Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Help has anyone solved split nights?!

43 replies

caramelsauce · 13/02/2023 02:19

Please tell me someone has a magic cure to stopping split nights!

21 month old is waking up for 4-5 hours every night for the past week.

Last time we went through split nights at 18 months it lasted 6 weeks! It just seemed to resolve itself one night but now it’s back.

Routine hasn’t changed at all so I’ve no idea what is causing this maybe teething but calpol or ibuprofen doesn’t help.

Wakes up hysterical and will only calm down when taken downstairs, doesn’t want cuddles will just thrash around only goes back to sleep after 4-5 hours when totally exhausted.

I just don’t know what to do! Any ideas welcome

OP posts:

LGBirmingham · 25/02/2023 08:50

Might have been a night terror? Ds does these sometimes in the hours before midnight if he was really overtired.

AnnaTortoiseshell · 25/02/2023 09:38

It looks like I’ve found my people! Both my DDs have had issues with split nights. With DD1 it took me so long to realise that naps long were the problem and with DD2 I’ve worked it out much quicker. The routines suggested online just don’t seem to work for my girls. DD2 will happily nap for ages but if she does she is up for 2-3 hours at night, and DD1 was the same. I nearly always have to wake DD2 from naps.

I’d be interested in what you think of our routine as I don’t seem to be able to get it quite right for DD2. She’s nearly 11m, and has been back and forth between one and two naps since 9 months (DD1 dropped to one nap at 10m). I’ve found that she probably needs to be up by 2pm at the latest for a 7.30 bedtime, and I don’t want to change the bedtime as otherwise bedtime would be such a long drawn out process as DD1 really needs bed by 7.30 latest. I don’t think she can manage more than 2 hours’ day sleep without it affecting her nights catastrophically, and her best nights seem to be where she has very little day sleep (more like an hour). Sometimes she does 12 hours straight through! More typically she wakes briefly and settles with a quick kiss and hand on her at some stage in the night which is fine. It’s the split nights I really want to avoid so I’m nervous to try a 2h nap in the middle of the day again, but then limiting her to one hour seems too mean and whilst she can go that long in the afternoon, she struggles in the morning as she’s tired.

Any ideas about what would work well?

LGBirmingham · 25/02/2023 13:21

What time is she ready for her nap in the day?

AnnaTortoiseshell · 25/02/2023 13:42

@LGBirmingham she goes down whenever really. Which is part of why I don’t really know what to do with her. She can go down three hours after she got up, or she can stay up til the middle of the day. Today she was up at 7 but we were busy in the morning so she’s gone done at 12.15 for her nap, and I’m going to get her up in a couple of minutes. But if we hadn’t have been busy she could have happily slept at 10am.

AnnaTortoiseshell · 25/02/2023 13:42

But she definitely needs 5.5 hours awake before bed! She’s a strange one!

OnMyWayToSenility · 25/02/2023 13:47

The only way I solved this was really shorten the day nap slowly to 1.5 hrs

Fed lunch earlier put him down by 11.45

And I put an arm chair in his room and just silently cuddled him until ready to go back to sleep. 20 mins or so. This may take a while if she's adamant she must go down stairs!

Never put lights on or take them out the room..

LGBirmingham · 25/02/2023 13:48

I'd personally push her til 11:30 and keep her busy and let her sleep as long as she needs. Mine regularly did 2.5 hour naps when he first transitioned.

LGBirmingham · 25/02/2023 13:49

LGBirmingham · 25/02/2023 13:48

I'd personally push her til 11:30 and keep her busy and let her sleep as long as she needs. Mine regularly did 2.5 hour naps when he first transitioned.

For @AnnaTortoiseshell

AnnaTortoiseshell · 25/02/2023 13:50

The problem is when she has really long naps she does the split nights. So two short naps worked better for a while (though I’d still have to wake her) but it’s harder to fit them both in before 2pm now

LGBirmingham · 25/02/2023 16:32

Would maybe an 11- 1 nap work? Then lots of awake time before bed? Might be worth a try?

Sleepyhead1010 · 26/02/2023 08:47

Woohoo - she actually slept through last night!!

I pushed the nap back to 12:30 and capped it at 1hr 45!! And actually had to wake her at 7 this morning!

Thanks so much all for your support and input!! Fingers crossed for tonight!!

LGBirmingham · 27/02/2023 07:05

Great news @Sleepyhead1010 hopefully it continues

AnnaTortoiseshell · 27/02/2023 10:21

Ah OP I hope the good nights continue!

@LGBirmingham i tried a single 1.5 hour nap on Saturday and she was up for over an hour in the night. Had a slightly better night last night (following 2x 35 minute naps) but she was up twice. She has started waking up and standing in her cot. Goes back to sleep immediately when I lay her back down, but it’s tiring to be woken. She was up at 6 today though which is early for her, so I’m letting her have an hour now and 30 minutes later. I just can’t work out what routine she needs at the moment! I’m guessing by the time I do she’ll grow into needing something else so maybe it’s just survival until she grows out of it. It’s frustrating as she can do 12 hour sleep throughs when she wants to!

LGBirmingham · 27/02/2023 13:09

@AnnaTortoiseshell yours is still a baby isn't she? Personally I would just take no split night and a couple of wakes as a big win. So many things make them wake at this age don't they? Probably walking is having an impact for you right now.

DS didn't sleep through til after I night weaned at 15 months and he still doesn't consistently sleep through now at 2 and a bit. Sometimes does, sometimes wakes once and a split night is very unusual thankfully. And that's pretty normal for others of his age that I know, even those who were much better at sleeping as babies than he was.

AnnaTortoiseshell · 27/02/2023 14:20

Yes I agree with you on that. Mostly it’s just the one quick wake which is so much better than it was. Plus she is teething and snotty at the moment. It’s just finding a routine that works for her and prevents the split night. She needs one nap, really, but if she has that longer sleep she seems to be up for ages. I just can’t work it out. My eldest didn’t reliably sleep through til nearly 18m and then she’s been fine ever since. Never went back to the split nights once they stopped, so I’m hoping DD2 is the same!

Sleepyhead1010 · 27/02/2023 20:42

Hi @AnnaTortoiseshell

Sorry - haven't been ignoring you!! I feel your pain but not sure I have anything useful to say! I think with mine when the split nights started (at around 12m) it was through her being overtired but never managed to find the balance again!! Hopefully yours is just a phase that passes very quickly!!

Eatentoomanyroses · 27/02/2023 20:45

I had to cut down naps to an hour in the middle of the day. It did take a good week to make a difference though. She’s still restless at night and needs resettling but at least we don’t have the 5 hours of being fully awake

Isabellaaa3 · 09/10/2023 11:01

Hello!! Just wondering if u had any luck with the split nights. My dd has been having these for more than a hear now despite trying absolutely everything.

Flip

1 2