Controlled crying not working!! Use another method or stick it out?

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Hi all, wondering if anyone can help me. 8 month old has to be held and rocked to sleep and then generally wakes up in the night (we rock and then he goes back to sleep).

We tried CC/Ferber for the past 5 days and he has stood up, gone to one corner and cried uncontrollably for over an hour.

We're a bit lost as to what to do? Do we stick it out or try another method? Gradual retreat maybe? Somebody please help.

How often are you going into him and what are you doing when you do go in?

We were going in after 10 mins (increasing the interval by 5 mins each time). Most times we lay him back down and then leave but he literally stands back up and continues to scream. The first 2 nights he eventually slept without help, nights 3 - 5 he has cried and worked himself up so much that eventually we've had to go in and console. We've tried to limit the touching and interacting though and not remove him from his cot. But yday he cried for hours...already dreading the tears this evening.

I think 10 mins is too long and I think you could offer more help when you go in.
i would start with 2 mins and do a lot of shushing and patting. I’d work up to 10 mins but that would be the max I’d do.

Is he napping and eating well?

Your baby sounds normal. Being rocked to sleep and waking in the night is normal.

Of course he's crying. You're not responding to his needs. In fact you're attempting to teach him that you won't be attending to his needs, presumably for your own convenience.

You don't have to do this to him.

His naps are 1hr at 9 and 1.5hrs at 12.30 with a catnap at 4pm (which he's currently fighting). Never really struggles but we do rock him to sleep for naps.

I had hoped to start with bedtime and then eventually get to naps with the training.

Eating 2 meals a day (along with milk...)

Would 2 mins be too short if we've already started with 10?

10 mins is far too long.

Start at one minute, then work up to ten, as a maximum (I'd go for less personally), one minute at a time.

When you go in lay him down, shush and pat until he's calm and then leave. And repeat.

You must not leave a small baby to cry for an hour!

If you are rocking him to sleep in the day then you need to rock him at night. Otherwise you do CC for every single nap and sleep. Consistency is key, otherwise your baby will be extremely confused. He is crying for you to rock him because that’s what he is used to.

if you do change to shush pat, do it every 2 mins and do it for every nap too.

You need to use the same method for bedtime and naps as well.

I would reread the sleep training guidance you're using because no method advocates leaving them to cry for an hour. I think maybe you've misunderstood.

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What has happened over the last 5 nights? Have they eventually goy themselves to sleep?

In my experience it's fine to focus on nights to start with. Different types of sleep. But the thing that is really important is not going through those hours of sleep training only to resort to rocking/feeding in the end.

He's just a baby. Rock him.

Consistency is key. So if you've eventually rocked him to sleep on nights 3 and 4 then he will cry for a long time again on night 5.
I would probably try staying with him repeatedly laying him down and stroking/patting his back and shushing him. Then after a while of that working and him going to sleep quicker with that method then doing a gradual retreat.

Ignore negative comments. Some people need to sleep train. Better to have a happy sleeping baby than a sleep deprived parent. Which is very dangerous.

But the OP say they rock him and he goes back to sleep. So what's the need to leave him crying in his cot for an hour? Everyone with an 8 month old is tired. They get bigger, it stops. Leaving a baby crying for an hour isn't the one.

Ferber methods/CC methods don't work for all babies. For some babies, the crying is like an emotional release that they need before they can go to sleep. Other babies escalate and will cry more and more and more. These babies will only sleep out of exhaustion and learned helplessness (no point crying cos no one's coming). You need to know which way your baby is leaning - it sounds as though the latter.

I wouldn't leave an hour. I give my son 15 mins max

I would reset and go back to rocking to sleep as he’s currently probably exhausted and will start associating bedtime with distress. Then try again but a bit more gradually?

Oh wow 8 months is so tiny! Crying for 10
mins in the corner of his cot! I’d find a gentler technique at that age personally. Definitely gradual retreat or shh Pat both of which were helpful with my first born who had to be held foreverrrrr. He was most likely older than 8 months when we started though.

I just don’t understand what’s wrong with rocking him to sleep? Surely it’s not worth him crying for an hour. Sorry if I’m missing something. We did the pick up put down method when DD was one & it worked for a bit but she reverted back a few months later. These sleep training methods don’t work for everyone & nor do they work forever.

Look up habit stacking. Lindsey Hookway has some good info on her Instagram on habit stacking.

Breast or formula?

Does he drink milk in the night?

I'd replace milk at night if he has it with an offer of water.

Maybe drop the 4pm catnap?

I'd also cosleep.

This 100%
It is upsetting to hear this.
Please don't teach him that if he cries you won't help him.

We recently used this method on our 20 month old, she only cried for 20 mins the first night. We went in every, few mins, I think we were going to extend to 10 when she fell asleep.

At her age tho I feel like it was more of a protest cry. She wasn't crying uncontrollably or inconsolable.

I think 8 months is perhaps a little young, and if they are crying for an hour I'd leave it for now and maybe try again in the future.

I was only going to give the ferber method a few nights tbh, was surprised it worked so well but I really don't think it would have under 12 months. I fed to sleep til 10 months then rocked /held her til recently but she'd started taking ages then waking in the night a lot.

There's nothing wrong with rocking your baby to sleep, he's only 8 months old! He won't need to be rocked to sleep when he's 2! Also normal to wake up in the night. It will pass. Just cuddle him! (Personally I'd move the 12.30 nap a bit later though and drop the 4 pm nap, which won't be helping).