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Original poster

2 month old still can’t sleep on back/in cot - exhausted.

50 replies

Pickingausernameistricky · 11/01/2023 16:42

I am exhausted after two months of next to no sleep struggling to function.

Our beautiful girl is two months old and does not sleep on her back. As soon as she’s put down she wakes with really loud tooty farts, grunting and then cries/screams.

We keep her upright after feeds, wind regularly etc. She’s EBF and feeds well and is a good weight.

sleeps absolutely fine on one of us… but as soon as we try to place her down she is so uncomfortable. Dr and health visitor only suggested Gaviscon, but she doesn’t seem refluxy. It could be silent reflux but I’m worried about giving her medication so young or anything really.

Infacol etc all have E numbers in, which I’ve been unsure of, but in desperation have tried gripe water and infacol (neither of which helped)

She can be upright on me for an hour, no wind, fast asleep… then as soon as she is on her back she’s awake, uncomfortable, crying, grunting and farting. I’m absolutely exhausted and desperate, the GP said “just keep putting her in her cot on her back”, tried this and then no one got any sleep for days and she was overtired and upset constantly.

Has anyone experienced this and have any ideas or solutions?

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Flittingaboutagain · 11/01/2023 16:49

This was our lives until about 5/6 months I'm afraid. We used to take it in turns to do shifts of not sleeping so we could sit up with her. Eventually the reflux settled with gaviscon but friends moved onto omeprazole by about six months. Growing into their guts is a thing. It settles by the end of the fourth trimester for most babies so you're nearly there! Your baby is still really new and whilst hard it is also very common.

Twizbe · 11/01/2023 17:02

A couple of things you could try.

  1. you can raise one end of her cot so that she isn't totally flat. Our next to me allowed you to do this by adjusting the legs. Otherwise you can put a rolled up blanket under the mattress

  2. this one takes a while and practice. When she's awake and happy lightly swaddle her / put in her sleeping bag. Cuddle her close and upright. Gently lower her onto her back while keeping her close. Going onto her playmat is quite good for this.

When she's on her back, keep close to her. Gently talking to her.

Gradually move away. If she cries pick her up. Do this slowly over time. Gradually move further away.

See how she reacts to it. Lots of babies don't like being put down, but if you put her down with you close she might feel more comfortable.

Original poster
Pickingausernameistricky · 11/01/2023 17:09

I just feel so useless not being able to comfort her and also not getting sleep myself is proving really hard.
thank you for the reassurance.
She’s just woken now after a nap on me and was all smiles then got hiccups and a phlegm sound in her throat and started crying 😔 this is infrequent but I didn’t try to put her down today as just wanted her to rest.

I haven’t been out with her much at all as she can’t tolerate the bassinet and screams/cries and it’s so stressful for us all!

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Original poster
Pickingausernameistricky · 11/01/2023 17:11

Thank you for the tips! We’ve tried raising the bassinet at one end to no avail. We were in hospital for a few days after she was born and the nurses said to do that!

She’s absolutely fine on her playmat … lies happily staring at her rainbow and I can potter about and even leave the room without her becoming distressed. It’s bizarre! It’s just her for or bassinet!

i will keep trying 😊

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StarsandStones · 11/01/2023 17:17

Have you tried a baby carrier to take her outside? Our DD has (silent) reflux, although much less now. A carrier helped for walks.

Twizbe · 11/01/2023 17:33

You can let her nap on the playmat if you need. My youngest used to sleep on the playmat. She loved it.

Original poster
Pickingausernameistricky · 11/01/2023 17:53

I have! She loves it but it’s a bit awkward when we’re going for food/coffee as nowhere safe for her to be. Thank you for the suggestion!

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Original poster
Pickingausernameistricky · 11/01/2023 17:55

I think because it’s softer she seems more comfortable? She never falls asleep on it though, did you used to place your little one on it when they were sleepy?
the day time I can manage the contact naps more but night times are so long and I get anxious thinking about it!

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Freshair1 · 11/01/2023 18:01

Bed sharing. She's ebf so used to being in very close proximity. She's also only 8 weeks old. Sounds normal. Exhausting yes, hence bed sharing. Research it. Saved my sanity!

MaverickGooseGoose · 11/01/2023 18:01

If she has silent reflux she needs medication. Dts had it and were medicated from nicu, .

We had cot wedges, the bassinets were tilted and propped on books.

Logically if you were in pain from burning acid would you take the medication to make it stop?

BridieConvert · 11/01/2023 18:03

My now 4 month old did this for the first couple of months! It was exhausting, especially with a toddler in the mix as well!

It was so bizarre she would sleep fine on us, in her bouncer, in her pram, occasionally in the baby box but NEVER in her Moses basket at night! She was attached to my boob all night it felt like. Tried infacol, gripe water, panicked and thought it might be CMPA (older child had this as a baby), contemplated gaviscon for silent reflux but it was useless for her sister so didn't want it for the baby if I could help it, but in the end it was basically just a case of riding it out and one day it just clicked!
Swaddling didn't help but putting her in a sleeping bag as soon as she was big enough definitely did ☺️ we also bought a new mattress for the basket but not sure if that made a difference!

SwordToFlamethrower · 11/01/2023 18:05

Have you tried cutting certain foods out of your diet? She might have an intelligence. Try dairy first and go from there.

Twizbe · 11/01/2023 18:16

Pickingausernameistricky · 11/01/2023 17:55

I think because it’s softer she seems more comfortable? She never falls asleep on it though, did you used to place your little one on it when they were sleepy?
the day time I can manage the contact naps more but night times are so long and I get anxious thinking about it!

Tbh she was my second so she kinda got dumped in there while tending to the 2 year old. Mostly I'd turn back and she'd fallen asleep 🤷🏼‍♀️

awakenme · 11/01/2023 18:33

It does sound like silent reflux. Gaviscon didn't work for us but omeprazole did. It will likely settle down as she grows but if not consider a cows milk intolerance/allergy.

BabyOnBoard90 · 11/01/2023 18:35

We had this problem, then trialled putting child to sleep on their front.

Worked like magic. While the advice is generally against this, after some research we felt comfortable. If she's in moses basket, try naps in the day where you can watch her consistently to ensure she's fine.

If she's able to lift her head /self with arms, more than likely she'll be fine.

Original poster
Pickingausernameistricky · 11/01/2023 20:23

I understand your train of thought but actually I’m not someone who jumps to medication before trying other things.

the doctor hasn’t diagnosed reflux but still gave me a prescription as that’s all they have time to do. I had awful reflux when I was pregnant but I didn’t take medication, we’re all different in the way we manage things.

I just don’t want to give her meds which could have horrible side effects and long term impact, if I don’t need to/if it’s not reflux/if there are better options.

If it was definitely reflux and Gaviscon was the only option I’d of course go straight to that.

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Keha · 11/01/2023 22:54

Do you breastfeed lying down? Will she fall asleep like that?

Aproposofwhatnow · 11/01/2023 23:14

The only solution for babies like this, other than waiting it out, is to put them to sleep on their front. You have to weigh up what you think about that.

Me? I was near delirious with exhaustion and realised that a baby sleeping happily on his front in the next to me crib was far safer than one falling asleep on my chest while I was semi propped up in bed every night.

Bababluesheep2 · 11/01/2023 23:23

Oh my goodness i would just try the medicine! Babies have been taking it for years and I’d be much more concerned about my baby being in pain / discomfort and also sleeping on their front before being able to roll back, than the long term effects of gaviscon!!!Also the worry that you’ll fall asleep with your baby because you are so tired.

kitcat15 · 11/01/2023 23:28

Pickingausernameistricky · 11/01/2023 20:23

I understand your train of thought but actually I’m not someone who jumps to medication before trying other things.

the doctor hasn’t diagnosed reflux but still gave me a prescription as that’s all they have time to do. I had awful reflux when I was pregnant but I didn’t take medication, we’re all different in the way we manage things.

I just don’t want to give her meds which could have horrible side effects and long term impact, if I don’t need to/if it’s not reflux/if there are better options.

If it was definitely reflux and Gaviscon was the only option I’d of course go straight to that.

So you would rather she is pain ?🙄

sausageragu · 11/01/2023 23:37

I put my son on his front and it was a lifesaver. Slept like a dream after that.

Lavender14 · 11/01/2023 23:47

My ds is the same, when he seems windy and burping him isn't working I lie him on his back and bring his knees up to his stomach- usually releases enough that he gets more comfortable

Original poster
Pickingausernameistricky · 12/01/2023 07:28

No, which is why she sleeps on us where she is comfortable.
Thanks for your helpful comment.
Asthe post states I came here for alternatives not to be made to feel like a shitty mum.
I will use Gaviscon if she has reflux (which hasn’t been confirmed) and if I’ve tried everything else.

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Original poster
Pickingausernameistricky · 12/01/2023 07:28

Thank you for the suggestion, I try this but no toots get released, also try the bicycle legs and rotations.

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Original poster
Pickingausernameistricky · 12/01/2023 07:29

Thanks for the suggestion, I’m not sure I could do this but understand why you have and so glad it worked for your little one!

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