For those who laid with their kids until they fell asleep past age 3/4...

[SmedsSmoos]

If you have ensured they fall asleep independently since 3 months and would never consider lying with them then this isn't the thread for you

To those who have done this... my son is 4.5 and we still lie with him to fall asleep, as a baby he fell asleep independently but toddler years put an end to that and he has fallen asleep with us lying with him ever since.

On one hand I love the cuddles, and I know it won't last forever and he sleeps well once he's asleep so I haven't ever really minded. I guess I hadn't really thought maybe it's unusual we still do that but perhaps it is now. I'm not sure how to stop? He definitely wants us there, he asks for cuddles etc and I just don't know how to ease out of this without him getting really upset, I just read about gradual retreat but he has a mid sleeper with a tent over the top so he won't see me if I'm not in bed with him and he wants us to cuddle him..

If you did this past 3/4, how did you eventually stop? Did they just grow out of wanting you and tell you to go? Did you train them somehow? Was it brutal?

I do this with dd. Ds stopped me wanting to be in his room when he was 7/8.

I honestly can't remember. I breastfed all my children to sleep until they no longer wanted to, and coslept with them until they wanted to stop.
They are now all independent, well adjusted adults with whom I have close but not overly dependent relationships. And my marriage is still going strong after 30 odd years. None of the terrible things that people assured me would happen if I didn't "stop this nonsense and get them settled in their own rooms" actually occurred.
The only thing I can remember is that DC1 who was still sleeping much of the night in my bed when DC2 was born complained about DC2 being noisy and started sleeping in their own bed then. But I can't actually remember when or how DC2 and DC3 slept fully independently. But they don't do it now, so obviously they transitioned at some point!
I know that is no practical help, but I hope it is at least a bit reassuring.

I still lie next to my 4.5 yo and I'll carry on doing it for as long as she wants me to. She goes to sleep pretty quickly and it's not a problem for me.

I actually enjoy lying next to her in the dark at the end of the day. It's very peaceful and she sometimes wants to hold my hand, which is lovely.

I didn't lay with them but I sat on their bed. Definitely older than 4.5, probably about 8ish? The only time it really bothered me was when I had to get them both to bed and dh was away with work and they were messing about.

They're 13&16 now and would rather DIE than have me in their rooms now.

I don't know what to say as I'm not out the other end!

My almost 7yr old still needs us to stay with her. I refuse to be in the bed with her. I will read a book or she will read to me and then I'll give her a cuddle in bed and then get out. I sit on the floor next to her bed and dim down my phone so I can use it.

She actually went to bed by herself for about a year at around 4 and a half. We moved her into a bigger bedroom and she wldnt settle and ever since we need to stay with her. She actually went to bed herself the other night and I think we will introduce a reward chart to try and get her to do it every night!

I said this was not happening with the youngest. She went to bed by herself and wld fall asleep. Well all until she was 2 and a half. We went on holiday for 10 nights and it had bunk beds but nothing to stop her falling out so I slept beside her. After that all hell broke loose at bedtimes when we went home. She wld scream to the point of making herself sick and climb out the cot etc. so she's 4 now and also still being taken to bed. She still comes in to my bed every night too at some point. So does my eldest but I give her a cuddle and then tell her to go back as there is no room!

I wldnt mind if bedtimes were quick but they rarely are! It can be around 30-45mins and sometimes an hour or more on a bad night!

My nephew is 12 and still insists on sleeping with his mum it's bloody odd.

Aw I have found my people! I still lie with my 6 year old I thought I was the only one. It took a while to come to accept it but now I really love it, it's the best bit of the day.

He will grow out of it eventually if you are happy about it don't worry and continue as long as he/you are ready.

At 11 😭. Drove me insane. Oldest 3 we didn't do this bollocks with but DD was spoilt as the youngest and DH totally indulged her. He then started working nights and it was embedded. Dsis did this with her 2 and they were both 10/11.