ds almost 3 and waking up in the night, didn't used to

[MNersanonymous]

Since we went on holiday a few weeks ago ds (nearly 3) has been waking in the night more.
He wakes at 2am some nights, other nights not until 6am but then will go back to sleep for an hour or two.

He is fine in the evenings.

He recently transferred to a proper bed but this started just before that anyway and he seems quite happy in the bed.

When we go in he either asks to be tucked in better, for his teddy etc.

If it were always the same reason it would be easier to solve but I think it's just a habit he's got into.

He's always been a good sleeper until now. H e does go back to sleep quickly so I can't complain and I know people deal with worse but I'd like to solve this as it is still tiring!

Should I just go cold turkey and stop going in? I'd feel bad about that because he might then end up without his comforter/ covers etc.

I am totally boring/ uninteractive when I go in already and it's not helping.

I suppose I sort of have had that conversation with him. And the weird thing is, he seems so fiercely proud in his role of older brother, and at bedtime is more than happy to ensure his baby brother is happy, asleep, comfortable, has his teddy etc....

I have to really bite my tongue too though, as at 2am, it can be that DS2 will start stirring from all the comings and goings in their room,..... and I am trying to get rid of that feed in the middle of the night anyway. I am often VERY close to shouting "look what you've now done, woken up your brother--- raaa raaaa argh argh....", which would of course be entirely counterproductive and not the kind of message I want to give him. Ie you are naughty, you have to behave because of your brother, it is all your brother's fault you cannot play in the middle of the night.... IYSWIM.
I try the 'it's sleeping time now, Papa is asleep, mama is asleep, X/baby is asleep, and you need to sleep too. We can all play tomorrow'. So far, needless to say, not working.

Gosh that must be so hard with the two of them and tiptoeing around in the night - very stressful!

Apologies for saying sister when he has a little brother!

Same here. Ds1 was 3 last Sept and has been waking on and off ever since. We went through a really bad phase around Christmas when he would stay awake and continually cry/moan for about an hour at a time, now though he wakes most nights (random times), comes into our room and asks us (either me or dh) to "come and sit in my room" - no reason. TBH one of us just gets up and goes in because it's easier at the time - to sit in the armchair in his room for a few mins (he drops off pretty quickly usually) then come back to bed.

Sorry this is no help whatsoever! We've found that if we don't go in he just gets into a state and stays awake for longer and gets really upset - nightmare. He seems definitely to need some comfort/reassurance and I don't want to deny him that. (It's a phase, it's a phase....)

I do realise though we are not exactly tackling the issue, but with ds2 being 22 mths and only just sleeping well (touching wood here) and dc3 due any day now getting up for a few minutes here and there in the night doesn't seem too bad...

As I said "it's a phase..."

PS 2-3 nights a week though are bliss with neither ds1 or ds2 waking at all - just me with my pregnant bladder! As I said, it doesn't seem to bad though because soon it will be back to full-on night feeds

too bad

I'm also going through this problem with DS1 and it's driving me and DH potty! He will be 3 at the end of May and also been a good sleeper generally. Shortly after DS2 was born (a year ago on Sat!) he started having night terrors but they were also triggered by overtiredness/stress etc. The frequency of the terrors has reduced greatly and I don't think the current wakings are the same thing at all.

Anyway a couple of weekends ago we had a night away and left both DS at my mum's. It was the night of the clock change. I am also going back to work on Monday and our new nanny started last week. I have been leaving the boys with her to get everyone used to each other. Since getting home from my mum's he has woken at around midnight and again around 5 EVERY night. He is in a bed (has been for about 6 months) and a nappy. He gets up and stands in the hallway/comes into our room screaming for me and there's always a reason - cold/itchy/nightmare etc. If DH goes to him he becomes hysterical. He does resettle relatively quickly although this is getting more difficult too. He also always asks to come into our bed which does happen at the second waking as then we all get some more sleep! At the earlier waking we say no or allow him just 5 mins which he accepts.

We're not sure what to do about it - is it just a phase? Should we be much stricter with him? To be honest I am pretty quick in responding to him as he's out of his bed and I don't want DS2 to get woken. I think it's got to be linked with the new nanny starting but I've not yet gone back to work so now dreading that! The fact that so many others are experiencing the same thing suggests to me that it might just be a phase - but I don't want it to become a habit. Aaaggghhh!

Sorry this was so long!

I think we should all take heart that there seem to be soooo many 3yr olds doing the same sorts of things. Therefore, I am going to console myself with the fact that this is a phase, as long as I do not pander to the behaviour, he'll grow out of it, and that it is not the worst thing in the world to give my little boy a cuddle, or let him crawl into my bed for 5 minutes, if he happens to be feeling lonely or in need of some comfort.

MNanon- thanks for your sympathy! :0) That's exactly what it feels like sometimes. Creeping around from one child to the next!