Toddler won't sleep until 11pm

[CarolineBryony]

Hey, after some advice.

My 14th month old has co-sept with us for a while now and when she turned one we started training her to sleep in her cot. When she fell asleep on me downstairs we would pop her in her cot and she would settle. She was doing really well with long sleeps until around 3am then would come in with us.

However, recently she's been staying awake until 11pm. When this happens she just sleeps next to me.
I find it difficult to get her to fall asleep in the cot. She's a very "on the go" little girl and is always very active. I have tried bedtime routine and black out blinds but she doesn't want all the attention and just wants to play.
She wakes up around 7am, has a big hour+ nap at around 11 and has her last little nap around 5pm for 30 minutes. This nap has never been a problem because she used to fall asleep at 8pm even with a 5pm nap. She doesn't stop and will literally play until she's exhausted 😴

We are all very happy and content but getting her to sleep in her own little bed is a goal I want to accomplish.

Is it the summer months? It's very light until 11pm or is it just the stage she's going through?

All advice will be helpful

Thank you x

My daughter is a similar age. Goes to nursery 3 days a week. Up around 6:30. Naps roughly has a 2 hours nap sometime between 11-2 (has to work around the school run). No more naps after that though! She’s our second and we always use to call naps after 4pm the danger zone!!
If she’s really tired she will sometimes have to go to bed at around 6:30 but I try to keep her up until 7pm. Always goes to bed with a bottle, black out blinds, night light and tonie box. My niece is having similar issues (up all night, 2 naps in the day) it’s because they are extra tired from a lack of sleep at night.
I would establish the routine while she’s off with you, then hopefully it will become a habit. In the car get a mirror so you can see her, play nursery rhymes or whatever she likes loud and sing, even give her a little snack to eat on the way home. Anything to keep her awake!
Ours can be evil at around 5 as she’s tired but we just push through.
Good luck!

You need to drop the 5pm nap and transition to one nap in the afternoon, after lunch

Just because something wasn't a problem before doesn't mean it won't be a problem later.
Cut the 2nd nap out. She shouldn't sleep after 3pm.

I agree with others that the 5pm nap is too late now. What worked before when she was younger won't now that she's 14 months and needing longer wake windows before bed. A good 4 hours at least at that age worked for my little girl. Obviously if she falls asleep in the car that's unavoidable and I would wake her as soon as you get home and push bed time back that night until possibly 9pm and see what happens

Another one who thinks it’s the late nap. Just because she used to sleep at 8 despite a late nap doesn’t mean it will stay that way- wake windows get longer as they get older and they need more ‘sleep pressure’ to be able to fall asleep.
I know it’s hard to keep them awake at that time sometimes. I usually found a bath could be helpful or some fresh air. Also don’t be afraid of an earlier bedtime. If she needs to go down for the night at 6:30-7 so be it

could be the summer. I’m not sleeping either

Yeah drop the 5 pm nap. Could be a leap.

and if she’s still happy and functional look into what they call a montisori floor bed? Basically make the room safe, put bed on the floor. And let them play quietly alone till they fall asleep.

you might feel yours is maybe too young for this yet, but sounds like a night owl so worth looking at for the future.

I do find this an obvious answer

5pm nap is far to late

Yes it is hard to keep her keep up sfter nursery pick up b it if you do you can get them to sleep at 7pm. Problem solved

Yesterday she slept for 3 hours in nursery (12-3) had a little 20 minute nap in the car at 5pm but still didn't sleep until 11pm. I'm a little confused 🫤

Not sure what you're confused about. That's far too much sleep during the day. They need to go for one lunch nap at that age & then you just force them to stay awake until bedtime. It sounds harsh but that's the only way you will get her to go to bed at a normal time.

I'm also surprised nursery allow a 3 hour sleep - usually they have a strict routine & pretty sure 3 hours would be longer than usual.

Update: things are slowly getting better and she's been going to sleep 8pm and once at 7pm. But how do I start helping her sleep in her cot from co/sleeping?( this was in my original question) thanks :)

Things are improving slowly. We have completely removed her afternoon nap and she's now going to sleep at 8pm.

As in the original question, any advice on helping her to sleep in her cot from co-sleeping? Thanks

I know you don't want to hear it but it's the second nap!!! At this age my dd dropped to 1 nap, from 11-1pm. Her late bedtime is a clear sign you need to rethink naps.

My first born was very similar, he hated his cot. We got a small camp bed and put it next to our bed. OK not ideal, but it worked, he would go to sleep in his bed around 9 and sleep all night. When he was around 4 we decorated his own bedroom with what he wanted, got him a small bed and told him when he was ready, he could sleep in there, which he did soon after. With my second son, it was completely different, he loved his cot, zonked out at 8pm every night, even if he had 3 hours sleep in the day. I was more relaxed with second baby and I think in turn he was a more relaxed baby.

@CarolineBryony

We have completely removed her afternoon nap and she's now going to sleep at 8pm.

Well that's good news.

I do a form of gradual withdrawal. Get comfortable sit beside bed use a gentle hand on lo but no eye contact or speaking even if they get up lay them down. Once that works after a few days, I start to remove the hand then next step move away a bit. Takes a few weeks and you have to be consistent.