HELP MY 9 month old wakes up every hour during the night ! HELP

[Dreamer98]

Hi,

My almost 10 month old baby wakes up several times a night. Most of the time every hour or 2 hours. The most he's ever slept is 3hrs but that's only been a hand full of times. He’s always been a poor sleeper. I gave it some time initially and understood that there could be several reasons such as teething, growth spurt or sleep regressions etc but by now he should be sleeping a good few solids hours right?

He’s bedtime is 8pm ish and wakes up around 8am. We have tried changing his bedtime to earlier, later, bathing every night, sound machine and a few more other things to see if any of that might help his sleep but again no luck.

I have Co-slept for a while and he still wakes up several times. I am now currently sleep training him in his cot.

We noticed he’ll sleep with his mouth open sometimes ( tongue is at the roof of mouth) so we went to GP. GP barely looked him over and eyed him over saying he’s breathing is fine and the sleeping issue is more development/ behaviour thing and he needs to learn to self soothe. Dismissed my worry about mouth breathing (I read online could be oral dysfunction) and said ‘there’s no medical issue. Let’s not create one’ when I’ve pressed further (previously been seen and told no tongue tie)

Currently been sleeping training him. NO cry out method. We put him down sleepy but awake in his cot. He will cry and scream and we’ve tried patting, shushing singing etc but he will scream and cry until picked up. Will calm him down and put him down in his cot and again it’s the same cycle until he finally falls asleep. Sometimes this takes up to an hour and then an hour later he’s awake and crying.He’s breastfed and I only feed him once in the hopes that it will get him to sleep longer (it doesn’t)
We’ve been doing this sleep training for about 2 weeks and a half and currently no results yet. He’s still waking up several times and crying.

I have looked into a sleep consultant but I can’t afford that at all unfortunately.

During the day he’s having 2 naps. Again it’s a nightmare getting him to sleep in his cot and takes up to an hour and then he’ll sleep and wake up an hour later.

He’s otherwise such a happy baby. He’s such a good, content baby. He’s on 3 solids and fully breastfed. I love him so so so much.

I’m just a very tired mama and need some advice and tips please!

Im not looking for judgement so please refrain from commenting at all if you have something mean to say.

Sorry I don’t have any advice but i have a nearly 13 month old who is just the same. I’m about to go back to work and losing the plot waking every hour. It’s pretty much killed my relationship with DP. I can’t face controlled crying, not sure what to do. Just seems to get worse. I’ve heard that sleeping with mouth open should be looked into. Have you spoken to a sleep consultant, as GP not helpful ?

Sorry just saw you said about already looked into sleep consultant…
I follow Lyndsey Hookway and would recommend her , even just for some reassurance. She has a nice approach without making you feel like a failure!

My son only slept for 90 mins max until 7 months!! I thought I was going to die. But I look back and I really believe it was because I was breastfeeding. I don't think I was producing anywhere near enough for him (I would express 2oz in half hour). When he went onto formula, everything changed! I look back now and kick myself for not going onto formula as I had such bad guilt that "breast is best".
Not saying this is what is happening, but something to consider.

We also followed little ones sleep programme. I think that helped too

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a tough sleep situation too! Thank you so much for telling me. It reassures me that I'm not the only one going through this.
Yes went to the GP and they were completely unhelpful. Dismissing our concern and said he was fine.
Thank you for the suggestion. It might be something we look into if this keeps continuing.

Thank you for your advice!
Initially I was thinking that too. Maybe he was hungry but when he'll wake up several times during the night he's just refuse the breast which makes me think he's not hungry. I'll try a few times but he'd still refuse. Usually when he is hungry he'll never say no and latch on straight away even if he's crying. When he realises it's the breast he'll stop and latch. So Im not sure if it's hunger.

What's the little one's program and how do I look into that please?

www.littleones.co/program/baby-sleep

It's an ebook, it seemed to help us. Hang in there, it will get better!

I would take him to an osteopath, they do amazing things with babies.

Hi OP, my 9.5 month old sounds exactly the same as yours. Sorry that you are also having sleepless nights! Determined to try and improve it so will let you know if I see any improvements. I think associating food (breastfeeding) with sleep is a big issue here. We have tried topping up with formula and didn't improve anything so I think it's more of a comfort thing. Didn't let him feed within 20 mins of sleep time tonight and he has so far done three hours which is very unusual- lots of tears and cuddles though, it was hard.

Thank you so much!

Gosh it's hard isn't it!

Im glad it's going well so far!
Im still having a nightmare. Can't put him down in his cot without him screaming his face off.

Please let me know how you get along and any tips and tricks you pick up along the way would be so helpful

My 7 month old is also the same as was his sister before him. With her, she suddenly went to only waking twice a night when i managed to get her to go to sleep on her own in her room (self soothe). She fed to sleep usually. With her, once I got her to go to sleep with a dummy rather than breast it was then pretty easy to wean off me being there shushing and singing, even though she only used the dummy for a week. He's a different kettle of fish. Not hard at all to get him to go to sleep being shhh patted and he's managed a few times without the pat (when we immediately saw an improvement- he did 4 hours one night!). But then I had to take away his sleepyhead as I know it's not approved for overnight sleep (we were desperate) and now I cannot for love nor money get him to go to sleep without that pat. I've resigned myself to going slower to wean him off the pat as I can't stand to head him cry.

Hourly waking could be related to low iron/ferritin. We gave our baby well
Baby multivitamin everyday and after 5 days her sleep suddenly got better. She still mouth breathes which we are having investigated and she also snores which could suggest large tonsils/adenoids. If you use Instagram I would recommend looking up gentle births and beyond. They have loads of information about oral dysfunction and tongue tie. Just want to mention, we were told my daughter didn't have a tongue tie or any mouth issues. We then went to someone more specialist and they confirmed she did have a tongue tie and lots of tension in her mouth. All of which can cause lots of night wakings. Since we've addressed the tongue tie and worked on reducing oral tension things have started to improve (believe me I was starting to feel like I couldn't go on it was so bad at one point). My advice would be to see someone who specialises in oral assessments, the GP will likely just fob you off.
Good luck!
Xx

Hi.
Thank you so so so much. This is so informative and absolutely great advice and I really appreciate it. I'll definitely get him multivitamins and look into the specialist further.

Thank you so so much!!

I'm exactly the same. It breaks my heart to ever let him cry.
He's sleep is just all over the place. Some days he'll let me pat him to sleep and other days he'll just refuse to be put down. Another mum commented about low iron so I'm going to be looking into that and see if it helps.

Wishing you the best!!

I've not had the same experience as you, but it must be so difficult. As soon as I read your post, particularly about sleeping with his mouth open, I remember Emily Whalley posting some info about it on her page on Instagram:

instagram.com/foxandthemoon_sleep?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

She speaks a lot of about root causes for hourly waking, tongue tie etc. Maybe you can find some useful advice from her.

I think the problem may be that as he gets older and more aware, he's also more aware that you are not there and he can't get to you from a cot/prison. So, instead of getting better it is getting worse.

My daughter hated her cot from day 1, but as soon as I put her on a single mattress instead, so I could lie next to her if necessary ( initially in theory to help her nod off), she was a lot happier. She was in her bedroom just next to ours but somehow knowing she could come in when she could crawl, helped her to be less alert all the time.

Maybe alertness is a natural young animal reaction to being on their own?

That's a very interesting point because I do realise now that whenever he wakes up and realises I'm not there he gets up and stands in his cot almost searching for me as he starts to cry.

I've seen a lot about the single mattress idea and it's something I will definitely consider. Im leaning towards moving him to his own room once he's around 1 as I feel more comfortable for him to be alone then. He's just turned 10 months so I'm hoping by 1 he's sleep gets better ( I doubt it) but it's something I'm thinking of doing it then.

Thank you so so much for your suggestion!!

How does he fall asleep for his naps? & at bedtime?

what’s the daytime routine?

how do you typically respond at nighttime?

are you on your own? Or is his dad around to settle?

sorry you’re not getting enough rest!

His nap and bedtime is the same. He starts of in mine or my husbands arms as he starts becoming sleepy. We will put him down in his cot and he'll cry straight away so we pat him and sometimes this does the trick. He will fall asleep after a few minutes. But other times he will sit straight back up and even stand up and cry until we've picked him back up and hold him again.
This can take minutes to an hour and it just depends on him. Hes definitely tired as he shows all the signs.

During the night when he wakes up he will sit or stand up. So I'll lay him down and pat him but that doesn't work most of the time so I'll pick him up and he'll stop and then I'll lay him down again and pat. Sometimes it works but most times it doesn't. I don't let him cry it out or anything so I'll pick him up again and calm him down and then put him down and it's just a repeat cycle until he's down and then he'll wake up after an hour or 2 again.

And we repeat the whole thing.

My husband helps as much as he can but he works very early so has to wake up like 3-4 or 4-5 am depending on the day. He ends up being so tired at work and it makes it hard for him so I don't let him do as many wakings with our boy.

He’s potentially a little over stimulated.

what’s your daytime routine? So wake time and then nap times and lengths?

Really? Do you think so?

So he's awake around 8:30-9am ish.

First nap is from 11ish- 11:30am ish (sometimes 12 when he fights sleeping in his cot). I take up him when he shows sleep que and that's usually around then (2.5hr to 3.5hrs wake window). These days he's napping only 1 hour most. (Before he'd do like 1.5hr)

Then second nap is around 2:30ish to 3pm.
He'll sleep again 1hr or sometimes 1.5hr.
Bedtime around 8:30 on ish.

What can I do to help if he's overstimulated?

he sounds overtired. When you say that he seems tired, a baby that seems tired is usually overtired and much more difficult to settle!

i’d aim for a nap at 10.30 am and 2.30pm with bed by 7. If he can manage 90 minute naps he should avoid being overtired as this can really worsen night waking.

For a sleep routine, a short and really consistent approach is usually best to avoid over stimulating him.

how he falls asleep is how he’ll want to be settled when he wakes in the night.

I’d try going into his room, saying night night to everything along the way. Draw the curtains. Into sleeping bag. Cuddle. Kiss. Into bed. Happy and calm.

Whilst I understand not wanting any crying or upset, responding really quickly to any crying can work against you. A lot of babies will cry a little before they sleep and at nighttime - it’s generally good practise to give them 5 minutes to give the opportunity to settle.

In the same reasoning, trying to settle in the cot is the ideal. No lights. Just quiet voices repeating the same phrase - I think I used to say ‘it’s okay, it’s time for sleep now’

try and be consistent with your dp in your approach.

i hope he improves asap for you.

Sorry cross posted. By over stimulated I mean the pick up, put down shhing to settle can become too much for older babies.