22 month old doesn’t sleep

[Stressedmum27]

Hi
I’ve posted here before but felt I needed a follow up post as I’m still really struggling . My little boy is 22 months old he’s never ever slept through and co sleeps with me (not my choice at all) I started co sleeping over a year ago because he wouldn’t sleep and was advised if this is what helped him and me from being sleep deprived then this is what to do . I’m now at 22 months and it’s so hard . Right now he’s waking up every 45- 1hour , he comes on me to breastfeeding (again something I wish to stop ) and then rolls off to go back to sleep but he doesn’t ? He immediately starts crying and won’t settle , he does this constantly and I’m not getting any sleep . It’s making me so so sad as I don’t know how to fix it ? I don’t know what’s wrong ?? What am I doing wrong that he won’t just sleep ?

I’ve got 3 older kids and they never were like this and I need help ! I’m so so tired and emotional about it all

he also doesn’t eat well , moans most days about absolutely nothing , won’t leave my side and if I do leave the room he’s inconsolable, he never sleeps in a pram and kicks off if he’s in it too long . I’ve never left him with anyone over night as he won’t sleep and I’m at breaking point

please someone tell me what I need to do

I'm sorry to hear things have not improved for you, you must be exhausted.

Are you still interested in weaning from the breast? Do you have a partner? If so, could they try putting him to sleep? That's what worked for us, with a few nights of screaming and crying... My son only slept through once he was night weaned.

Or, as he'll be able to understand more now, you could talk to him about how tired you are and that milk will be gone in the night/before bed soon, but he can have cuddles/a story etc instead. You could combine this with doing a countdown (that gets shorter every day) while he's breastfeeding.

It's ok to refuse him milk, you have to think of yourself too x

Sorry to hear this. I'm in a similar position. My ds is almost 3 and only every now and then sleeps through. I stopped breastfeeding last June thinking (hoping) it would help but hasn't. He wakes in the night anything from 11:00pm to 5:30am and I just bring him on with us as we are exhausted! He slept until 5:30am today which was great but that's because he's a bit under the weather. We have tried everything as well. You are not on your own!

thank you @anonima and @TwilightAb i am completely exhausted , I can’t remember the last time I slept well think it was before I became pregnant lol and I’ve talked lots to him about sleeping , being in his own bed , how mummy’s boobs hurt now and that he’s a big boy who doesn’t need boob etc and it just results in him sobbing . It’s so hard as I just want him to sleep and give me a break but it doesn’t happen I have to even go with him for a nap still . And yeah his dad tries to get him to sleep but all he screams for is me . I’m the default parent all he wants is me for everything even if his dad is beside him he will still ask me

Those of you with 3 year olds have you potty trained? Only my ds slept through the majority of time after I finally fully night weaned him at 2 and 3 months through til when he was potty trained at 2 and 9 months. When we first potty trained his sleep went awful and now he wakes once most nights and only very occasionally sleeps through. I'm pretty sure it's doing a wee that wakes him up. He's now 3 and 3 months.

Just wondering if that could be causing some of your continuing sleep woes too?

My ds is 2 years 8 .months and not potty trained yet. I don't know if it would mslr a difference as my dd was potty trained at 3 but not dry at night and out of night nappies until.she was 5.

My experience says potty training would probably make your situation worse. Not advising you not to do it because of course you have to but I wouldn't hang any hopes on it improving sleep! DS is obviously not dry at night but I think the act of weeing wakes him. Frustratingly he had a lot of dry nights when we trained him but that has stopped. I do wonder if he wakes up and decides to wee in his nappy.

I realise this is going off tangent but did you literally wait until your daughter was entirely dry over night or did you have to give her a push?

With my dd we tried a couple of times to get her out of nappies at night when we thought she was dry but it did take a couple of goes until we were confident in the end that she was dry. I've heard you can't really train at night as its when a certain hormone kicks in and is developmental, so we didn't rush it.

It can be so hard when they are screaming for you. The stress and guilt!

Honestly, I would go stay with a friend or book into a hotel for a couple of nights at the weekend and let your partner have a go on his own. (As long as your partner isn't the type to lose his cool...) Your son screaming and crying for ages is ok... he's frustrated, grieving, scared... but if he's got his dad there to support him, it's alright.

We had sleep issues with DC1 at around the same age and had ‘tried everything’. I got Lucy Wolfe’s books (not cry-it-out sleep training at all) and we followed her routine to the letter - started putting DC1 to bed at 6:30pm-ish in own bed after story, cuddle and quietly took her back to her own bed if she got up. It definitely took a plan (as we also had a newborn) and we set aside two weeks as suggested to tackle it. We cracked it after about 5 nights (with a bit of hiding outside the door and camping on the floor next to her bed for the first few nights) but after two weeks she was sleeping consistently in her own bed with an age appropriate bedtime and has ever since (now 5) unless she’s poorly. We spent a couple of days telling her we had a new big girl bedtime planned and got her some new story books which she chose. We can be more flexible around bedtime now that she’s older but we were very strict about bedtime routine for at least 6 months. We’ve followed the same routines from birth for DC2, now 3, and we’ve never had any issues.

@anonima and @Gigi606 I think I might have to leave for a day or two because he’s just getting worse . Granted he has been loaded with the cold but he was up every half an hour the other night so I’m ridiculously tired . Even his nursery said he’s been emotional today cos he’s so tired but he won’t sleep with them either .
Trying his cot and sleep training again this weekend so fingers crossed