still feeding your over one year old to sleep ?

[tomps]

Not much success so far with my 'no tears' approach to sleep training, as my 13 month old dd refuses to be comforted by me without me getting a tit out. All those books suggest that she will NOT just grow out of this - can anyone out there prove them wrong ? Do you still feed your toddler to sleep ? Did you feed your toddler to sleep as long as it was required and s/he just grew out of it ? Or will I be forced to join the 'cry it out' club ? All tips gratefully received - cheers.

Bleive it or not I was still 1 bottle a night feeding my 17 mo old ds. He would wake up once crying everynight for that bottle. Something that I could of worked harder on but didnt. He eventually stopped one night and then didnt need it anytime after. Thank God he stopped on his own because I probally would still be doing it just for him to go back to sleep. My dh and I did try the crying thing but it didnt work to well because my ds was in our room and dh wasnt getting the rest he needed for his job. We gave up would of kept it up though if he was in his own room. Godd luck.

I'm still feeding my 11 month old dd to sleep. Recently she has started to remove herself from the breast whilst she is still drowsy, and falls asleep on my shoulder, so I'm hoping that this is the start of going to sleep without a tit. (Still wants it if she wakes in the night though).

Hope someone else out there can reassure us both!

tomps - I fed my child to sleep till he was about 2.5 but in retrospect he didn't need it for this long. One night dh just lay with him and cuddled him in the dark till he fell asleep and he didn't need me. I was so surprised. He then soon went into his own bed no bother. I would say she may want to do it for 18 months - 2 years, but maybe you don't want to feed for as long as this. but whatever yes they do grow out of it.

I fed my ds last thing at night until he was 1 year old. He stopped of his own accord around that time. Sometimes he would go to sleep on the boob, but we always had to clean his teeth afterwards, so it roused him again. He then went to bed half asleep, or awake, and learnt to be on his own.

Everything he had done development wise has been of his own accord. I did do controlled crying at 8 months, as he was still waking 2-3 times a night, but other than that, I have always let him lead the way. It seems to have all fallen into place most of the time, and we now have a good sleeper, who generally does 7.30-7.30.

My suggestion is to let your child have milk if she wants it, as she will let you know when she doesn't (mine kept biting my nipple, which made me realise that he wasn't interested! - ouch )

I fed my ds asleep until he was about 14 mo. when I got pregnant (on purpose) again and it started hurting too much. My dh put him to bed for a week or so (without the bf obviously) and after that he completely forgot that it even existed and I was able to to put him to bed again. I'm not sure we even had any tears.

I always fed mine to sleep and they all stopped feeding without any fuss ( except from me with no.4).
With ds no.1, I didn't know much better and gave him a bottle of cows milk at 11 months because my mum said it was about time I stopped! He screamed with a sore tummy for hours so I then just put him down without a feed or drink and he went off to sleep no bother.
No.2 stopped at 10 months because I was pregnant with no.3 and felt hellish. Again I just put him down after his bath without a feed or drink and he slept straight away.
No.3 stopped himself at 14 months. but liked a cup of milk before going to bed. He still does and is 12 years old.
No.4 stopped herself at 15 months and I was devastated because she was my last baby and was still tiny in comparison to the boys. Unfortunately she bit me and I yelled out. This gave her a fright and she would not go back on. I tried for 2 weeks, offering her feeds - even when she was fast asleep. I had been through the biting stage with the others and it had never lasted very long. She just caught me by surprise.
She also then went to bed after her bath with nothing else to drink.

The message is they all stop sometime and may even go on for a while with just one feed. If I was doing it all again I would have fed for much longer. It is so sad that I can never experience that lovely feeling again

Oh mears - how sad, it is a shame to stop so suddenly. That happened with my sister too.

Chinchilla - I was surprised you cleaned your ds teeth - it is generally not thought necessary to clean teeth after breastmilk.

I think I read somewhere that even breastmilk can be a problem for teeth, particularly if feeding in the night continues once the child has teeth. I'm not sure I'd risk cleaning teeth if child had gone to sleep though!

Dd2 stopped bfing at night gradually, after she discovered her thumb at the advanced age of 18mths. She's six now and I'm trying to wean her off the thumb. She's decided that even Stop'n'Grow is bearable to taste if it isn't on too thickly. Still, it's better than having to put Stop'n'Grow on my boobs, isn't it??

For most babies night-time b/feeding should be OK. However around 20% of the population can have high levels of acid producing bacteria (strep mutans) which can cause decay. More care should be taken with these children. However to some extent human milk itself is protective against dental caries. The enzymes lactoperoxidase and lactoferrin, both found in breastmilk, reduce oral bacterial counts. Lactoperoxidase also protects both the mother's breast and the child's intestinal tract from infection.

Tissy - I'm reassured - are you ?! Because mostly it's really not a problem for me to feed her off to sleep - it's a part of our routine and I really like to end the day that way too. I was worried in case she would have big problems with getting herself off to sleep when we eventually phase out b/fing, but hopefully she'll be like these other little people and just not need it any more. I prefer to follow her lead too Chinchilla, I'm constantly amazed at what she's started doing with no prompting from me. But mostly it's been other people who've shown such surprise at me putting her to bed this way - I thought I was abnormal, having a toddler who can't just be put to bed, so it's great to know I'm not. So thanks everyone for sharing your experiences - did anyone else have a problem with other people's attitudes ?

Tomps - my dd2 has just this last week started going to bed awake ! She is 18mns.

She still has a bottle lying in our arms last thing (we did this for so long as she had bad reflux and the only way to stop her bringing all her last feed up was to put her in bed asleep), but as her speech has really come on this last couple of weeks, we say when she has finished her bottle 'do you want to go to bed' and she says 'yes'!!!

I did wonder how long we would have to do a 'baby feed' for, but it has appeared to have stopped when she was ready - like most things !

She does sometimes cry for a minute or so, but also has started talking and playing with her skippy (a dog) for a bit before nodding off - a real sign she is growing up!

I think she will be ready for sitting up with her milk and a story soon like her big sister who is 2.10

HTH

My DD is 14mths, she has very recently started going down in bed awake and drifting off by herself, before that she was always b/f to sleep - no training involved - she did it when she was ready

She does b/f back to sleep during the night but will also cuddle up to DH and go off without it sometimes - that's recent too. It will come with time

Brushing teeth after breastmilk? isn't there something about the milk doesn't pool in the mouth in the same way as it does with bottles so not a problem with tooth decay?

Peoples' attitudes stink - I get comments because I'm still b/f my toddler never mind the crap about 'she'll never sleep by herself' etc. but I just don't care anymore, I'll do it my way, baby's way, not their way

don't assume that breastmilk is safe for teeth. A friend's child developed a classic case of what is usually known as 'baby bottle mouth' (i.e. teeth coming through brown and decayed) as a result of frequent breastfeeding through the night. Not nice.
(that said, I still haven't started brushing ds's teeth after his last drink before bedtime - must start that soon!!)

Yes, tomps I am reassured. My Mum and SIL were also visiting this weekend. Mum has had 5 kids and SIL 4. Both breastfed their babies to sleep, and neither could remember how they got out of the habit, so presumably it must have been a gentle no-angst process!

Am still b/feeding 26-month old dd! Maybe I've made a rod for my own back (or boob...) but we both enjoy it still. Did similar with ds, and seem to remember stopping with him took a little while (eeek), but wasn't Too traumatic. I never thought I'd be an Earth Mother, but you learn things about yourself! I'd feel a bit embarrassed telling others that I still b/f at this late stage - but it feels right for us, and it's the norm in many other societies, so if I ever think about the need to justify it, that's what I'd tell myself!
Good luck! Stop if you really want to yourself, and your dd will have to accept it. Otherwise, go on for a while longer if you think you can...

Thanks so much. The bottom line is - like you 'rushingaround' - I LIKE b/fing her to sleep at the end of the day ... and I'm not sure how else I'd calm her down enough for sleeping - she's still bouncing around on the bed when I'm getting her sleepsuit on, and would happily have stories all night if it wasn't for the boob. And she's just woken up more more ... cheers.

I still feed my 15 month old dd to sleep at night, I find it just as relaxing for me as her, and see no problem with it at all. I know she will stop when she's ready, just as her big sister did. Don't let anyone else tell you you're doing wrong - your baby and you know best what she needs.

Hi there
I'm grateful for this thread as I am still feeding my 13 month old ds to sleep (and in the night which is not so great I know) - also at nap time. I'm glad to know that others have grown out of it naturally without tears and trauma. I do think it's a very natural thing and that for as long as the baby wants it he/she probably needs it??

Going back to the teeth thing, I was advised that I didn't need to worry about cleaning teeth with night feeds after b/milk until he was over 1. Don't know why, but this was a HV, so it could be cr*p! Anyway, he was on solids, and had had food as well as b/milk, so that was why he had a teeth clean. We worked on the basis of 'why clean his teeth after solids, and then give him milk, we might as well do it after everything'. As I said, it sometimes roused him, but then babies do need to learn to go to sleep on their own, so it wasn't a problem. Of course, sometimes he wouldn't go to bed, so he got some more milk, and fell asleep on the boob, without another teeth clean.

I wasn't rigid about it, but always read that you should attempt some kind of teeth cleaning once they get teeth. He had teeth from 4.5 months, and has had them cleaned twice a day since. As I say, it was not a problem if I sometimes forgot, but I tried to get into the habit. I don't have any problems cleaning them now he is older, and wonder if it is because he got used to it at an early age.

What about frequent night wakers? Do they also grow out of it? My 6 month old daughter wakes up almost every hour and wants to bf every time, unless my dh picks her up and rocks her. But normally it's just easier and faster for her to go back to sleep if I nurse her. People say she'll associate going to sleep/staying asleep with bf only, and she won't grow out of it. Any of you with such frequent night feeders that grow out of it?

My ds breastfed every 2 hours until he was 6 months at which point I started solids and did controlled crying. It only took 2 nights before he was more or less sleeping through the night.

yuyee I poated a message very like yours when my baby boy was about the same age.He was waking every two hours or so in the night , looking for a short feed and going straight back to sleep. I am happy to report that now at ten months he only wakes once most nights and even has slept through on a couple of occasions.
In other words touch wood, yes he seems to be growing out of it.
It's very tiring isn't it?

And just to add, my ds is now 25 mo. and is an excellent sleeper. He only ever wakes in the night if he is ill and coughing himself awake.

yuyee - I have a friend who was co-sleeping and ds (13m) was feeding whenever he felt like it throughout the night. She decided to put him in a cot in the new year, endured max 25 mins crying and after 4/5 nights he's sleeping 12 hours solid in his own cot ! So yes it can be done and without too much heartache. NB my dd usually wakes 'for feeds' twice in night, but last night slept 9 hours solid for no apparent reason ! Shouldn't have mentioned it as I'm sure it's just a fluke, but maybe she's changing at her own pace ...