Toddler won't sleep until 11pm

[CarolineBryony]

Hey, after some advice.

My 14th month old has co-sept with us for a while now and when she turned one we started training her to sleep in her cot. When she fell asleep on me downstairs we would pop her in her cot and she would settle. She was doing really well with long sleeps until around 3am then would come in with us.

However, recently she's been staying awake until 11pm. When this happens she just sleeps next to me.
I find it difficult to get her to fall asleep in the cot. She's a very "on the go" little girl and is always very active. I have tried bedtime routine and black out blinds but she doesn't want all the attention and just wants to play.
She wakes up around 7am, has a big hour+ nap at around 11 and has her last little nap around 5pm for 30 minutes. This nap has never been a problem because she used to fall asleep at 8pm even with a 5pm nap. She doesn't stop and will literally play until she's exhausted 😴

We are all very happy and content but getting her to sleep in her own little bed is a goal I want to accomplish.

Is it the summer months? It's very light until 11pm or is it just the stage she's going through?

All advice will be helpful

Thank you x

The second nap is far too late. If you want her to go to sleep later I would transition to one nap around 12.30/1 or if you want to try and keep 2 naps you will need to bring them both earlier.

I would drop the 5pm nap and start pushing back the 11am closer to 12.15 after some lunch for 1-1.5hr and then she should be tired enough for bed at 7.30. I think the 5pm one is probably throwing out her sleep. I don't think the daylight helps but if she's up till 11pm I would think it's that afternoon nap keeping her awake

As for cosleeping, this is what worked for us for both children. We got a small double bed and from 2 year would take turns to cosleep with them. Some where between 2.5 to 3 yrs we would do the story and cuddles and say we need to go and do some jobs for 5 mins and would be back, then we stretched it by 5 mins every week talking about how they should try and snuggle down and go to sleep while we were away.

I'm a sleep consultant and I'd say it's a nap imbalance. I'd put her down at 9am is for 45 mins then 1pm at latest for big nap, making sure she's awake by 2:30/3. Her nap is way too late, she prob isn't tired for bedtime at 8pm. If naps switch to those suggested times I'd also bring bedtime closer to 7pm

Thanks for the reply. I struggle to get her to stay awake though, especially when I pick her up from nursery at 5pm and she falls asleep in the car.

Nap from 1.30 to 3..30pm and no other naps. Keep pushing her morning nap forwards until you hit 1.30.
Or could be 12 to 2 but that makes lunch awkward

Then she will be tired at 7pm.

I have come across people moving bath and bedtime story to other parts of the day so that toddler doesn't get hooked on a long overstimulating bedtime routine...it's an interesting idea but I always found a long afternoon nap sorted the day out, and I did do bath story song and bed and it worked fine. Unfortunately at three years things did change...bedtime routines can come unstuck. 11pm is too late ....yes you get a break in the day but at the expense of losing your evening and also activities in the day which are possibly more toddler friendly!! ie playgrounds aren't suitable for evening use

Most parents struggle to keep them awake after nursery, I’d pop her straight in the bath when she’s home to keep her going then into jammies and then bed by 7. It’s what we do with my 2 year old, he doesn’t nap anymore and we don’t co-sleep tbf but that late nap is obviously the killer

So if she is at nursery could they start moving her nap forwards?

Some days she will have a nap at 9am until 11am, then 4pm until 5pm.
What would I do in that case?

Talk to nursery about establishing a new nap routine. I'm surprised they're letting her nap around 11 as nursery lunchtime is usually around 12 and then all toddlers down to sleep after lunch.

Yesterday she slept for 3 hours in nursery (12-3) had a little 20 minute nap in the car at 5pm but still didn't sleep until 11pm. I'm a little confused 🫤

If you do a long morning nap you will find she starts waking earlier in the morning (bitter experience). You definitely want to aim for one big nap at lunchtime- as close to midday as you can and restrict to 2 hrs max. My dd (a strapping teenager now!) was like yours and very active. She could take big nap changes quite well as long as they followed the same pattern each day. Aim for quieter activities as you approach the nap so that she's not too overstimulated.

She's only in nursery 2 days a week and usually it's around 12pm nap time but she gets tired and sleeps at home around 11am :)

Children rarely give up and lie down they will play and bounce off the walls the more tiered they get and once over tiered just like us they don't settle. What signs are you looking for?
I would lie her down in a darkened room do a story say goodnight and turn away from her slightly so no eye contact putting a gentle hand on her and laying her back down without saying anything. To start she will cry just like any child not getting their own way or experiencing change but it doesn't take many days before you see a change.

Where do you live that it's light until 11....9.30 sunset here...but black out blinds help.
The 5pm is too late one lunch time nap moving to after lunch should help.

Really like this idea- thank you

Lunch at 11.30, nap 12 to 2 with no other nap. You'll have a tough few weeks getting there but it should really help.

When she's at home does she nap in her cot?
Do you put her down when she is awake so that she is learning to self settle? Putting her in the cot asleep isn't helpful.

She is prob falling asleep because she is tired come 5pm on the drive but if you work on a later nap and a bit of distraction in the car on way home, she shouldn't fall asleep then she will be ready for bed 7pm

Even 20mins at that time is enough to prolong bedtime, is the drive long?

Even start with the days that she is not in nursery seeing as she is only there two days a week. She will be tired as you say come 11 but just push her each day a little further towards 12:30/1pm naptime and she will get there.

It’s the 5pm nap + the late daylight that’s the issue.
You’re gunna have to move her first nap later and scrap the second one.
my son ditched his 2nd nap (2pm) at around 12-14 months x

Far too much daytime sleep that’s also badly timed. At that age they typically move from 2->1 naps and you would want a nap after lunch of max 2 hours (wake her and ask nursery to do the same) and that’s it until bedtime, which should be minimum 4 hours after waking. So 12-2pm or 1-3pm nap and bed about 7pm. If she’s tired at 11am at home that’s probably because the night sleep has been lacking so you’re stuck in vicious cycle of not enough overnight sleep means she’s tired too early, then because that nap was so early she can’t get through to bedtime and is trying to nap at 5. So take her out, play in the garden, feed her favourite foods for lunch, keep it busy and exciting to push through until 12.

Then on nursery days do whatever you can to stop her sleeping in the car on the way home. I’d pull out the big guns and give her an ipad or your phone to watch cocomelon because that really is toddler crack plus a snack and a drink. Obviously be careful of foods that could be choking hazards in the car but something like a yoghurt pouch and a carton of juice will be fine. Whatever it takes. Then ditch the screen once you’re through the transition because ideally you wouldn’t be giving them to a child that young, but if it were me I’d do anything to fix an 11pm bedtime!

She obviously doesn’t need the 5pm nap that is insane no wonder she’s awake till 11pm. Try making her first nap longer. My 2 year old does 11-1 since he was 1. Goes to bed at 6.30/7 for 12 hours (trust me be used to be the worst sleeper and napper!!). My oldest had the same routine by 14 months

Get rid of that last nap and just have 1 x long lunch nap of 1.5-2 hours!

Nap transitions are hard. They seem to need the sleep in the day but it makes for a tough evening as they are having too much day sleep. I would play around with suggestions from others and see what works for your little one. Remember that a change needs to be implanted for a few days or more to see an effect. If it were me I would try and transition to one lunchtime nap.

for the trip from nursery; my eldest will fall asleep in car regardless of tiredness, we have to give him an iPad to stay awake or it really messes up bedtime. Even a 10-15 minute sleep can prolong bedtime by hours. Keeping him awake on any journey returning from anywhere is a task!