Baby won’t nap I’m going insane for the love of god help

[Manumama]

Please please please I’m gone past my wit’s ends anybody help.

This baby WILL NOT NAP.

We have been sleep training our nearly 9 month old for the past 10 days or so, Ferber method but with the dummy. He now goes to sleep very well independently (albeit with dummy) at night time and largely sleeps through except when he loses his dummy: we go in, give him it and he’s off snoozing immediately again.

The issue is with daytime sleep. We tried the same Ferber training at day time, but he never once actually slept with it, no matter how long we try for. The only way he was napping so far is by rocking him in the baby carrier with white noise on in a pitch black room and dummy. You’d rock him for a good 20 mins and he’d eventually fall asleep and you’d transfer him into the cot and he’d have a good nap.

Now for the past week this has also stopped working. I rock him this way for sometimes up to an hour and it’s just not working anymore.

He does not sleep in the buggy, even with the blackout cover on. He does not sleep in the car. He looks completely knackered but will not sleep, no matter what I do.

I am so frustrated I cry daily.

I have been thinking sod it, I just won’t try any more, he can stay awake all day. But the truth is, he is a very needy baby who won’t just be happy to be in the jumperoo. He wants constant crawling or holding. So really his naps are just a break for me or at least a chance to shower or eat or literally do anything else. I cannot live like this.

Right now he’s upstairs crying in his cot while I’m downstairs writing this. I just had to leave him for a minute because I couldn’t bear it any more.

I am at a loss.

Please anybody with ideas or solutions. Please help.

Side note - we only keep the dummy at sleeping times, not during the day. We tried to get rid of it but he just seems to stubborn to let it go.

She’s almost one so unfortunately not a phase. Or not a young baby phase at least. Maybe toddler naps will be more her thing.

My 1 year old was like that until she turned 1. She sleeps 1-2 hours a day now (one nap after lunch). There's literally nothing you can do.

No advice but lots of sympathy from me! God, I remember being so bloody stressed by sleep and naps. It WILL pass, and when DC is a teen you'll be laughing and how you can't get them out of bed. Sending strength for now ♥️

Just read your latest update - do you think he might be coming down with something? Mine was like this when she was getting poorly!

You really are making life harder for yourself imo. Ditch the app and be guided by your own knowledge of your own baby. I say this as a mum of 9 children aged from 23 to just 4.

@AllTangledUpInTinselAndTiaras ove been thinking of this but space is v limited here sadly! Even the jumperoo (which he hates) takes most of the space! X

@Babyybabyyy omg yes I cannot wait until he only has 1 nap a day!!

@urghhh47 I'm so close to doing this actually! X

@StainlessSeal i have also been wondering but it’s now been a week! Thanks for the support, my 5 year old already needs waking for school so you’re right, it’s temporary! X

My 8-month-old has always been this way, and people don’t realise how challenging it can be. He puts up such a fight when it comes to naps. Until recently, the only place he would sleep was in his pushchair or the car. Now, I can sometimes get him to nap at home, but only in a dark room while feeding him on our bed. Even then, it’s a struggle, but at least I’m managing to get 20 minutes to tackle things around the house.

Getting a good night's sleep is beyond price - and this may be as good as it gets for a while. I know you do not wish to hear that, but it is how it is. I think you need to ditch the idea of daytime naps - they are clearly not his thing - every child is different.

You have the expectation that he will nap during the day, but he is not playing ball, and no amount of trying will change that unfortunately. It will just make you miserable.

Maybe do a lot of walking outside in the pushchair without the expectation of a nap, but just a change of scenery for you and something else for baby to look at.

As long as you are hoping for him to nap you will feel fed up and frustrated. Honestly, the only way is to accept that it is not going to happen and go with that flow. He WILL change as time goes by and this will just be a phase - really.

I have 3 children and 7 GC, for whom I have done lots of care, and they have all been completely different as regards their natural routine - fighting it is the road to frustration.

The only thing that got my DD asleep was to put her in her car seat and drive around until she fell asleep.

Sleep training? It's an infant not a dog!

Sounds awful. So does the dummy.

Why not try the old fashioned way of caring for a baby as mine never had any sleep problems and all these new fangled ideas sound absolutely dreadful.

My dd never napped during the day after she was 8 months old, so yes, you are being unreasonable.

Nothing wrong with sleep training or a dummy!

Mine is 5 1/2 months would only sleep if rocked and then contact nap my back was broke and I nearly had a break down . I've down sleep well with Hannah's course she is a qualified nurse and a background in nutrition so she address the sleep but also food / bottles / weaning . Best money I ever spent and it's gentle as well as I personally just couldn't endure cry it out but each to their own. She has a book but I would really recommend her course and she has a Facebook community for support .

@Attelina well done for never having sleep training or dummy, here’s your medal 🥇.

Now ask yourself why you’re in the absolute minority with this approach.

This was me with DS1 22 years ago. He only ever napped during the day if we drove him round in the car or pushed him in the pram. So that's what we did. He stopped napping completely at one year. Horrid times.

Ds2 napped for two hours without fail every day until he was three.

@Zippedydodah even a very cursory glance at any child rearing book would show that kids nap until they’re about 2 if not later. It’s literally the basics. Just because you do it your way, it’s not necessarily the correct way. There must be a reason why lots of people are responding with their stories of their kids napping and their struggles.

@Sunnnybunny72 it’s crazy how different they can all be! Thanks for your message x

@BackinBlack24 thanks for the tip, I’ll check it out! Basically I tried the retrieving system and the chair system first but he was having none of it so in the end the gradual crying (where you check in every 3, then 5, then 7 mins etc) worked well for us but as I say, only at night time x

I remember using the wonder weeks app and I'm sure there was a 'leap' around nine months so they warn you naps will be more difficult. I think it's just a phase you need to get past. I don't think either of mine napped twice a day after about six months, they were very wakeful! Unless in the car seat - that seemed to work.

@teatoast8 hear hear! ❤️

@Amaranthasweetandfair thsts helpful to know, thank you! X

@caringcarer its unhelpful how specific they are about their napping needs! The car and pram never worked with us cos he’s too keen to look around, the carrier was our only hope until just recently!