Anyone else finding sleep a major issue?

[CalmTheFireAndWarmTheIce]

So I don’t have children (yet) but I find sleep (or lack thereof) a major problem as I try to navigate health issues (my family and my my own).
sometimes it’s 6/7pm and I’m ready for bed; literally can’t keep my eyes open.
Sometimes I’m awake literally days at a time with stress and worry (and lack of eating, unintentional, medical reasons that are long winded)- then I just crash out.
it disrupts everything- I feel lonely- I feel like I can’t commit to plans- I feel I hardly see hubby even though we share same bed.
i know it’s partly mental, partly physical, but I only seem to sleep in short amounts (full of nightmares) then I’m awake (usually when everyone I know is asleep) and all I do is think- negatively. I usually have a headache and palpitations too.
ive tried all the therapists have to offer; sleep hygiene, distraction, as well as the usual therapies and medications. Just nothing seems to work.
i don’t want to wake up hubby and have him suffering too… I just want some rest!
I feel if I had that I could be more productive and perhaps break the cycle?
the sleep deprivation makes me feel so negative- I just want to be positive for those around me.
anyone out there feeling the same? Any tips?

I don't really have any advice but I couldn't just read and run, I'm so sorry you're struggling.

I'm not sure if it will help but magnesium has always helped me have a better quality of sleep

That’s very kind. Apparently my body just doesn’t respond to hormones (stress/fertility/etc) the way it’s “supposed to”… so yet again here I am at 4am; been awake for 2+ hours, alone obviously, and I have to be awake and on point by 9am…

but all I’m doing is lying here thinking. Did I do/say this wrong yday? What about the day before? What about the year before? What about next week? And I can feel my stomache growling the whole time.

if I could just rest while in bed that’d be one thing- I have never needed a lot of sleep- but I’m not resting; I’m stressing. It’s very lonely.

if I get told one more time to have a long walk or hot bath/drink as well it’ll be 20 years too much.. literally. Or that because I painted my nails (part of coping strategies I have been told to do as I’m into art/beauty) I must be feeling fine…

im not; I’m exhausted.

thank you so much for your kindness x

You sound like me a few years ago when I was told I just had anxiety. I took magnesium which helped regulated my sleep a bit but also discovered I was deficient in B12 and anemic whilst my thyroid was playing up. If you've had issues with weight and memory or anemia maybe some bloods from the Dr to check thyroid and deficiencies would be a good idea? If nothing else it's less to worry about!

thank you so much for your reply.

sorry to hear of your suffering too.

I’ve had all blood tests under the sun, and am deficient in copper, Zinc Sulphate, magnesium, selenium, i think some others… my potassium gets thrown off when I’m unwell, vitamins D and E, and all the B vitamins (including b12 which I get injected every 12 weeks with), thyroid thankfully holding up. I take meds for all as I can’t get them naturally through diet.

b12 got interrupted last year though due to hospital/care home stays and some being less willing than others to give it. My Mum is a nurse so got permission to do it over covid times but it’s up to individual healthcare provider if they’ll allow her (or do it themselves) so I only got it last night which was 4+ weeks overdue… I’m hoping it gives my system a kick because I feel like I’m drowning here… x
hope you’re feeling better 👍🏼

Reading your reply my first thought was anxiety too.

Have you spoke to the doctor? Have they prescribed anything for anxiety at all?

Yes, I’ve been on pretty much every anti-depressant and anti-anxiety med they can throw at me (and combinations of them), and short-term sleeping tablets; then they got really desperate and threw in anti-psychotic meds (I’m not, and never have had a diagnosis of psychosis- they were hoping it would work in an “off label” way), they just made me numb.
When I say “they” btw I mean qualified mental health professionals; GPs, psychiatrists… and I’ve given each a good go, tapering up and down dosages, but none have worked.
The only one I wouldn’t try was lithium; I’d had enough by that point and it meant such regular blood tests it was totally impractical.
As always, I’m open to suggestions though, if anyone has any?
obviously I’ve exhausted all talking therapy options too (including paying privately, but I don’t have the money to sustain that, such is life), which tbh in the past I’ve felt the most useful for my anxiety. I’ve tried journaling but for me at least it just doesn’t really have the same impact as speaking to another human and getting a little feedback!
I do take meds for the palpitations but the dosage bases itself on the assumption you sleep “regular” hours (whatever that means 🤣) and anyone who doesn’t for whatever reason will know that a tablet that’s supposed to last “overnight”; when that could be 1-2 hours or 18 hours; doesn’t really work all too well.
Maybe it’s time to go back to the GP and see if they have new suggestions?
Just a note,
I know this is a long post but I should add that I come from a STRONG maternal line of mental health and related problems; I’m talking back to mid-late1800s; and I think everyone who’s been open about it at least has suffered in some way to some degree.
Also for some reason I don’t respond to a lot of medication; eg. I got surgery recently and even though they said it was working when I recoiled as they began the procedure they realised I wasn’t kidding and I ended up having to have an unplanned general anaesthetic instead.i guess I’m just awkward!

I personally don't know what I would do without my proprananol. I take 10mg x 3 daily and really notice the difference with palpitations and generally feeling calmer. If I had to recommend anything it would be those! Hope you feel better.

I had a relative who couldn’t sleep and just used to lace back and fourth in the night - turns out she was severely deficient in B12 and had to have have infusions.

Yes, I was the same and OP said she has also had the injections.

Ah OP it's so lonely and frustrating being awake in the middle of the night isn't it 😭 I work weird shifts and have to be up at 3.30am some mornings and I just can't sleep the night before! I will be honest and say I was addicted to weed for 10 years because it was the only thing that helped my brain switch off and let me sleep but since having kids I've quit. I find a combination of having nytol (the 50mg) a few times a week to help me sleep and then napping during the day when I'm able to gives me just about enough sleep to get by on. Following to see if anyone has any good tips.

Thank you for all of your responses and I am very sorry to hear of others suffering.
I feel insomnia is an under-rated problem- like when I first mentioned it to a doctor the response I got was “we don’t all sleep well every night”- yes I get that; but I’m talking about every night (or most) for years- that’s different. It impacts your mood, ability to do things during the day; and there’s often a connotation that you’re “lazy” when it’s just like nope, I’ve had a couple hours sleep at best, would you be so full of zing if I woke you up in the middle of the night and demanded you did your job/chores/etc.?
I take Propranalol for the palpitations too btw, it does help in that regard!
ive tried alternative medicine as well like acupuncture/teas and massage. Literally everything I can think of…
I know this somewhat brings up a new discussion but when we paid privately for help I basically got thrown in the bin (size 12 UK) because I’m “overweight” (obviously I’m not, but what does that even matter?) that didn’t exactly help…
my hubby on the other hand was suggested ketamine and cannabis derivatives for his pain condition (even though he actually is a bit overweight); I just thought it unfair yet again that women’s health seems to be ignored/overlooked; no matter what it is… thank you all for your support

I agree ref Propranalol, sometimes it’s only thing that helps? If it’s not too personal would you mind me asking if you take them at regular intervals? My box just says “as prescribed by hospital”, and I have never been able to get to the bottom of what that actually means… So sorry you’re also struggling x

@CalmTheFireAndWarmTheIce you sound just like me. Raging insomnia that I've had since I was a teenager. Never found anything that helps so can't help you there. When did you last have your thyroid checked because honestly you have all the symptoms I had and I was diagnosed with overactive. Am on 80mg propanalol for the palpitations which do help but you realise they do also cause insomnia too don't you? No advice as I'm a mess myself but solidarity because it really is shit

Can I join? I literally do not sleep at all some nights. I give uo trying about 3.30 am and just get up. A good night is, these days, maybe five hours long.

I absolutely agree with the hidden consequences of being unable to plan, and of course there's a viscous circle of exhaustion reducing mind and body's ability to manage stress meaning less sleep meaning more exhaustion...

I have tried every single bloody thing. It's debilitating and life sapping.

so sorry for your suffering but thankful for your response.
at the last count I was on 20+ meds a day, all different times, which doesn’t help (but the insomnia came before all of that).
I have to take steroids for a different illness; which keep you awake too. So right now I’m thinking do I stay awake for next med round? Or do I prioritise some sleep?
I actually didn’t know that ref Propranalol, all I knew was they calmed me enough (palpitations wise) to sleep.
thyroid last checked in September of last year. Seems to be doing fine miraculously… do have strong family history of problems with it though.
can a person be pre- thyroid recording levels you think? I’ve just always suspected (like you) that it’s not quite right…
thank you x

so sorry for your suffering but thankful for your response.
at the last count I was on 20+ meds a day, all different times, which doesn’t help (but the insomnia came before all of that).
I have to take steroids for a different illness; which keep you awake too. So right now I’m thinking do I stay awake for next med round? Or do I prioritise some sleep?
I actually didn’t know that ref Propranalol, all I knew was they calmed me enough (palpitations wise) to sleep.
thyroid last checked in September of last year. Seems to be doing fine miraculously… do have strong family history of problems with it though.
can a person be pre- thyroid recording levels you think? I’ve just always suspected (like you) that it’s not quite right…
thank you x

Really sorry you’re suffering too…
it is so debilitating and I don’t feel taken seriously enough.
its not just a one off rubbish sleep, it’s daily, all consuming, and affects every aspect of positive lifestyle.
im hoping for some tips and help too.
what have you tried so far?
thinking of you x

Hmm. That’s interesting about being low on the B vits and insomnia. When tested, I'm always on the low end but not low enough for NHS infusions.

I’ve had it for about 25 years. I’ve done the overthinking, the GP visits, the counselling, ADs, prescribed medication, OTC meds, the eating/drinking….the NOT eating/drinking 🤯. The lot.

However, I’ve come back to under thinking this.

I use a double dose of Magnesium Bisglycinate before going to bed. Stay away from other versions of magnesium because you’ll be up in the night for other reasons!

I have an app called Insight Timer (free to download) and I have a range of Yoga Nidra wind downs on it. I gently force myself to listen to what they’re saying.

Interestingly if I do wake up in the night, I’m mega chilled from the magnesium.

Im not sure if any of this will help you @CalmTheFireAndWarmTheIce but it might give you hope, or will help someone else.

Meanwhile you have my deepest sympathies

I would suggest you seek an urgent medication review. 20 meds and you still feel this shit?

Hiya, I am an insomniac too, not all my life, but certainly the last 25 years, and it seems to be worsening, not improving.

I agree that insomnia doesn't seem to be regarded as "that much of a problem" by GP (s), and sympathetic noises from friends and family serve to make me feel pathetic 😱

Sleep deprivation can be used (and has been) as a form of torture, so I don't understand why it's all just swept under a carpet.

I was given a sleep clinic appt, the letter came through and it was for a years time.
I got to a week before the appointment, then it got cancelled, and my replacement appt is yet another year.

I do take supplements, I don't actually know if they help me, because without cutting them out, I won't know whether they make a difference.

OP, I'm not averse to trying "alternative" suggestions.
So, I've read from Dr Barbara O'Neill that burning a bay leaf (rather like an incense stick) can bring feelings of calm and therefore could have a positive affect on sleep.

I'm happy to give it a try for, say a month.
What have I got to lose?

I also want to get a Rosemary (herb) plant, and put that on my bedroom windowsill, as that is also supposed to help us insomniacs.

Other posters, please be kind with my comments, constantly feeling tired, or suddenly being struck down with overwhelming sleepiness, and then NOT sleeping, is bloody awful.

I guess anything "alternative" is regarded with suspicion at best, and derision at worst.

Op, I wish you luck in seeking relief, it's no fun, and I'm so understanding your dilemma.

I used to get sleeping tablets from the doctor when I lived in Spain which worked great, zopiclone. The GP in UK won’t prescribe them. I’ve ended up buying sedating antihistamines from boots which work but even these are not supposed to be used long term 🤷

Fellow insomniac signing in. I've had it since I was in my teens and am mid 50s now.

I'm suffering quite badly at the moment, due to some emotional stress that's going on, but even in 'good' times I've never had the feeling of having had a good night's sleep and waking up feeling rested. I nap most afternoons.

The doctor just had me have the full range of blood tests so I'm waiting to see if anything is thrown up then- I've been tested for diabetes/anaemia multiple times and it's never that.

Medication-wise- I've had Zopiclone in the past, but got to a stage where even that didn't work. I bought some amazing anti-histamines in the US a few years ago and they worked a treat, but you can't get them here. My friend got her mum to pick some up for me when she last went but I haven't seen her yet.

Currently trying Kalms (2 tablets 3 times a day) but I don't think they're helping much- I was awake at 4 am.

As my insomnia is mostly mind-driven (stress; fear of not sleeping etc) I've found one of the best things is a headband with earphones in that's comfortable to sleep on. I listen to audio books- books I've read and enjoyed, and I screen the reader before buying to see if their voice is soothing yet engaging enough to distract my brain. It works quite well sometimes.

Huge sympathies to everyone- it's a horrible thing to live with. I'm lucky because my doctor is brilliant and never fobs me off, but I think even he is at a loss sometimess.

And if you ask the doctor for sleeping pills they treat you like an addict. Sometimes a two week course of zopiclone can just provide some temporary relief but it's so hard to get them now

I got the best sleep of my life last year leaving coke, tea and screens aside. I read before bed, I cut down on sugar (was all more because of stomach issues). Now I’m back looking at screens and drinking too much tea (have nearly given up coke) and sugar I’m back to zombie land, I sleep for two or three hours tops. It sucks but they keep me going during the day!

Thank you so much for all of your responses! Though I’m really sad to hear of your suffering; genuinely.
I’m of the opinion that if it works for you; doesn’t harm anyone else; or yourself; then go for it! That’s why I’ve tried so many different western and non-traditional remedies. I’d be delighted to find and recommend something! Trust me, if/when I do I’ll be the first to comment!
I’ve had zopiclone before innumerable occasions; my GP & I have a good relationship (professionally speaking) and she knows I don’t take meds lightly (the amount I’m on is due to other medical issues, but it takes me and hubby 1 hour + each week to fill my medication box- not exactly fun)!
Zopiclone has knocked me out for a few hours then I’m raving ready to go! I think you can get stronger doses in USA/continental Europe etc. but haven’t found a willing Dr in UK.
i used to listen to chat shows on headphones just as noise to drown out the thoughts…
as always I’m open to suggestions or anything Or even just if you want to vent; please do so! Or ramble like me… 🤣
you’re all so kind ❤️