10 month old waking 30 times a night forever. I don’t know what to do.

[Ifyousayso1]

She has always been a terrible sleeper. Screamed 17 hours a day when small, had reflux (still does) and CMPA.

Its got worse and worse. She is still in our room in a travel cot. She has a bottle and goes to bed. Will last 30 mins in her bed then will wake every 10 mins until eventually ending up in the bed and one of us goes to the spare room. She will travel up and down the bed rolling around. Waking every 20 mins or so into full blown crying. It’s 20/30 sometimes more of having to put the dummy in. She will never have a batch of a few hours together.

I can’t cope without sleep anymore. I can’t drive because I’m so exhausted I’m not safe. I don’t feel I can leave her to cry. One because I don’t think she will ever stop and two because I have a 7 year old and it will wake her.

The baby is 10 months and walking already, she is very eager. She creams and arches in her high chair. Anything she doesn’t want to do she will arch and go red and screams and seems angry.

Any ideas on what to do?

She sounds like a very high needs baby. I’m sure she does have CMPA and reflex but so much of her behaviour sounds like my DS, who didn’t have anything medical wrong with him, he just despised being a baby. He also screamed his head off if contained or if left alone for even 5 seconds. Didn’t quite wake as much as your DD but woke every 45 minutes over night. He wanted to be stimulated and entertained out of the house all the time. Wouldn’t tolerate anything other than being carried around. I was on my knees with exhaustion. About 10-12 months was probably the absolute lowest point to be honest.

We slept trained at about this age. More sleep didn’t make his daytime behaviour any better but I could deal with it more.

He got easier as time went on. By the time he was 15 odd months he was a gem. Still high needs as a toddler but so much easier to manage when he could talk more and could entertain himself a bit.

@VivaVivaa I do think a lot of the behaviour is high needs. She also hates being a baby, gets extremely annoyed when can’t get her own way. She hits out and punches and scratches. Hates being strapped in so she came wriggle.
Trying to feed her is impossible as she wriggling in the chair, trying to get out or turn around or swot you.

She is walking at 10 months just won’t sit still. Doesn’t touch a single toy but will play with the wash bin, sort of pulls out the clothes and feels them, will play with the shoes in the porch. She naps in the day only if holding or in the pram otherwise 20 mins and she’s awake then gets super cranky. She’s a brilliant little thing it’s just the sleep.

If she needs sleep training will it actually work if she’s high needs? I’m worried she will just cry all night and not learn to sleep. I don’t even know what she wants as do-sleeping doesn’t work. She still away tossing and turning for hours. Have to put the dummy in countless times.

I’ve not tried her but heard really good things about Cher at tired baby sleep. She has a special programme for high needs babies. I follow her on social media and she’s had a high needs baby herself and knows exactly what it’s like having a baby that’s not got a relaxed temperament.

https://www.tiredbabysleepconsultant.co.uk/sleepprogram

I promise you it gets better. This way my multiple allergy child. It's so hard. I hear you, I see you; and you're doing absolutely nothing wrong.

How are you doing on the allergy diagnosis? How is weaning going? Have you had skin prick tests? What about the reflux - is it medicated?

Hi @Ifyousayso1 can I ask how you are getting on now a few months later?
my 8mo boy sounds similar, although perhaps not so spirited / high needs during the day as your girl (although he’s pretty shouty most of the time). Nights are the problem, he wakes every 30-60 minutes all night and has done since he was 4 months old. We co sleep as it’s the only way I can survive. We’ve tried dummy, no dummy, Ferber, sleep consultant, osteopath, doctor has ruled out all medical issues. I’m just at a loss and hoping someone might have the answer!

Hi @Mumof2R we are at what almost 16 months now. She has got 50% better at night so it’s hit or miss if she will sleep through or wake a few times and have a whimper. Nothing changed in what we do, well apart from putting 6 dummies in the cot. I’ve just come to the conclusion it’s learned skill and they learn it when they are ready. I did put her in her own bedroom and just went to her when she cried. If it was more then a few times of getting up I’d just bring her in the bed but that doesn’t happen often now. She is just a very VERY busy baby, she is constantly climbing.

Thanks for the reply that sounds really positive! You are giving me hope my boy will get there :)

Will she settle in moving pram/car?

Hi @Ifyousayso1 Hope you’re okay. Was wondering how your little one turned out to be. Did her sleep get any better? I have a 10 month old who has been the worst sleeper in the world. He wakes up every few mins, I’ve resorted to co sleeping. Even that doesn’t help!!! I don’t know how I can cope anymore😭

Hello. Yes there is hope. By around 15-16 months she just randomly started sleeping through. She’ll be 2 soon. In her wake time she is super busy but she naps and sleeps like a dream. Good luck

@Ifyousayso1 Thank you! I hope my boy improves too! It’s honestly so exhausting. I’m due to go back to work soon, don’t know how I’ll cope for having such disrupted sleep!
Glad to know your little girl has improved:-). Hope she’s doing okay. And my boy too is extremely active! Never sitting still for even a split second😭

God, this reminds me of my second baby. Even the bit where you said she hates being a baby! As soon as mine could talk he was totally different. He was a late ish talker too. He was the unhappiest baby I'd ever come across.

He's 13 now and a total delight. But those years were tough.

Nice to read the update op.

Mine absolutely hated being a baby so much. Now she talks she doesn’t stop, she doesn’t sit still. She’s into everything, very intelligent, very inquisitive. She has the most amazing character, chats away to everyone. It was bloody hard and it broken me but it was worth it. We haven’t yet grown out of the milk allergy.