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Sleep

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Original poster

2 month old still can’t sleep on back/in cot - exhausted.

50 replies

Pickingausernameistricky · 11/01/2023 16:42

I am exhausted after two months of next to no sleep struggling to function.

Our beautiful girl is two months old and does not sleep on her back. As soon as she’s put down she wakes with really loud tooty farts, grunting and then cries/screams.

We keep her upright after feeds, wind regularly etc. She’s EBF and feeds well and is a good weight.

sleeps absolutely fine on one of us… but as soon as we try to place her down she is so uncomfortable. Dr and health visitor only suggested Gaviscon, but she doesn’t seem refluxy. It could be silent reflux but I’m worried about giving her medication so young or anything really.

Infacol etc all have E numbers in, which I’ve been unsure of, but in desperation have tried gripe water and infacol (neither of which helped)

She can be upright on me for an hour, no wind, fast asleep… then as soon as she is on her back she’s awake, uncomfortable, crying, grunting and farting. I’m absolutely exhausted and desperate, the GP said “just keep putting her in her cot on her back”, tried this and then no one got any sleep for days and she was overtired and upset constantly.

Has anyone experienced this and have any ideas or solutions?

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Original poster

Pickingausernameistricky · 12/01/2023 07:32

Thanks. I don’t put her on her front to sleep.
we take it in turns to have her sleep on us.
I will try Gaviscon once I’m certain it’s reflux and have tried other options.

OP posts:

Twizbe · 12/01/2023 07:44

Tbh, you've tried lots, I'd give the gaviscon a go.

I understand your concerns but it might be what helps her.

LapinR0se · 12/01/2023 07:57

We also had a baby like this who despite special milk and reflux medication still would only sleep on us or her tummy.
in the end we weighed up the risks and let her sleep on her tummy.

KatieKline · 12/01/2023 07:59

We ended up co-sleeping i.e. bedsharing with all 3 of ours. So long as you research the safe ways to do it, it can work really well. Our 3rd child didn't even have a cot. She's still really young at 8 weeks.

teezletangler · 12/01/2023 07:59

I doubt you want to do this, but DD1 slept on her front as it was literally the only way to get any sleep. I weighed up the risks and benefits and felt comfortable with it. When in bed with me (we did a lot of bedsharing) she did settle more easily on her back IIRC- have you tried bringing her into bed to see if that helps? It is safer than potentially falling asleep with her on your chest.

She could have silent reflux, but I'm not totally convinced from the picture you paint, if she is otherwise entirely content and feeds well. Unfortunately Gaviscon is useless and really difficult to give to an EBF baby. If you're going to try meds, omeprazole is much more effective.

Catmum2023 · 12/01/2023 08:04

Aproposofwhatnow · 11/01/2023 23:14

The only solution for babies like this, other than waiting it out, is to put them to sleep on their front. You have to weigh up what you think about that.

Me? I was near delirious with exhaustion and realised that a baby sleeping happily on his front in the next to me crib was far safer than one falling asleep on my chest while I was semi propped up in bed every night.

I did this with my son and used an angelcare monitor. He wouldn’t settle in his back but was much happier sleeping on his front.

Aproposofwhatnow · 12/01/2023 09:06

Most babies naturally want to sleep on their fronts. Their little guts aren't mature yet and it's more comfortable for them. I think we've all been conditioned to be terrified into thinking they'll suffocate the second you put them on their front.

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 12/01/2023 10:12

Pickingausernameistricky · 11/01/2023 20:23

I understand your train of thought but actually I’m not someone who jumps to medication before trying other things.

the doctor hasn’t diagnosed reflux but still gave me a prescription as that’s all they have time to do. I had awful reflux when I was pregnant but I didn’t take medication, we’re all different in the way we manage things.

I just don’t want to give her meds which could have horrible side effects and long term impact, if I don’t need to/if it’s not reflux/if there are better options.

If it was definitely reflux and Gaviscon was the only option I’d of course go straight to that.

I understand worries about medication and have always tried to avoid them myself.

Keep in mind though that acid in the wrong place is bad for your baby and can have serious side effects too.

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 12/01/2023 10:15

Part of my message is missing!
I wanted to say that acid reflux can have serious side effects too!

flimsyclam · 12/01/2023 11:13

Our dd had this and turned I'm out to be cma and reflux. The only thing that worked for us was letting her sleep on her front but it was so worrying and exhausting constantly monitoring her. Sorry I have no real solutions. She did grow out of both the milk allergy and reflux though!

flimsyclam · 12/01/2023 11:14

My dd was also ebf btw and I cut out all dairy and made a little difference to her windy issues but the reflux remained and she couldn't sleep on her back without crying

awakenme · 12/01/2023 14:11

I was very worried about medication too but couldn't bear seeing my daughter in pain any longer. You could also consider trying to cut out dairy. This made the biggest difference for us.

Emmamoo89 · 12/01/2023 14:16

Try co sleeping x

Laserbird16 · 12/01/2023 14:29

Holy Dooley that's tough. My first DD would only ever sleep on me or in a carrier.

Here's what worked for us. We coslept, I would lie down and breastfeed her to sleep and she would eventually let go/or I would fall asleep. She liked sleeping on her side and it terrified me. I would go to bed with her early, my husband would wake up early and and take her (usually for a walk in the carrier) and I would get a few hours of proper sleep.

It was exhausting. Then she got older and it slowly got better.

DD2 was pretty independent and would quite happily be put in the cot. So there didn't seem to be some magic formula to sleep, it was whatever worked.

I hope some of that helps and do you have a HV or GP you can talk to?

catsnore · 12/01/2023 14:32

Sounds familiar 😂

Thing I tried:
Pillow wedge (wedge hog I think it's called!)
Sidecar the cot
After some time snoozing on you, gently roll sideways next to you, either onto cot mattress or next to you in bed if you can safely Co-sleep. They end up asleep on their sides to start with, but then often roll onto their back. I put the pillow wedge next to me in the bed so their head was elevated slightly which seemed to help with the wind.
Try daytime naps in sling/carrier and then later in pram/pushchair. Might be worth putting them into the pushchair early if it lays down flattish and you can make it cosy and snuggly for them with a liner etc. my first dd slept so much better in there than in the pram.

Keep trying different things. - you will get there!

Original poster

Pickingausernameistricky · 13/01/2023 11:07

Thank you for the helpful tips!
we have a next to you cot but the drop to it is too much for me to roll her into it. She also can’t tolerate lying on her back to co-sleep either.

she was so upset last night we tried the Gaviscon - it made her vomit and was awful I felt so guilty.

Will try the other tips, thank you so much ♥️

OP posts:

StarsandStones · 13/01/2023 11:11

Has she been checked for tongue tie? (Not all professionals can do this properly!)

Original poster

Pickingausernameistricky · 13/01/2023 11:11

Yes she’ll fall asleep on her side if I feed her in my side, but I can’t sleep as I worry so much so I try and pop her on her back and she wakes up instantly either tooting or grunting/sounding phlegmy in her throat!

I spoke to health visitor - told me to speak to GP, I spoke to the GP who wasn’t interested and just prescribed Gaviscon and said “keep putting her in her cot” so felt a bit lost in it all. We tried the Gaviscon last night and it was awful, she has been vomiting all of her feed up which she never normally does!

thank you for your lovely tips

OP posts:

Original poster

Pickingausernameistricky · 13/01/2023 11:12

I think cutting dairy is the next step thank you!
Gaviscon hasn’t helped at all. I’ll call the GP again

OP posts:

Tiddybiddy247 · 01/10/2023 04:49

I realise that this post is from a while ago but it's the EXACT same situation I'm having with my 6 week old. GP is not interested in helping, just said that it's normal and you have to ride it out. I'm curious months on from your post...is there hope?

MariaVT65 · 01/10/2023 04:56

DailyEnergyCrisis · 01/10/2023 05:03

Sounds like intolerance really- lactose, dairy, something else… hopefully the GP can help. Any eczema or skin rashes?

warmmfeet · 01/10/2023 05:57

Oh goodness my youngest was the same. I think he only went in his pram on his back twice in the new born stage, then just the carrier til he could go in the upright buggy around 5 months. It feels a shame doesnt it and it's hard when you can't easily get out.

But it will get better I promise.

My mother in law came to help when my son was about 10 weeks and put him down on his front in the Moses basket without telling me / asking me (I was in the shower) - he slept so well for 4 hours, his longest stretch. I panicked and I was cross with her but I couldn't deny he slept so well. He had a strong neck and could lift his head well, so I bought one of those alarms to go under the mattress and we carried on that way / he is 2.5 years now and has never slept on his back since, some people just don't like it. We had been cosleeping and him sleeping in me before that. He wouldn't stay in the Moses or next to me cot for more than 30 mins on his back.

Completely understand that goes against all the safe sleep advice and you might not want to do it at all. You can put him on his front officially safely when he can roll front to back around 6 months. Get all the support you can. Hope things improve soon.

Original poster

Pickingausernameistricky · 01/10/2023 07:57

@Tiddybiddy247 so sorry to hear you’re in the same situation.
I got so frustrated with being told “colic” which actually isn’t a thing, it’s a generic umbrella term for we don’t know!
I ended up paying for an IBCLC to come and see us both and she was SO helpful. Things didn’t improve instantly but we made some changes which meant I slept a little. We ended up bed sharing, so she was on her side on boob most of the night but she was so much more comfortable. I struggled to sleep still as was worried but she slept so well on her side.
ever since she’s been able to roll she’s slept on her front!
she’s now 10 months and no wind or reflux since weaning/being able to sleep how she likes. She is still dairy and egg free though as has allergies - so might be worth pushing for a referral to a dietician around this?
Since moving in to her own room at 6.5 months and being able to sleep through the night she’s mostly (some weeks this doesn’t happen) slept solidly from 8-6!

I read so so much research around things so happy to share my understanding of what could be helpful! I personally would stay away from infacol/gripe water etc which was no evidence base and has been shown to worsen symptoms of reflux and wind long term!

OP posts:

warmmfeet · 01/10/2023 09:19

Oh wow I didn't realise this was such an old thread. Oops! Glad things got better ❤️

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