45m sleep chunks..I need advice!!

[Grumpynewmum23]

Hi

My baby is now 6m old (25wk) and since he was about 10 weeks old he has not sleep for more than 45mins in a row day and night.
I feel like I've tried everything I can think of (except crying related sleep training methods) to get baby to sleep for longer, I stick to age appropriate wake windows, I've tried extending naps, I've tried to pat his tummy and shush him, tried drowsy but awake, tried cosleeping, putting him in his own room etc but I actually feel like I'm going crazy because no matter what happens I get approx 60 total minutes of daytime to completely myself (he takes 3x45 min naps but takes 20ish mins to settle in, needs me there so about 20m left of each nap and partner works 80hr weeks on 2 jobs) and then overnight needs help to resettle every 45mins/feed every couple of hours. So normally goes to bed about 7 and wakes up at 7, with around 12/13 wake ups in between. Nap at 9ish, 12ish and 3ish (depending on wake ups).
So overnight for the last 15 weeks, I just havent sleep for more than about 35m in a row and I think I might be losing my mind. Makes me feel really emotional, has had such a negative effect on my relationship and just makes me feel so down.

Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do? Any advice welcome as I'm desperate for even 90m in a row 😫

@Grumpynewmum23 so we used to have a really consistent bedtime routine then start to rock to sleep but before she was fully asleep put her down, say 'night night darling, sleep time' and walk out. Leave her to grizzle for a few mins but if she got really upset go back in pick up and repeat. Gradually we were able to put her down at an earlier stage, eventually to no rocking and she can now fully self settle. You have to be really consistent and it took weeks, but she was never left to be upset. The reason we did Pupd was that she would go nuclear if you tried to shush/pat in the cot, and picking her up was the only way she'd calm down. I think some babies can be really frustrated/stimulated by pupd, particularly if they're over 6 months. But it worked for us.

I'd also echo what pp said about excluding medical issues. Someone else I know had a 15 month old that woke hourly since 3/4 months. He's been put on gaviscon now waking once! So suspect he had silent reflux. Allergies can sometimes also be to blame. Best of luck x

@sookie535 interesting you should mention medical issues.. I might speak to gp. We had a bit of a rough birth and baby got facial palsy and a torn sternocleidomastoid muscle as a result. Although it sounds awful but his sleep has actually improved since tongue toe release but he is also a mouth breather (my partner is too- could be worth ruling g out medical. he also has severe CMPA and many people in my family have allergies so could well be something similar.

@MooMa83 oh fab, once we've ruled out medical then might try!! Interesting about the silent reflux too!

My non-sleeping baby is also a tongue tied, CMPA baby. Though we had some progress last night. His second night in his own cot away from us and he only woke at 1, 4 and then 6 for the day. Of course I didn't sleep from 1-4 because I'm so used to getting none at all but fingers crossed this continues. I put it down to him finally getting used to not being swaddled, not bed sharing with me and putting put down slightly before being fully asleep and das shushing him to sleep from there.

One thing that was a good strategy for us was having a bath together just before bed. It was a relaxing skin to skin and less sticky in hot weather.

@CasaMundi sorry for the delayed response!

Interesting your LO is a CMPA/TT babe too.. maybe it's something to do with that though my LO is completely dairy free (well I am and he is by proxy!) and had his tt completely revised at 8wks on NHS. You'd think neither would be an issue now wouldn't you but who knows!
I'm glad you've had some success, waking at 1 and 4 is ideal - what time did you do bedtime?? I hope you've managed a few more nights of better sleep since ❤

@NellietheNumpty thanks for your response, we love a bath together, though don't always do it as it's just me at home at Bath time 6 evenings of the week and sometimes my only alone time for the day is having my wind down bedtime shower so I can be a bit sacred about it 🤣 but my lo does love a fun splashy bath together. I try and get loads of cuddles in during the day and babywear loads, do loads of playing and contact naps.

Yes I would be surprised if it was directly related... but I know I adopted some practices like letting him sleep on my chest to keep him upright, feeding to sleep etc as he was so unsettled because of his CMPA and I think that might contribute to his difficulties now. He's also very low on the centile chart as his growth was impacted by TT and CMPA and i wonder whether that makes him want to feed more overnight. Who knows.

Our 2 wakes was the best he's done. Since then he's been waking at around 12.30 (going to bed 8.30 or 9), and around 3 then coming into bed with me. Once in bed with me he always wakes every sleep cycle for a feed though I guess at least I don't need to wake up fully. This is much better than it was though so I'm pleased. We haven't done anything else different.

How us your little one doing @Grumpynewmum23 ?

@CasaMundi when did you discover his CMPA?
Mine was diagnosed at 6wk (which I hear is quite early) after nappies literally full of blood so I feel like 20+ weeks later our habits wouldn't still be affecting us 🤷‍♀️ but maybe later diagnosis = more ingrained habit?!
Possibly re centiles though my lo is 9n 91st centile and still wants to feed overnight (possibly as he is greedy though 🤣). I feel like it's just such an unknown and its frustrating..but I guess if we knew an easy fix we'd be millionaires.

12.30/3 still not too bad! It is easier feeding every cycle in bed isn't it.. still hard though having to become half conscious.

So since giving him a lil snack at 5pm, holding him through first sleep cycle and then feeding lying down thru night he is generally doing 6.30pm-7.15pm held, then sleeping til 11.30 now which is amazing by comparison. Feed @11.30, then around 1/2 then either 3/4 then 5 then awake for day at 6.30am. So about 4 wake ups for us which possibly still sounds a lot for some but when it was around 11 a night before then I feel like a different person by comparison. Daytime sleep still not amazing despite contact naps.. tends to have 45m/1hr at nap 1 and 2 then 25/30m at nap 3.

That said though for some reason tonight he's only sleeping when sat facing out on my lap so who knows re tonight!!