10 month old waking 30 times a night forever. I don’t know what to do.

[Ifyousayso1]

She has always been a terrible sleeper. Screamed 17 hours a day when small, had reflux (still does) and CMPA.

Its got worse and worse. She is still in our room in a travel cot. She has a bottle and goes to bed. Will last 30 mins in her bed then will wake every 10 mins until eventually ending up in the bed and one of us goes to the spare room. She will travel up and down the bed rolling around. Waking every 20 mins or so into full blown crying. It’s 20/30 sometimes more of having to put the dummy in. She will never have a batch of a few hours together.

I can’t cope without sleep anymore. I can’t drive because I’m so exhausted I’m not safe. I don’t feel I can leave her to cry. One because I don’t think she will ever stop and two because I have a 7 year old and it will wake her.

The baby is 10 months and walking already, she is very eager. She creams and arches in her high chair. Anything she doesn’t want to do she will arch and go red and screams and seems angry.

Any ideas on what to do?

Could she be teething? Have you tried a night light or white noise? Mind I can’t really talk, my 2.5 year old son wakes every night and i have to sleep on Ida with him lying on top of me !!

No teething she has been like this forever. We’ve got a night and white noise she just continuously wakes up.

If not already, is she in a decent nap routine? This will impact her night sleep massively. I could also suggest visiting an osteopath and doing some gentle sleep training.

Travel cots can be really uncomfortable for babies. Can you get a proper cot with full thickness mattress and see if she settles better in that? You may at least get some more sleep before she's in with you.

@Cathyt90 it’s got a proper mattress inside it not just the think uncomfortable one. She also won’t sleep in the next to me, her own cot in her room or our bed.

Can you get a sleep consultant? Often you can't see the wood for the trees when you're so sleep deprived. Get in touch with a recommended consultant and go from there.

This sounds so tough!! I feel for you. I have an 8 month old who doesn’t sleep the best but it’s really different circumstances so not sure I have any advice on sleep. I definitely understand the sleep deprivation though and not wanting to cry it out. Sounds like you are trying your very best in very difficult circumstances.
Like other posters have suggested maybe look at day naps/sleep routine to see if this helps. Or if you are in the position to get professional help maybe look into it. Some “sleep trainers” do not advocate cry it out - look up “teach to sleep” (Sarah Patel) or KarherineStagg on insta as a start maybe.
The only other suggestion I have is to get some help in the day - any family members or friends who can maybe look after the baby for a couple of hours while you get some much needed rest?
Sorry I can’t be of more help but know you are not alone xx

Hi op, what milk is she on? My ds also has cmpa and was given nutramigen first. He didn't get on with this as it still has cmp in but broken down. (I think a quick google will confirm) He was the same up all night constantly crying but screaming, crying, and arching back, just uncomfortable all the time. I went back to the gp, and he was prescribed neocate. He has been a different baby since!

@ThisOneIsMine she is only on Neocate from a month old.

It feels like she can’t sooth herself with anything. She screams getting the nappy done or in the high chair. If I put her in her play pen whilst I have to do something she is a screaming snotty mess. She will scream the minute she is put in until taken out, won’t touch a single toy. The same with the high chair. Once she has finished the last mouth she screams or if she realises she is strapped in she arches and pulls stuff and tries to get out and screams.

I think you should see your health visitor or GP to see if there's something they can help with. If no medical issues, then would be worth contacting a sleep consultant.

My son had cmpa and reflux. Screamed a lot. Everything terrified him. Bad separation anxiety. Awoke continually. At seven months he was clearly exhausted and miserable too as he wasn’t sleeping enough either. I thought ‘enough’ and decided to sleep train. I used a method where you put him down and then stay with him but do not hold him to sleep or anything. It worked from the first night. Within 45 minutes he was asleep and slept for hours. It just took that one night for him to learn he could put himself to sleep, when he woke. It was better for him and for us.

My first thought would be to move her to her own room. Start a new routine with a relaxing build up to bedtime and put her in her cot. It will probably be a nightmare for the first few nights as you continually go in to settle her. By night three she should be better and might sleep longer if she knows you’re not constantly there

We tried her in her new room and she turned into a screaming vomiting mess of a baby. Woke over 30 times in the night, woke my older daughter who in school.

I would like to sleep train. She has a cold atm to will wait till it’s gone. My worry is that she is unable to self sooth. Her temperament in the day is extremely high needs. Her dad has autism but not too high on the scale so functions very well. His mum said he screams for 2 years non stop.

That sounds awful, you have my absolute sympathy! My DS had a few months of waking approximately every hour and I was a total wreck. I cannot imagine 20-30 wakes a night!

Some quick thoughts about things to try:

• I would want to check with the HV or GP to rule out any medical conditions or allergies that could be causing discomfort, particularly as she already has CMPA. The frequency of night waking and the amount of distress she is expressing is quite extreme and suggests there might be some ongoing discomfort/pain. That said, some babies are just fussy about everything they don't like!

If there's nothing medical going on:

• can you try a floor bed (just a mattress basically) in her own room but one of you stay with her all night to start with? She's not sleeping in her next to me, or her cot or in your bed at the moment, so not sleeping on a bed in her own room (with you there) is basically the same thing. Then if she does start to sleep better she is in the place you presumably want her to end up, and you don't need to go through another huge, difficult transition when you don't want her in your room anymore. That way you also don't have both you and your partner being disturbed all night
• is it just you doing all the night settles, or is your partner helping out? My DH and I tried to split the night wakes, which helped me get a longer chunk of sleep - but there were also times when DS would only accept me, so sending in DH just prolonged the agony for all of us
• what are her naps like in the day? Where/how does she sleep? Is it any better? We eventually got a holistic sleep consultant to help us out and a lot of what she did was pushing DS's wake periods longer during the day, so that he had enough sleep pressure at bedtime to not wake up fully every time he roused a bit.
• Have you tried giving Calpol or Neurofen before bed? If she's in discomfort from something (teething or stomach cramps or anything), that might help you see a difference - my DS gets very very restless at night even with mild teething that doesn't bother him much in the day.
• We never found a magic bullet that transformed DS from hourly wakes to sleeping through, but the changes we made gradually moved him from 6+ wakes at 8MO to now 1 or 2 at 15MO (with a big blip in the middle when he started nursery). I can guarantee that if you are currently on 20 wakes a night you will feel orders of magnitude better if you can get it down to 10 ... or 6 ... or 4.
• We didn't do full on sleep training because his sleep got manageably better without it, but if you try other things and nothing is changing at all, I would absolutely pick a weekend and try something like the Ferber method. Seriously disrupted sleep is horrendous and has a miserable impact on your mental health.

Hi
Are you using anything for reflux? Mine was like that till we got his reflux under control. First carobel to thicken neocate up as its ridiculously thin then had omeprezol. Cmpa milks are very thin and aggravate reflux more

I’ve taken her to the doctor so many times. We use Gaviscon but only one sachet as 2 makes her constipated. Carobel gave her diarrhoea and magic mix made her vomit. When she had her consults appointment when she was a few month old they told us they don’t recommend omeprazole as it does more harm then good. She still brings up her milk and her solid food several times between each bottle. They aren’t bothered as she is on the 91st centile so it’s not causing weight loss.

Ive tried calpol and it makes no difference. She just seems incredibly fussy and stubborn. A few mins in the playpen and she is absolutely hysterical. Same doing nappy on in the car seat.

I'm so sorry you're both going through it. It is really difficult especially when you're not getting any support. I do remember those day still. There is a Facebook page that has been amazing support for me and its called
Main group-Cmpa. It's a private group and it's been amazing for me.
Reason I'm telling you about it is I'm sure I've seen someone else recommend another thickener, not a chance I can remember the name today. Both of us in bed with chest infection 😩. You could ask there for other information. Especially solid food should be helping keeping it all down, kind of makes me wonder if he's still reacting to something else, soya or egg. Please ask to join it and hopefully someone else will be in a better position to help you x

Thanks I’m already a member of that group. She is soya free at the moment and egg introduced much later after symptoms been going previous to introducing that.

Im just unsure if it’s medical. As soon as you pick her up she is happy and smiling alway. The moment she is on her own she screams, always has done. I’m wondering if it’s separation anxiety. Her birth was traumatic. As soon as they put on the induction drop her heart rate rocketed,
like she has been scared from the start.

Have not read everything, but the only thing that worked for my daughter was having her sleep in a swing—oftentimes running. She needed to be semi upright and the swinging calmed her.

I want to rule out anything medical and then I’d put her in her own room and do controlled crying- if she’s crying so much anyway then it probably won’t be much of a change and your current situation sounds completely unsustainable. Could you start on a Friday and your 7YO go for a sleepover with friends or relatives that night? A lot of people find it’s resolved in 3 nights so hopefully it wouldn’t be too disruptive.

Rolling around and waking, I know that feeling, she's having a reaction.

Which milk is she on?

Just seen that she's on Neocate.

Could she be reacting to something else if she's completely DF?

Is she under a Paediatric Dietician and the allergy clinic too?

We have been discharged as she was gaining weight. Was told to do the milk ladder when she is one. If she is reacting wouldn’t she be the same in the day. She is ok in the day as long as you always play with her and don’t walk away.

Not sure I can give you advice but I can send strength. My second child was the same (eldest an angel who slept through from 12 weeks. I thought I was a genius, what did I know). I lasted a bit longer but cracked when he was 2 and did some pretty firm sleep training.

He is now a very happy, well adjusted and loved 6 year old. He was not scarred by the sleep training despite what many on mumsnet would have you believe :-)

I'd suggest cold turkey on dummy as what may be happening is every time your child starts to drop off, the dummy falls out and then they wake up needing it.