What did your newborn sleep look like?

[thelma57]

DD is 8 week - really struggling to get her to sleep in her cot, the best nights we’ve had she’ll do an hour or so at a time and then need to be held for a long time in between to fully settle. She sleeps loads, just on us!

Main issue seems to be the size of the cot as once she realises where she is she throws herself around a bit (gong to swaddle from tomorrow in grobag)

At best I get a few hours total sleep a night and that’s cos DH is here to hold her, he’s back at work soon and I’m worried I won’t cope.

I’m EBF and feel close to cracking.

What did your sleep with newborns look like?

Oh and one last trick, putting a hot water bottle in her bed before you put her in. Often they like sleeping on us because of the warmth... Just tried that and it seems to make the transition smoother ;)

Good luck, you've got this 🙌🏼

DD has now resorted to sleeping 30-40
mins when first put in her crib and then absolutely nothing else 😂 I’ve tried her 6 times so far tonight and each time she’s awake in a couple of minutes.

Been tracking cycles to aim for deep sleep but I’m obvi doing something wrong! 🫠

No, it's not you or what you're doing/not doing. Some babies just don't like sleeping away from you! If my maths is right she's around 3 months old now? Could be around the time when her sleep structure starts changing and maturing which can cause more wakings, often referred to as the 4 month regression, but it can start any time between 3-5 months.

Congratulations!!! The first few months are tough, feel we’d be better off as a society changing the advice to the first 3/4/5 months. It seems like somewhere along the line the expected is more than a few weeks to settle down💕

The best piece of advice I ever read on here when I was in the throws of it was that “it’ll get better slowly and then one day you’ll look back and realise how much better it is” Think that was in relation to sleep to x

Thanks both, I should add she still sleeps perfectly for hours on us. My saving Grace is she’s not a big crier, just fidgets and gets frustrated once she’s awake.

Yep @GinnyBee shes 3 months on Friday 💓

Just going to keep trying! She is better in her reactions to the cot and I’ve got some more tips for putting her down tonight (holding away from body before placing etc) 🤞

Close to looking into safe Co sleeping though although not sure DH would go for it!

Sounds like looking into safe co-sleeping is a sensible option as sometimes you just have to do whatever it is that allows you all to get as much rest as is possible.

DD1 was 12 weeks old when she transitioned from sleeping on me to co-sleeping next to me. On the first night she managed 45 minutes, then next night an hour and half and from the third night onwards she managed 3-4 hours between feeds.

And that’s without me really doing anything different as I’d been desperately trying to put her down day and night without success for the first 12 weeks. She’s just turned 3 and we still co-sleep except now I’m sandwiched between her and her little sister.

I hope things get easier for you soon.

Dd slept the first month in her pram carrycot (which we put inside the next to me) was the only place she'd settle. Hood up. So we got a Noah pod to replace that, which worked a dream. She just wanted to be some where smaller and darker.

At about 4 months she went into next to me, but we rested the Noah pod in it first while she slept. She actually didn't really make a fuss at the transition.

At about 6 months she went into her cot but in our room. At 8, we moved the cot into her own room.

DS would wake up about 4-5 hourly. Id be awake much more worrying why he wasn't awake.
He's 41 now and I'm still worrying.

The Noah pods look great @yeveamgirl I’m sure she’s outgrown one of those now though, sadly, glad that worked for you though and your little one is sorted now!

Haha @Gettingbysomehow love that, when she has slept for more than 30 mins I do find myself waking to check on her and then cursing myself 😂

DD was prem and would only sleep on my chest, so I slept with her on my chest for the first 13 or so weeks after NICU. I luckily had a bed with a low wide headboard so could lean on that and prop pillows around me and under my elbows etc to keep us in position. I know this breaks all the rules, and probably wasn’t safe, but equally waking every 15-30 minutes which was the alternative was not safe either. DH would come and take her for a bit first thing in the morning before going to work so I could stretch out my back and nap.

At about 12/13 weeks she got too heavy and too wriggly for this and wasn’t going back to sleep im my chest anyway so I started trying to get her to sleep in the moses basket. That was hell on earth, it felt like as soon as I’d got her to sleep she was up again. Co sleeping next to me really didn’t help, she just wriggled about rather than sleeping.

She was diagnosed with tongue tie at about 15 weeks, had it cut, that helped a lot with feeding but not sleep, I had to rock her back to sleep every wake (which was still every 30-40 minutes) as she had developed a rock sleep habit by this point. Then we sleep trained at about 5 months, I was absolutely broken. Worked incredibly well. We didn’t get perfect sleep, she still woke 2-3 times a night. because of teething/colds/too hot/too cold/wrong phase of the moon but never went back to that every sleep cycle torture.

We coslept until around 8 months when I transitioned him to his own floor bed, and would still sometimes sleep there with him on difficult nights but not full time. What worked for us was having separate rooms. I slept in the nursery with the baby on our spare bed, and husband had our bedroom to himself. This way the other person would get uninterrupted sleep while the other was on baby duty. And cosleeping helped immensely in that I didn't have to get up and out of bed for every wake up, so even though the baby didn't sleep any longer, I still got more sleep.

I’m at my wits end - have tried everything tonight 😭
Kept her in the cot as long as possible before taking her out when she starts to cry.

She wakes herself up wriggling and with her startle reflex. Managed to keep her calm a bit with shushes and contact, also supporting her on her side a bit seemed to work but eventually she wakes up and we’re back to square one 😭

I don’t know what else to do!

We cant co-sleep as the same thing happens if I lay her on the bed. Could it be silent reflux? I don’t think so as she’s happy on her back in the day playing etc, just not for sleep. And will lie across my legs on her back if she falls asleep feeding.

What on earth do people do in this situation? My only option is to sleep holding her and I don’t want to do that as it’s unsafe 😭 HELP

Does she have any signs of being in pain? Is she arching her back, raising her legs to her belly, gagging etc.?

Have you tried swaddling?

I'll be honest, I don't think our daughter would sleep at all if it wasn't for the Snoo bed... I know it cost a fortune but it has been really really worth it for us. Might be worth looking at second hand if that's even an option? It just helps to put them back to sleep. My daughter just wakes up every 10-20 min otherwise, but the Snoo rocks her back to sleep without us waking up basically!

Could you and your husband do shifts to get some sleep? It will eventually change but it is tough.

With our first, my husband could keep him downstairs while I had an early night then I'd do a shift of wake ups. Then in the morning my husband would take him for an early walk so I could catch up. I had a TV and headphones so the feeding and resettling in the night wasn't as tedious.

When we got to 6 months we started having him in our bed when he wouldn't settle.

With our second, he's a much better sleeper. They're just different to babies. But we also had him in our bed from the first night at home!

No she doesn’t seem in pain @Kaylina and she’s fine on her back elsewhere (currently chilling on her playmat as we speak) I think its cos she’s never slept a full night on her back, ever!

DH does help lots, if anything forces me to go for naps when I protest 😂 and will have her for a few hours first thing of a night and then from about 3am but he leaves for work at 5. @mumofbun

She slept a total of 13 hours last night save the times I woke her trying to get her in the cot 😂 oh if I could sleep with her!

I’m going to attempt her morning nap in the cot a bit, including getting her in her sleep bag and dark room - currently she just naps on us anywhere and we keep things loud and bright but I think this might be too much of a transition to what we’re expecting of her at night now? You get such conflicting info on naps!

Look into chestsleeping. Cosleepy on IG has info on this. It’s basically the same setup as safe sleep 7, so nothing extra in the bed, but you prop yourself up a bit and baby sleeps on your chest. Baby’s head must be higher than her bum, and the mattress around you must be clear and you in the middle of the bed so if baby rolls off she won’t fall on the floor or get tangled into bedding.