.

It will end, but breastfed babies naturally feed more frequently. My daughter fed every 2 hours minimum until she was 14 months, morning noon and night. You just have to go with it.

Honestly I would ditch following the whole regression thing, it just creates expectations and instead follow your baby.
This just sounds like a phase and it will pass although it is hard when you are going through it.
GP won’t do anything about some unsettled sleep. What you need to do is find ways to cope while he is unsettled, , either by tag teaming(I know you are bf but could you express and do half the night each?) or some other way. Also as others have said he may well need feeding rather than soothing from DH.

He used to have mild reflux, but I think it's pretty much settled now. We never needed to treat it, it was more just the posseting that gave it away. But it doesn't happen much now.
I know a bit about linking sleep cycles. So this morning he woke up cooing before 6ish and fell back to sleep on his own for a while. So I think he can do it, but doesn't normally. We just feel in the dark with it all, do we just wait it out and hope it improves naturally soon?

Baby doesnt take a bottle, so cant express. But he doesn't need feeding every wakeup up anyway. It's more that he just wakes up a lot.

You be led by your baby.

If feeding soothes him down, and puts him back to sleep you feed him. It's counter productive to fight against it.

It is normal for breastfed babies to want to feed at every night waking. Of course not everyone wants to or can do this. But it is biological normal. Mine all slept with a nipple in their mouth at this age. That's not for everyone, though I know.

Feeding isn't just a need though. It's comfort and breastmilk contains hormones that are conducive to sleep for both you and baby.

Okay, I'll feed more then and see if it improves anything. Thank you, I'll update after tonight 🙏🏼

Hoping you dont all think I'm cruel btw! I did feed on every wakeup until a week or so ago but it didn't make a difference. I will try again though.

I would go to the gp to rule out silent reflux, breastfeeding often is common but our third was similar to yours, and after going on reflux medication would sleep 2-3 hours and was much calmer in general.
Ours started getting worse around 3 months and peaked at 4 months which the GP said was commonly the worst age for reflux to peak.
If there is excessive crying I would definitely want to rule it out as they will often want to comfort feed lots because of the discomfort of the reflux.

If hes waking up you should at least try & feed him. Babies dont work like clocks, it might even just be for comfort. You definitely dont need to take him to the gp though x

hes prob waking because hes hungry.

Just because he goes back to sleep doesnt mean he just randomly woke up.

No one thinks your cruel, parenting is such trial and error.

I've had 3 babies and they were all different, which is why there is no manual for parents. Typically, in the early days the path of least resistance is best.

If that means co-sleeping so baby can feed every time he stirs, you do that. If it means wedging rolled up towels around him so he can't roll into a position he hates then do that (I did that for my son, he hated being on his back but constantly rolled onto it).

You do what you can to survive until they are of a temperament to learn from a bit of sleep training and each child is different as to when that stage will be.

Honestly, let your DP sleep and just feed baby back to sleep. What you're doing sounds crazy and I can't imagine the GP would help!

What are the symptoms of silent reflux? His crying isn't excessive. He gets upset when he ends up on his back at night, he'sokay once picked up. Doesn't have an issue being on his back when awake though.

At 4 months I would feed every wake up tbh. They have huge growth spurts and settling back to sleep probably just delays waking for hunger.