Still in the 4 month regression 5 weeks later 😢 GP or wait it out?

[NovemberFlush]

I've posted about this before, but our LO who has just turned 4 months has been going through what we believe is the 4 month regression for 5 weeks. We are so exhausted, every night time and every nap can be so hard. At night he does his first stretch of sleep which can be anywhere from 1-3 hours usually. Then after this, he's awake every 1 hour or every 40 minutes. It takes multiple attempts to get him down in his next to me, as he wakes up loads. My poor dh insists on being the one to soothe him as I breastfeed, and he still feeds quite a bit. And my dh is up with him every hour of the night after the first stretch of sleep, over and over again. 😢 We've tried bedsharing, which doesn't really make a difference anymore. We can't swaddle anymore. He enjoys rolling onto his tummy and tends to sleep best like this, but doesn't always do it. He turns onto his side and usually within a couple of minutes rolls onto his back and cries. This happens multiple times through the night. Daytime naps are hard, he only sleeps 30 - 50 minutes usually. I worry he's not getting enough rest. When I've googled, it says to ask a gp if it goes beyond 6 weeks, should we?? Or do we just wait it out? We have a bedtime routine every night which we try and stick to. Just feel so helpless and tired all the time 😢

Oh I know. I was too, but I couldn’t take it any more, I thought I was going to die with tiredness. Once I stopped feeding between 7 and 7 (which my HV said I could do at 6 months) it all got easier. Meant my mum could do the occasional night for example

i told you about him now as one of the things I worried about is that I would damage our bond or he wouldn’t get enough nutrition or something if I night weaned. But it was all fine (he’s sitting next to me now 🙂)

@OhHellolittleone even sleeping on his tummy the last couple of days he's been waking more often. Still unsure if it's vaccine related though, as maybe he had a tummy ache or was just uncomfortable? Who knows.
I'm really really intimidated by sleep training. It gives me dread.

Op , I have no useful advice I'm afraid, however my first post on MN was in 2006 when mine was 4m old, around the exact same issue! It resolved itself when she figured out how to roll better and I also put lots of dummies in her cot so she could always find one - that seemed to be a problem for her. It was hell at the time, but these phases are just that - once she got past that, she was a sleeper all other parents were jealous of! Hope things improve soon

The 16 week vaccines really had a bad impact on my baby’s sleep (not that it was great at the point of the vaccines anyway but still). Not helped by the rest of my NCT group saying how well their babies slept after their vaccines 😵

So much of sleep is developmental that I wouldn’t be rushing to sleep train my four month old, if it wasn’t something I was sure I wanted to do, and it doesn’t sound like you’re sure. I’d at least wait until 5.5-6 months until they’ve settled into their new sleep infrastructure. Depending on what type of sleep training you mean (if it’s a leave them to cry one) then if you’re dreading it you probably won’t stick to it.

@OhDorWheresthesalad Thank you, it's always good to know of others who understand and have come out the other end with a positive experience to tell! X

@toastofthetown oh that's just what you wanted to hear 🙈
Thank you, we're not ready to even think about that. Plus, he's still next to me, I cant imagine how hard it must be to sleep train when you share a room.
This new sleep infrastructure - when does it settle into their normal way of sleeping? Is it around the 5/6 month mark then? Is this usually when things start to improve sleep wise, or just when you know it's going to be bad for a while? 😬
My LO has had to have an early bedtime tonight due to a missed nap, and already woken after less than an hour 😢 normally his first stretch is a couple of hours at least. Dreading tonight already, we're so sleep deprived 😓

@NovemberFlush in my experience… no… @OhHellolittleonewe also did some gentle sleep training.

there was no leaving them to cry, but it wasn’t tear free. At the beginning I stayed in the room and reassured by picking up and putting down… then then time got longer, then we stepped out of the room… came back in to reassure etc.

My 9 month old wakes roughly 2hrly overnight but often more often, and 1-2 nights a week he will have stretches of being up for like 2hrs in the middle of the night.

Totally exhausting so I feel you. If you Google 'BASIS sleep Durham university' or something similar you should find the BASIS webpages. Lots of evidence based information about infant sleep there.

I’m sorry to tell you but the regressions are pretty much continuous until 8/12 months (in my experience). I sympathise I know it’s hard but it gets better. My DD is 15 months and ONLY just got back into a routine

There's nothing a gp will be able to do.. you have to either wait it out and hope it gets better, or do some sleep training

There is no exact answer for this.

My first baby pretty much slept through from 3 months old, few episodes of night waking but usually when poorly, or teething and they would last a few weeks. She always woke up by 6am though, she could fall asleep at 2am and be up at 6am. Shes 16yo now, still gets up at 6am..

Second baby didn't sleep through till 9 months old. Up until then he woke around every 45 minutes, sometimes managed to resettle himself and sometimes needed help. He's now 14yo, he's not out of bed yet haha

Third baby spent the first 6 months sleeping in 10-30 min segments, then until she was 14 months old she was up every 2 hours like clockwork. Then suddenly, at 14 months she stopped nursing (literally fed for a nap and then refused to ever feed again) and started sleeping through after a handful of rough nights. Would happily sleep 13 hours. She's 13 now, she still rocks herself to sleep like she did as a baby. Her hair looks like she stuck her finger in a plug socket as she rubs her head back and forth over her pillow..

So, im afraid, no exact science to babies. All mine were parented the same, all very different.

Sorry to hear what you're going through OP. We had it from 4 to 8 months. At 8 months we tried the ferber method of sleep training, have a look. It's pretty gentle as sleep training goes. Worked in 3 nights. Before it I used to go to bed from 8-12, take over from DH then and try to last as long as I could, then get him up early around 5 to take over until he went to work. It was hideous. Also breastfed

@whereisit1 I've looked up Ferber, I'm really worried he'll just cry and scream and it won't work. Then we'll end up even more sleep deprived. Plus he's still in with us, so I'm not sure how that would work.

Last night he started banging his legs against the mattress. And this morning I found him in a crawling position facing my bed, sideways on in the next to me 😅
I'm feeling so wrecked today. My dh is going to work this morning and the thought of parenting is overwhelming on little sleep. I'm really struggling.

Not all breastfed babies feed frequently at night. I fed my son every 2hrs during the day but not at night

Please don't sleep train at 4 months! I know it's god awful being so sleep deprived but it's just too young. Wait until at least 6 months, if you're going to sleep train.

I hope things improve for you soon, OP.

@CommissarySushi no, I really dont want to at all tbh!

I couldn't do it either. I tried the Ferber method once, when I was similarly desperate, and it was horrendous. Hysterical crying for almost an hour and she just got more and more distressed everytime I went in to check on her. Never again.

Her little face covered in tears still makes me feel so guilty. I had to give up and go and get her.

I know it must work for some people but, yeah, I couldn't do that again.

Obviously I cant forsee how things will definitely turn out, but I have a strong feeling this is exactly what would happen here too.
How long was it for you until better sleep for your little girl? Or are you still going through it? 🫣
@CommissarySushi

This sounds like my son when he was a baby. I kept on with the feeding him back to sleep and went on like this for a number of months. We eventually worked out it was silent reflux and that my feeding him was only easing the symptoms. When he was laid back down he would eventually get so uncomfortable that he would either cry or grunt a lot.
We eventually propped his cot up, bought a wedge to go under his mattress and this helped but the big difference was the medication from the doctor. He was better within a matter of days.
I hope things get better for you as I know sleep deprivation is awful!

Baby wants feeding, they are growing so fast, nursed for two years, if you want more sleep feed the baby

Nope I tried this already. He doesn’t want to be fed every wakeup.

It got better!! I'd say around 7 months. She's 9 months now and wakes 1-2 times a night, which is honestly fine with me. She usually goes back down with minimal effort.

Is he still in your room? Maybe when he's in his own room it might get better?

I'm so glad 😊 I'd be happy with a couple of wakeups too, I don't expect him to sleep through. Just hoping for more rest for all of us. 😬
Yes he's in a next to me cot. But I'm worried he'll get too big for it before he is able to sleep better. When did you LO go in her own room?

The size of the cot didn't seem have any effect on my baby. She moved from the next-to-me to the big cot, but still in our room at about 5 months. Then to her own room the day she turned 6 months with no issues at all.

Even just having our bedroom back to ourselves really helped us. I was sad about moving her, but having our space back and not having to sneak around did wonders!

This was my thought as well...can you breastfeed lying on your side? Then co sleeping you can feed back to sleep and be half asleep. You may feel more rested doing this...as even though DH is getting up to soothe baby it sounds like your both awake anyway. 4 month regression is brutal, and ours lasted for weeks and weeks I'm sorry to say. Maybe consider 'shifts' with one of you in another room so you're both getting more of a chunk of sleep?