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Sleep

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Original poster

4 week old - when does it start getting easier?

50 replies

Gangle · 25/04/2008 19:49

I love DS to bits but am finding being a mum much harder than I thought mainly due to the lack of sleep. DS wakes every 2-3 hours at night to feed which seems to be about right - the problem is that as he gets older he is increasingly difficult to settle once he has fed and one several ocassions has cried all night so that we (and the neighbours) have only got about an hour's sleep. Is this normal behavaviour and are there any solutions for getting him to settle or do we just have to ride it out?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Dropdeadfred · 25/04/2008 19:53

Is he breast fed or bottle fed? Are you ensuring he's had enough? What about adequate winding?
At that age I must admit mine were very sleepy once full and satisfied and therfore evry easy to put back to sleep.

Jzee · 25/04/2008 19:58

I remember these days well and no one can prepare you for the lack of sleep you get with a new baby - but they are all different so no one will be able to really tell you what to expect.

I'm sure you will soon get alot of replies to your message: The only thing that worked for us was having the baby next to our bed in a basinet and rocking the basinet until he went back to sleep - motion and noise allways seemed to work well! I never let DS cry for too long as I allways found it too stressfull for him and me. Good luck and I hope things improve!

Original poster

Gangle · 25/04/2008 20:01

He's breast fed and I'm pretty sure he has had enough as he is is gaining weight quickly (1 lb this week so he now weighs 9lbs 8oz). Think the problem may be winding - I try to burp him for ten minutes or so after each feed but maybe he needs longer to bring up all his wind? The problem is that each night becomes an endless cycle of waking, nappy change, feeding, winding, sleeping for 10 minutes, waking, nappy change . . .

OP posts:

squigglywig · 25/04/2008 20:06

Are all the nappy changes really necessary? I was having similar problems with DD rousing too much overnight and in the end decided to only change the nappy when it really needed doing. A good layer of barrier cream before bed and it made the world of difference. As did feeding until she did that drunk, arms flung above head, flat out sleep thing.

It DOES get easier.

Original poster

Gangle · 25/04/2008 20:09

thanks both. Yes, think the changes are necessary at the mo and DS has nappy rash ( which I feel terrible about) and I also find that if you're checking the contents of the nappy you may as well change it whilst you're there! DS does fall asleep when BF but wakes up a bit when I wind him - should I skip winding him if he has dropped off?

OP posts:

K999 · 25/04/2008 20:13

Hi Gangle......I found that dd2 did not need winded too much after a bf so I used to leave her to it and try and catch up with some much needed kip!

Dropdeadfred · 25/04/2008 20:15

my dd3 hardly needed winding after a breastfeed..hth

Thinkstoomuch · 25/04/2008 20:20

Are you offering the other breast too at each feed? DS possibly isn't full enough if he isn't getting that wonderful blissed out, drunk thing that squigglywig described. Basically aim to feed him to the gills, however long that takes. And possibly try co-sleeping while you get through these weeks - works very well for me and my 8 week DS at the mo.

aGalChangedHerName · 25/04/2008 20:22

All 4 of mine were a bugger to get back down through the night so i have co-slept with them.

I couldn't have survived without sleep and co-sleeping meant i at least got some.

Thinkstoomuch · 25/04/2008 20:25

Also - unless you have reason to think he's a particularly windy baby, e.g. if he really gulps his feeds, I'd not spend much time on winding.

kolakube · 25/04/2008 20:26

Agree with the co-sleeping idea, and the rest of it can sometimes just be a case of trial and error.

It does get better.

Mercy · 25/04/2008 20:27

Have your tried a dummy, swaddling etc.

It does get easier, more around 4/5 months ime.

It is very hard in the early days. How are the daytime sleeps? And do you rest then?

preggersplayspop · 25/04/2008 20:39

Hi, I would agree with other posters about the winding and nappies at night. My BF baby has never been very windy (not from the top end anyway!) so at night I would have him in the moses basket next me and when he woke I would just roll over, pick him up, feed and plonk him back in. We all seemed to get reasonable amounts of sleep that way. I would only change the nappy at night if it was dirty or if it had leaked and he was wet. Good luck, it does get easier!

cosima · 25/04/2008 20:46

This is completely normal. my baby was like this weeks 3 to 6-7. He would cry all night, i would wander the streets in the day crying my eyes out, tried everything, but he is fine now(10 weeks) now wakes up every 3-4 hours in the night which is fine and has a predictable ish routine. You will be fine but i know its hell while it lasts. Take care

Original poster

Gangle · 25/04/2008 20:52

Not tried a dummy as have heard mixed things about them but definitely tempted if it means more sleep. Do they not interfere with breastfeeding? Tried swaddling but he always fights his hands free. Have accidentally fallen asleep with DS in bed with me on a few occasions - I thought co sleeping was not recommended due to the risk of rolling onto them?

OP posts:

Original poster

Gangle · 25/04/2008 20:55

Just finding it really hard to enjoy these first few weeks as so tired I feel like the living dead! I should sleep when DS sleeps during the day (when, mostly, he has absolutely no trouble settling!) but that's the only time I have to get things done and to do things that make me feel normal again, like have a shower or go on MN.

OP posts:

StarlightMcKenzie · 25/04/2008 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Gangle · 25/04/2008 21:01

I always offer both. Yes, averages 7-8 feeds and his weight gain is very good so happy he is feeding enough. Maybe he wants more though!

OP posts:

preggersplayspop · 25/04/2008 21:02

Hi Gangle, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but my DS is nearly a year old and he still wakes at least 2-3 hours , but we co-sleep and I rarely feel tired. I would recommend reading a book called the no-cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley which has some good safety tips for co-sleeping (and also helping with naps etc).

StarlightMcKenzie · 25/04/2008 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

preggersplayspop · 25/04/2008 21:07

I'm used to snoozing in the day now, I find that really helps too. Bring him into the bathroom while you shower, he can sit in a bouncy chair and watch you - my DS was fascinated by the noise of the shower! Don't worry about housework, you can catch up on that when things have settled down more.

BubbaAndBump · 25/04/2008 21:09

It WILL get easier - 4 weeks they're still learning to discover the world they're now in instead of the cosy place they've been for months.

Swaddling was our godsend, also felt a bit funny about dummy and I personally didnt' do co-sleeping as was petrified I'd squish her as was so knackered. I just used a normal muslin to keep arms in, and then sausage-rolled with a cellular as mine was a houdini wriggler too...

Try getting a zinc-based barrier cream, good and thick (our GP got us a massive tub) to help with nappy rash at start - not disturbing him any more than absolutely necessary will make things a lot easier for you - low lights (if any) and no noise, lifting him as short a distance as poss. from cot/crib etc.

Hope this helps - good luck - you're still very early on in his gorgeous little life. Big hugs to you though, as it is tough at the start.

spicemonster · 25/04/2008 21:10

I really sympathise - my DS was dreadful at that age and seemed to cry for about an hour or two after every feed, sleep for an hour and then want feeding again. I found co-sleeping really helped and tbh, letting everything go to pot during the day and catching up when I could. It got better around 6-7 weeks so hopefully your DS will do too. Have you tried infacol? I found that helped a bit.

I really struggled those first few months - you're not alone.

EyeballsintheSky · 25/04/2008 21:18

Gangle, just to balance it out, dd was a bloody nightmare at nights. She's 15 weeks now and started to sleep through at about 11 weeks. She wakes occasionally for a feed around 3ish but mostly goes 11-7. Sometimes she sleeps in her cot by our bed, other nights she'll only sleep on me but she does sleep. I was almost suicidal in the earlier weeks. It DOES get better, promise.

mum2sons · 26/04/2008 10:33

Firstly, it does get easier and you are doing fab..

My DS2 sounds similar to your baby. What helped for us was for my DH to take him out of the room and wind/cuddle him. We worked out that he got fractious as he could smell my milk. Once he was away from me, he seemed to calm down.

With DS3 I have co sleeped and this has really worked wonders. He is in one of those grobags on top of the covers next to me. I have found that I have got much more sleep this way and he has often suckled until he sleeps and falls off.

I agree with leaving out the nappy changes unless really necessary.

Also as it is a 24 hour life with a baby, do sleep in the day if you can. Snuggle up on the bed feeding, draw the curtains, turn off the phone, leave the housework and sleep. Honestly, it has taken me until having 3 children to actually do this! I wish i had taken this advice for my first 2, it really does make the difference having a powernap in the day!

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