Why won’t my baby nap in the morning?

[Robin25]

Hello! First time mum looking for some help/advice. My nearly four week old will not nap in the morning at all. He can be awake from 6am to sometimes as late as 1pm. Surely this isn’t normal?
We’re trying to follow a routine where he feeds every four hours, starting at 7am then next feed at 11am then 3pm etc, but between 7am and midday he is just awake constantly wanting more food, he will nap for about 20 mins max and will then be wide awake. He can easily put away 5/6ozs of milk in one sitting and keep it down. I don’t think he’s cluster feeding as he’s been like this for three weeks, only sleeping in the morning for the first few days.

We’ve tried, swaddles, white noise, pram rockers, contact napping, being outside in the pram, swing chairs, he just does not sleep… and I’m at my wits end!
I thought babies nap for hours at a time… why doesn’t my baby? Any advice/help would be greatly appreciated!

So he is napping for 20 mins or so? Is he falling asleep on the bottle?

Why are you restricting him to every 4 hours?? Plus a 20 minute nap is still a nap. Our last little one would feed almost non stop at that stage during some periods of the day and would hardly be put down so carried about in a sling most of the time. Obviously slightly different bottle feeding, but 4 hours still seems a long time to go between feeds. Our little would nap for hours if in the carrier or being held but not generally if put down.

My DS was a very awake baby once he'd woken up to the world. He would easily wake up at 7am for the day and then nap around 09:30/10, before he was 12 weeks old, which is 'technically' way too much awake time. But then he'd nap for 2-3 hours in the sling on me. Then be awake for a few hours again, then do an afternoon 2-3 hours in the sling on me again. Then when he got to about 4 months he switched to following 'typical' wake windows for his age. some babies are just more awake when they are young and you have to convince them to sleep, although sounds like you have been trying! contact naps in the sling were the only thing that worked for my DS.

He is so little and is working it out. Why do you need him asleep? If he is happy, growing, feeding well, that’s all good.

He seems very young to be having feeds and sleeps imposed. He is napping but typically for newborns it is for short sleeps. I would slot in with him , the feeds will get larger and more spaced out and the naps will also get longer and more defined. You will have things to do which is where a sling and a pram are useful and may help to space out the feeds by promoting sleep with movement but otherwise I think your expectations are a bit unreasonable and doomed to failure. I wouldn't expect a baby to go 4 hours between feeds at this age unless they were very large and strong.

4 hours is too long imo for a 4week old to wait for the next feed.

Also 20mins naps on and off in the morning is absoloutley fine! They don't stretch out their naps til older.

I wouldn’t worry too much about the sleep as he is having some. I breastfed but I’m pretty sure the advice is to bottle feed on demand too at this age so I would say if baby wants it give it and don’t worry.
My little one never followed ‘wake windows’ and I have since read they are not evidence based.

Congratulations on your lovely new baby.

Congratulations!

I agree with others. You cant enforce a feeding schedule and naps on such a tiny baby. You should not allow them to go more than 4 hours for a feed, but ideally, feed when they are hungry and let them sleep when they are tired.

Watch out for subtle feeding clues and keep your baby stimulated when they are awake.

You're expecting too much too soon. At that age he just needs milk when he's hungry, he'll sleep when he's tired and all the cuddles and tlc when he's awake. Follow his cues and not some ideal world schedule.

Hi! He’s not falling asleep on the bottle, he’ll drink the whole thing then maybe sleep for 20 mins and wake up again.

That's fine. Guidelines do suggest that if he is regularly drinking a full feed he needs bigger feeds.

Actually we’ve been reassured by our midwife and health visitor that 3-4 hours between each feed is fine for the amount he is drinking so unless you are a medical professional, I’ll take their advice over yours. But thanks.

he is just awake constantly wanting more food

he’ll drink the whole thing

It's not me you're disagreeing with - it's your son.

Every baby is different.

I think it's worth remembering when you're worried - someone wrote the guidelines / the book, you've read the guidelines / the book. But the baby hasn't !

That’s interesting, because the NHS website, as well as your baby, disagrees with them. Please consider feeding him more frequently. He’s so young. Why do you want to impose a routine on him?

It’s funny I remember my ex mother in law telling me stories about how when she had her babies that the advice feed was every 4 hours, except for my ex dh as he was a much smaller baby she was advised every 3 hours. She decided she knew better and opted for every 4 hours and “he was just fine”
Then in the same breath she would say “ oh poor “Dan” when he was a baby he never stopped crying”…I literally wanted to scream

anyway never mind me…you just reminded me of that 🤣

Why don't you discuss your worries with your HV not MN?

Honestly just go with the flow if your baby is hungry just feed him, sleep is all over the place in the early weeks

Best thing is to go with the flow with a healthy infant. Sleep, feed and cuddle as needed. They never fit a plan anyway.

Is he unhappy and obviously tired/struggling to sleep, or just awake when you'd rather he wasn't?

I never bothered with attempting any kind of routine with my babies tbh. They just ate when they ate, slept when they slept, and we were all a lot less stressed out than the friends I had who tried to run things by the clock!

So move the 3 hourly instead of pushing him to 4 when he clearly wants more

Too little for 4 hourly feeds.
Too little for a routine.

You're trying to impose this on him and he's protesting because he's a newborn baby. Let him feed and sleep when he wants and he'll be happier.

Are you following his cues?

If you only want advice from medical professionals ask your HV rather than other mums.