What did your newborn sleep look like?

[thelma57]

DD is 8 week - really struggling to get her to sleep in her cot, the best nights we’ve had she’ll do an hour or so at a time and then need to be held for a long time in between to fully settle. She sleeps loads, just on us!

Main issue seems to be the size of the cot as once she realises where she is she throws herself around a bit (gong to swaddle from tomorrow in grobag)

At best I get a few hours total sleep a night and that’s cos DH is here to hold her, he’s back at work soon and I’m worried I won’t cope.

I’m EBF and feel close to cracking.

What did your sleep with newborns look like?

Pretty similar to this and that was in a next to me not even a big cot. It was usually the transferring that disturbed DS.

I had a bit more success when I had a hot water bottle to hand and would warm his spot before putting his head down so there wasn't a bit temp change from warm and cosy to cold.

Around 5 weeks I bought a purflo and he liked it. The cot was too big, he didn't like having all that space, I could see he was comforted when he stretched out and could feel the edges of the purflo, I guess it felt safer than just being in a vast open space.

Sadly it didn't last though. He slept great until the 4 month regression, and then didn't and we started bedsharing.

I can't comment on bf but at 8 weeks my baby cried a bit then had a dummy then slept for 12 hours in a 2.5tog sleeping bag

Thanks all! @WandaWonder how lucky! I’m lucky if DD goes down for 30 mins, like tonight so far 😭
As soon as she realises she’s in the cot it’s over😂 I’m not sure how I’m going to cope when I’m doing this alone!

Mine looked exactly like yours. It was hell. Slowly got better, then worse for a while due to a regression, then better then worse etc.

How did you manage @HappyPurrrsday ?

i dunno, we just got through it. It was hard. I must admit. Eventually she’d do bigger stretches.

I did have a lot of help from my husband after he went back to work. I said to him, you get to leave this house and go to work for 8 hours and do something different, I can’t possibly parent this baby non stop for 24 hours a day on no sleep, that is unreasonable. He agreed.

we’d do things like me BF and he rock her to sleep for 10 mins then place in the bed in the early stages.

When she was out of our room from 8 months ish, we’d take it in turns fetching her and putting her back in her own bed. He’d bring her to me, I’d sleepily feed her, then he’d take her back/settle her on his turn. On my turn, I did it all. That was really good.

I suppose also,I’d work when she napped in the day, so I couldn’t catch up with sleep while she slept & he was at work. Not that I’d manage to fall asleep for the 45 mins she napped anyway. So it seemed fair that he helped At night.

I can’t remember at what point, but when she had a sleep regression and was sleeping poorly, sometimes we’d end up cosleeping with her for stretches of the night - but I didn’t really like it. I’d wake up quite panicked by it. Checking she was ok.

we found rocking helped, her next to me could rock and we’d use that to gently rock to sleep. Or I’d use the maternity ball and bounce on that with her.

sorry I don’t really have any more tips!

I co-slept (strictly following safe sleep
guidelines, DH in another room, no bedding etc). I fed lying down so I could feed and fall asleep.

DD didn’t sleep in her bedside crib at all. She woke about every 3hrs in bed with me.

I slept whenever she slept day or night really, It was tough.

Thanks both! See I’m not even sure Co sleeping would help as she won’t even be out down next to us, has to be in our arms! She sleeps for hours and so peacefully but only on us 😭
Had 30 mins and going to hand her over to DH now 🥹

Have you tried feeding lying down though? Make that a new habit and then she will naturally start to fall asleep in that position. Might not be instant though. But you can at least sleep yourself during the feeding.

Just have to do what you can to make it through. The struggle is real but beautiful.

My second baby woke hourly pretty much for 11 months straight and i nearly had a mental health crisis. An absolutely awful time of my life.

God I’m struggling with this now 😭
I thought we had it cracked and had 4 nights of (albeit not great or long) stints in the cot, she’s also better at generally being put down now.

But Monday and tonight she just hasn’t had it and every time I’ve put her in the cot she wakes and then cries if left. This is after letting her sleep on me anything from only 10 mins after falling asleep to hours! Placing down gently, hands on head and chest for as long as it takes. My back is in BITS!

Tonight i fell asleep with her on my chest and I’m furious with myself! Just been in tears, I’m just so so tired.

I then also freaked out that she’d got too hot as she’d been in her new 2.5 tog bag (room 18 degrees) so even though DH had taken her from me I took her back and changed her, waking her up and causing a meltdown for 30 mins!

She’s such a perfect baby and sleeps so well. Naps and everything on time, let’s me know if she’s overtired etc - but all sleep has to be ON ME or DH (who is back at work and doing my head in)

DD is 11 weeks tomorrow and I feel like this is forever - I don’t know how to cope 😭 I dread nights.

Just to add, can’t Co-sleep and baby won’t take a dummy, she also started to show signs of rolling so can’t swaddle.

Have we caused this by holding her too much?

No you haven’t caused it, she’s a normal baby doing normal baby things. Some need to have contact to sleep, some don’t.

It is not forever although I know that’s not helpful right now, but honestly it shall pass. This time next year it will be a distant memory.

Had similar, EBF 30 minute wakings only slept for 2 hours at a time until age 2.

Things that helped a bit.

Covering cot mattress in one of DH t shirts that I had worn overnight.

Hot water bottle on mattress taken out just before putting her down so mattress not cold.

All naps in cot for a few weeks instead of in pram/sling etc.. to help get used to sleeping in there at other times.

Osteopathy - she had very tense muscles on one side of her neck due to getting stuck at delivery so couldn't feed on one side easily. I think she had more discomfort lying on her back as it hurt to when her head moved to one side, this helped both feeding and sleep.

Time

😵‍💫

Thanks @AlltheFs i know deep down it’s because she’s just so little and needs us but it’s so so hard, I feel like the lack of sleep is making me unwell 😭

@Choconuttolata 2 hours in the cot is a massive win for me atm! I’ve tried having my clothes in the cot, I will try the hot water bottle cos I do think the change in temperature has a lot to do with it.

I wonder if a change in routine might help too, we’re still very much in that newborn phase of her falling asleep when she’s ready and us sitting and watching tv holding her, then eventually putting her down, so I think she’s so used to that each night as 9/10 she’ll stay with us.

I’ve tried less contact napping but it’s the same, if I put her down (anywhere!) she’ll wake up, or last 20 mins or so, meaning she’s overly tired as sleeping on us she’ll nap 1-2 hours each time.

It’s really tough OP, mine was the same day and night but after 12 weeks she finally started letting me put her down at night and would co-sleep on the bed next to me in 3-4 hour stretches between feeds. After the first night co-sleeping, I felt like a brand new woman.

When I was in the thick of it in the first 12 weeks, I felt like I would never sleep again and never believed it would get better but it did.

It’s not your fault, some babies are just like this. Whereas DC2 was fine in the moses basket from birth.

This may help - when lying your baby down in the cot, gently lay their head down first before their bum, it helps stop the startle reflex

My son is ebf and he slept every 3 to 4 hours till he slept through in his cot at 11 weeks. He was in a moses basket. I started a routine at 5/6 weeks which helped a lot and got him used to naps in his cot before putting him in is own room at 11 weeks x

A routine might be worth a try. The pick up/put down method also helped with mine but you do have to be consistent with it.

I do have this issue with my 5 week old but only during the day (for some weird reasons, she's ok at night).

What I'm gonna say might sound obvious but have you tried soothing your little one inside the crib instead of picking him up?

Mine would fall asleep on me, I would put her down and she would wake up instantly crying. I've been trying to soothe her inside the crib with dummy, music, rocking, hands on her belly etc. She would eventually fall asleep for 10 min, then wake up, and I would start the process again. Eventually she got more and more used to it, it's not perfect but she does have longer naps during the day inside her crib. I also try to not pick her up unless she is actually crying (like having a meltdown and needing a hug). Sometimes she just makes a lot of noises but eventually fall back to sleep by herself!

We also realised that music really soothe her so we have music on non stop inside her crib.

Also trying different dummies? Mine was EBF for a few weeks and I had to try many different ones before finding one that she would take. She's still not a fan, but she will take it to soothe, which helps. We have the MAM ones which seems to reproduce her latch on my breast the best. I've heard good things of the Nanobebe too.

One more thing that helped us is to put black and white pictures inside her crib, she loves them! I give her a dummy, put music on and eventually she falls asleep watching these pictures.

Sometimes it's just trying loads of various things until you find what works for your little one. They're all so different :/

Thanks all!

@Kaylina after reading your comment I did try more in crib soothing last night and I think it helped a bit! A couple of times she went back to sleep for a few mins and others she didn’t but she did calm and it meant more time in there for her.

@Ponche it really does feel like forever!

We were in and out 6 times last night, 3 times resulted in sleep totalling about 90 mins haha, but I did sleep each time so! I feel so bad disturbing her so much 😩

Used the tommee tippie white noise machine with the red light and as much as it didn’t help with the duration of sleeps I do think it helped get her to sleep faster each wake up and she wasn’t AS frantic in the cot when she realised where she was!

That's already a win!!

Does she have any signs of reflux or silent reflux? Because mine has bad reflux and she just hates being on her back... that's why she also sleeps much better on us!

I found that putting her on her side for naps during the day helps a bit. Although it is not safe sleep, so I stay next to her to make sure she doesn't roll etc.

I don’t think so, she’s a bit unsettled when feeding sometimes, but not all the time, rarely spits up etc and loves being on her back on her playmat 🤷‍♀️

I think not holding her for hours before putting her down helped a bit. So tonight I’ll try to time bath, feed etc but we’ll see.

She’s knackered now, poor little babe, we both put a shift in! 😂