HELP MY 9 month old wakes up every hour during the night ! HELP

[Dreamer98]

Hi,

My almost 10 month old baby wakes up several times a night. Most of the time every hour or 2 hours. The most he's ever slept is 3hrs but that's only been a hand full of times. He’s always been a poor sleeper. I gave it some time initially and understood that there could be several reasons such as teething, growth spurt or sleep regressions etc but by now he should be sleeping a good few solids hours right?

He’s bedtime is 8pm ish and wakes up around 8am. We have tried changing his bedtime to earlier, later, bathing every night, sound machine and a few more other things to see if any of that might help his sleep but again no luck.

I have Co-slept for a while and he still wakes up several times. I am now currently sleep training him in his cot.

We noticed he’ll sleep with his mouth open sometimes ( tongue is at the roof of mouth) so we went to GP. GP barely looked him over and eyed him over saying he’s breathing is fine and the sleeping issue is more development/ behaviour thing and he needs to learn to self soothe. Dismissed my worry about mouth breathing (I read online could be oral dysfunction) and said ‘there’s no medical issue. Let’s not create one’ when I’ve pressed further (previously been seen and told no tongue tie)

Currently been sleeping training him. NO cry out method. We put him down sleepy but awake in his cot. He will cry and scream and we’ve tried patting, shushing singing etc but he will scream and cry until picked up. Will calm him down and put him down in his cot and again it’s the same cycle until he finally falls asleep. Sometimes this takes up to an hour and then an hour later he’s awake and crying.He’s breastfed and I only feed him once in the hopes that it will get him to sleep longer (it doesn’t)
We’ve been doing this sleep training for about 2 weeks and a half and currently no results yet. He’s still waking up several times and crying.

I have looked into a sleep consultant but I can’t afford that at all unfortunately.

During the day he’s having 2 naps. Again it’s a nightmare getting him to sleep in his cot and takes up to an hour and then he’ll sleep and wake up an hour later.

He’s otherwise such a happy baby. He’s such a good, content baby. He’s on 3 solids and fully breastfed. I love him so so so much.

I’m just a very tired mama and need some advice and tips please!

Im not looking for judgement so please refrain from commenting at all if you have something mean to say.

Ahhh okay.

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.

I will definitely try and implement this and see how it goes from now on.

Thank you again.

Quick question: when I take him up for his naps what if he's not showing any signs of sleepiness and refuses or sleep 😅 I've had days where I'd take him up early but he's not sleepy enough so he just refuses to sleep AT ALL until he's sleepy? What do I do in those situations please?

Does he really need the naps? My youngest was a terrible sleeper at that age but we dropped all naps at 10 months. Problem fixed.

At 9 months he was definitely only on one nap.

He still sleeps less than the adults and his 18 months older brother and he's 8 now. We realised trying to follow the routine of our older son was just wrong for him!

For mine it was completely normal for them to appear wide awake. I’d put them down after the little routine and then I’d leave them to it. Largely they’d fall asleep at some point whilst I was pottering in the vicinity, chattering for a bit and then a whinge before sleeping. Best of luck. He will definitely need to adjust, it’ll take time.

I tried cutting his naps but he gets very upset, fussy, clingy etc and the moment id take him up he's fast asleep so I do believe he still needs the naps.

It's going to be a challenge and I'm going to be constantly looking at different things and seeing what works for him but this is a start and hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you again!

I was recommended this book and currently giving it a read as I too can't afford a sleep consultant. Worth a try, you may be able to get it from a local library too.

It's Never too Late to Sleep... https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/152935398X?ref=ppxpoppmobappshare

Thank you!

I had a brief look and the book leans towards cry it out method which I'm just not a big fan on.

Thank you very much for your suggestion.

How are you getting on?

I have a 11 month old (almost a year) who is absolutely identical to everything you have described. It's absolutely awful. I have tired everything but it's been like this ever since he was born. He's never slept more than 3 hours a night. I tried sleep training bud it did nothing other than make him scream even more. Really hope you get some answers! Xx

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. I'm a little glad to know I'm not the only one who's going though this! I've been feeling like it's only my baby who does this and kept thinking if there's something wrong. Now I know a lot of babies are like this. I've tried sleep training recently and tried all advice people gave but nothing had worked yet. Just like you said sleep training just makes my baby scream even more.

Im hoping something just changes over night and they start sleeping. Wishing you the best Mama! If you need someone to chat please feel free to message!

I put him to bed at 7pm and he's still up crying and screaming now. It almost feels pointless to put him to bed.

Iv begged for help from health professionals, but was told he would be better when he had solids, then it was when he was crawling, Then it was try a bottle (he's BF) but I was so depressed one night I gave him formula even though I cried for ages because it wasn't what I wanted to do! It made NO difference at all, then it was when he was over the 8 month leap….and now he's a week off a year old.

Iv tried it all though. To the point… trying anymore is pointless! It’s horrible to dislike your own child at times because he doesn’t sleep and your that fed up hearing the same cry’s every 10 mins for 12 hours

He hardly even does an hour and a half from 9:30am for a nap... And then is awake until bedtime. Iv tired naps in the afternoon and he will not sleep. Iv tried driving round, walking in a pram. Iv tried early bedtimes, late bedtime. Brought two different mattresses, white noise machines, lights, played music on my phone, had teddy's and clothes that smell of me in his cot, tired sitting next to the cot so he knows I'm there, but he does absolutely mental to the point of throwing up because he wants me to physically hold him!
I have fallen asleep holding him. I have almost dropped him whilst walking round his room at night. Iv been sick and had headaches because I'm so tired. I would do anything for him to sleep! Just to sleep! Like people say babies do!! I have such PND because of the no sleep. But there's no help out there at all. Same to you! Alwaysssss awake and happy to chat xx

Don't underestimate how painful teething is. Even if you think they aren't teething, those little teeth are starting to work their way up through the gums.

If I had my time again, I'd definitely try a dose of calpol about 20 minutes before bedtime. If there's no difference probably not in pain. If they sleep better, there's your answer.

Definitely agree! Teething is absolutely horrible and painful. We've given him calpol a few days specially when he seemed so cranky and in pain and he still wasn't settled after it. We also gave it when he was back to his usual self just in case of some sort of pain still being there and they still didn't make a difference unfortunately

Still the same unfortunately :(

Oh gosh I'm am so sorry. I understand how difficult it is right now and I understand the emotions you feel. We are exactly on the same boat. I really wish there was more help from professionals but instead they always just push you back with something. My HV said to wait until a year and then said maybe until 14 months then said it doesn't really get any better and honestly I felt so deflated. When some days get harder I sometimes just sit and cry because I just miss being able to sleep for just longer than an hour.

I can see you've tried so much yet nothing is helping. Honestly I can only empathise with you. Sometimes people think you've not tried enough but they don't see how much you have done! 11 long months of trying different things to get your baby to just sleep.

Mine just woke up for the 2nd time and now I've just managed to get him back to sleep. It's already 12:11am and I doubt I'll be getting any sleeper either.

I'm thinking of you xx

I wish I had the answers for you too. That's magic wand to get babies to sleep would be a blessing right now!
I'm currently laying on the floor next to his cot, I'm just managed to get him back in there which is a small win for about 15 mins 😂 then he will roll over or move and wake himself up again and the crying starts and the cycle starts all over again too!
My poor eye balls are so tired and sore. I'm sure you feel the same!
I think my son has terrible separation anxiety issues and that's why he always wants me to hold him. I co slept a handful of times when he was around 5 months old but I didn't feel safe doing it as I was so tired and also he still woke and still cried so it didn't even help.
I could write a book about the things Iv tired. 😂 have you read any bits from "just chill mama" on Instagram? I always see people saying how great she is. Unfortunately I can't afford to pay another sleep consultant, the other half wasn't best pleased about the previous two that didn't work! Haha!

My children were both like that at the same age and the only thing that helped with stopping breastfeeding. As soon as they woke up they would automatically want to be fed and I was just so exhausted that I had to stop feeding them. They then started to sleep through a lot better.

Honestly I'm just sat waiting for a miracle for us right now lol.

My little ones the same. He'll move around and then just wakes himself up. The stinging pain from lack of sleep? Yes absolutely 😭

Aaah is that the case. I think someone told me around that time babies tend to be extremely attached to mum and feel the separation anxiety a lot more. Now the question is when does it get better 😭
I've Co slept too for a little bit and didn't help much. I feel like when he was younger he slept a tad bit better than now. He was easier to resettle compared to now when he wakes up. I just don't get it. Shouldn't they be getting better.

I've had a brief look at chill mama. Honestly I couldn't afford a sleep consultant before and I definitely cannot afford one now.
I'm so surprised to hear yours didn't work? All the stories I've read on tiktok or on someone's page were always about success and how they managed to figure out reasons for waking or their technique worked in a few weeks and baby was sleeping like a baby.

I am planning to stop just after he turned 1 so maybe I might see a difference then. Thank you. That gives me a little bit of hope!

At the moment when he does wake up I only feed him 1-2 times and the rest of the time he's awake I tend to just rock/ shush him back to sleep.

Iv sent you a private message. X

Hi OP it’s been about 6 months since you started this thread, can I ask how you’re getting on please? My 7.5 month old is exactly as you’ve described and I’m losing my mind. Tried everything, sleep consultant, Ferber, co sleeping, boob, dummy, no dummy, solid food, osteopath, GP and still no answers. He wakes every 30-60 minutes. Please tell me this just gets better as they get older.

Hi mama,

I’m sorry you’re going through right now and honestly I remember looking through forums so desperately for answers during those though times.

I promise it does get better! It will feel like it’s never ending and I honestly didn’t think it would get better. I gave up. Suddenly when he was around 13-14 months (he’s now 16 months so not that long ago) he started doing longer stretches! He would sleep for between 3-5 hr stretches and then wake up still several times a night after but it was such an improvement! Now he still wakes up but maybe 1-4 times max and again does between 3-5hr sleep stretch. I do co-sleep- ish- (we’ve attached his cot to our bed with that side off) so he’s technically sleeping in his cot but it just allows me to pat him back to sleep and he doesn’t feel so restricted in his cot (he moves around a lot in his sleep)
honestly I’m so happy with his current sleep because oh my gosh it’s such an improvement compared to 15-20 times/ every 30-50 minutes from the moment he was born to over a year.

Also he only slept through twice from 13-16 month old. I’m hopefully one day he’ll sleep through but for now it’s such an amazing feeling to finally have a baby (now toddler) who sleeps for a few hour stretch and less wakings.

I know it’s hard but I promise it does get better. I never thought I’d be in this place and look back at those days but here I am and you will be soon 🤍 sending you lots of thoughts and virtual hugs until then!

Just to say, very similar experience to @Dreamer98 , all randomly changed at 14 months but this coincided with me stopping breastfeeding so no idea whether that could have contributed. My now 16 month old also only wakes 1-4 times and DH and I take in turns to Cosleep with him after the first waking. Delighted with the set up since we have had it so much worse!

Hi OP and @Babyenroute

First time posting on MN, though I’ve been lurking since pregnant.

Good to hear it improved for you both from 13 months, I’m in a similar boat with my 9 month old.

Though she used to do 3 hours at the beginning of night much more often before 4 months, and does it sometimes now. But much more often it’s every hour to 2 hours all night. Can be more frequently than that.

I’m trying a version of pick up pick down with a gentle sleep course at the moment (just for half an hour at bedtime on the advice of the consultant as baby is sensitive and intense), and after 6 nights of this she still hasn’t even fallen asleep with the method, I’ve had to stop and feed her to sleep every time.

Can I ask whether you both stopped breastfeeding around 13 months, and if so how did you manage that if LO was previously feeding to sleep?

I had planned on BF for a year but she really seems to rely so heavily on it for the comfort to get to sleep I don’t know how I will stop!

I can imagine it might involve lots of tears. It all feels very conflicting and confusing as I absolutely don’t want to do controlled crying since having the baby but as I say stopping the feeding would probably send her hysterical anyway! (at the moment)

Really I’d prefer not to sleep train at all but not knowing when or how this will finish is so daunting. If it’s also all on me to get her to sleep without hours of outrage at bedtime and so frequently during the night, that means I can’t really go out in the evening or start my freelance work which involves occasionally going away or doing long hours.

We are lucky that we don’t desperately need my income but this uncertainty again makes me worry :(

Doctor has dismissed any worries about sleep, but weirdly a brief week or so of sleeping 3 hour stretches throughout the night recently coincided with recovering from a virus and being on Calpol.

I don’t want to over medicalise or worry, but equally I don’t want to suffer this sleep deprivation for months or years unnecessarily iyswim.

Weirdly at the beginning I struggled with mental health and insomnia with the night wakings, whereas now I feel mostly fine and get back to sleep very quickly (baby also transfers very easily to the cot asleep most of the time).

I’m not totally against cosleeping but I do sleep better usually without baby and I’d prefer not to go through the rigmarole of floor beds etc.

Realise I should maybe have started my own thread as it’s such an essay but any advice or solidarity, especially regarding BF from you both would be great! ❤️

@Piesnkozla sorry to hear you are going through the same sleep troubles! I defiantly wouldn't worry about her relying on the breast for comfort, I think that's totally normal. My son was completely obsessed until we stopped at 14 months when I think we were both ready. We started gradually so in the end, had very few tears. The key for us was distraction techniques.

DS started nursery at 1 so we had a few months where he was naturally not having any feeds during the day 4 days a week. After nursery he was always desperate but I started distracting him with a snack like a fruit pouch (yes not an overly good habit but that has also now been kicked). The distraction technique also worked for swimming lessons which he always seems desperate after and weekends took a little while of gradual weaning to totally kick.

I started by changing our nighttime routine. Actually triggered by me going out, DH doing bedtime and it going perfectly well. First step feeding in the lounge (offering bottle then boob if he hadn't had much as he didn't much like the bottle at first) rather than his room, then said good night and DH took him through for cuddles to sleep.
DH would go in through the night and bring him to me at around 2 for a feed. Luckily, we found he settled quite well with cuddles too and never screamed for hours for boob if it wasn't infront of him. This totally surprised me as I had assumed he wouldn't cope, with out it, I underestimated him!
When he got that after about a week, we decided to trial distracting him in the morning with a pouch of baby brekkie and DH getting up with him first and giving him breakfast and a cup or bottle of milk before I surfaced so that he was nice and full before seeing me and getting any ideas.
Gradually as he was offered bottle instead of boob, he started taking more (previously we couldn't get him to drink any more than 50 mls from a bottle). He also started accepting the bottle overnight from DH. We use the little disposable 70ml formula bottle overnight for ease and they have very soft natural feeling tetes which he seemed to like and find less intimidating than big bottles for some reason.
He soon started waking up only twice vs 6+ times
We picked the night to try no boob at random and it was unexpected, just because he was really tired and had a good bottle feed. It meant I wasnt aware of when my last feed was going to be which made it a bit easier. He went down fine and never had a breastfeed again. We had around three weeks buildup to this day with distracting him to have as few feeds as possible.
I didn't let him see me topless for about two months after in case he remembered what he was missing 😂. His solids intake also increased dramatically when he stopped breastfeeding

Let me know if you have any questions!

Ps, sorry for crazy reply time, currently on holiday with time difference