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Original poster

Almost one year old not sleeping the night

29 replies

itsmehiimtheproblemitssme · 20/12/2022 04:00

...and it's driving me bonkers.
He's been up since 3am now, nothing works to get him back to sleep.
Rocking, patting, bottle, white noise. Even let him cry it out for half hour out of pure desperation but he cries himself into a state and it makes things worse.
Should I just deal with the fact I don't have a sleeper? And get used to multiple night wakings?
Not had a decent sleep in eleven and a half months and it's starting to really affect me. My partner is great and wakes up with him every night too, at least once if not more, but I can't shut off from it either and end up laying awake anyway.

OP posts:
MsChatterbox · 20/12/2022 05:00

Mine were both closer to 2 before sleeping through. Hang in there! Also download the huckleberry app in case it's a nap issue causing the early mornings.

Matilda1981 · 20/12/2022 05:04

I would think it’ll be because he’s not tired enough - I’d look at naps as a starting point. Is he walking properly now?

alittleadvicepls · 20/12/2022 05:10

Same boat here. He’s 11 months. Wondering if there’s some sort of developmental leap or something because we’ve taken a step backwards for the past week 😴

user1483387154 · 20/12/2022 05:12

2 years 4 months here, waking every 2 hours. it is exhausting and seems unfair when so many say their hild slept through from 6 mobths etc. but you will get through it

MandaLynn · 20/12/2022 05:14

DS1 was like that. We ended up doing CC at 13months as we just couldn't keep going with so little sleep. It definitely helped, even if he's still not the best sleeper (now 4yo)

What are naps like? I'd try adjusting those first, to see if he's getting too much daytime sleep?

Oblomov22 · 20/12/2022 05:27

How much sleep is he getting in naps? Too much?

Blueyismylife · 20/12/2022 06:43

3 years in and mine doesn't sleep through. It is what it is 😧

Skinnermarink · 20/12/2022 06:54

Not necessarily too much sleep in daytime naps- possibly not enough, he might be overtired. Lots subscribe to the cutting of the morning nap asap in favour of a long one over lunch, but I disagree. That first nap is very restorative and it would be mad to cut it as it’s the one that eventually gets pushed back gradually later to become the long lunch nap.

ChristmasCakeAndStilton · 20/12/2022 06:54

"He"ll sleep through when you start solids"
"He"ll sleep through when he's walking"
"He"ll sleep through when you sleep train"
"He"ll sleep through when you start preschool"
"He"ll sleep through when you start school"

No, no, no, no, no and no to any other miles stones.

DS doesn't believe in sleep. I don't think he sleeps through now (at secondary). What he does now know is that everyone else wants to sleep, so he needs to be quiet ad in his room.

Can you and your partner switch it around - for us, 4 solid house each a night worked best. Others prefer one night on, one night with ear plugs.

You aren't alone.

Skinnermarink · 20/12/2022 06:58

As above though, with the best will in the world, sometimes you can try everything and they won’t bloody reliably sleep. It’s really hard though.

Bestcatmum · 20/12/2022 07:01

I have replaced children with my bladder. That keeps me up all night. Ffs.

Original poster
itsmehiimtheproblemitssme · 20/12/2022 07:09

Thank you everyone. He has one daily nap, lasts for about 2 hours and it's around 10am in the morning. He wakes at 5.30/6, goes to bed in the evening around 6. So definitely overtired by bedtime I'd think. It was 7 before, but since the clocks went back I can't get it back to how it was...I'm totally failing.
I've tried to get him to nap twice daily by cutting the morning nap short but he's not interested at all, so instead I'm trying to make that morning nap start a little later (it was 9, so I'm getting there).

Glad to know I'm not the only one who's horrifyingly sleep deprived but I am sorry if that's you too. 😂

OP posts:
Reluctantadult · 20/12/2022 07:17

I would also say nail the daytime routine and do controlled crying. That's my experience anyway.

MandaLynn · 20/12/2022 08:31

Definitely would think it's over-tiredness.

I'd be tempted to keep trying for 2 naps. I think the wake window for 11mo is 3-4hrs.

Skinnermarink · 20/12/2022 08:31

He’s awake ever such a long time between nap and bedtime.

Skinnermarink · 20/12/2022 08:34

I’m not criticising OP! Just wondering if getting the nap sorted would have an effect. Mine is 15 months, and his preference is still for two naps a day. An hour in the morning and 1.5 later in the afternoon. He doesn’t get that at nursery though, one nap 11-1ish and I definitely notice when he’s overtired and we get rough nights.

Original poster
itsmehiimtheproblemitssme · 20/12/2022 08:44

Skinnermarink · 20/12/2022 08:34

I’m not criticising OP! Just wondering if getting the nap sorted would have an effect. Mine is 15 months, and his preference is still for two naps a day. An hour in the morning and 1.5 later in the afternoon. He doesn’t get that at nursery though, one nap 11-1ish and I definitely notice when he’s overtired and we get rough nights.

Yes you are right. I'm gonna keep trying with the two naps of shorter length and see if that helps. In the past when I have managed to get him to have two naps it hasn't really helped though, but maybe consistency is key :)

OP posts:
MandaLynn · 20/12/2022 09:14

maybe consistency is key :)

Definitely! I know I was guilty of changing something for a day or two and if it didn't magically fix his sleep, I tried something else. Which is silly, need to give it time to help

Original poster
itsmehiimtheproblemitssme · 20/12/2022 13:38

MandaLynn · 20/12/2022 09:14

maybe consistency is key :)

Definitely! I know I was guilty of changing something for a day or two and if it didn't magically fix his sleep, I tried something else. Which is silly, need to give it time to help

This is me. 😂
What time did you little ones go to bed/wake up? Just out of curiosity. I think my son has too long at night (12 hours but very broken). Just not sure!

OP posts:
Snoops123 · 20/12/2022 13:44

Blueyismylife · 20/12/2022 06:43

3 years in and mine doesn't sleep through. It is what it is 😧

Snap!
I have history of having bad sleepers though - my now 13 year old still woke up every night and crept into my bed in the middle of the night till she was 7!!! Both little ones look like they’re the same haha.
Its sometimes just one of those things - I’ve found it best to accept and find a decent concealer for the eye bags 😂😂

felixthefox · 20/12/2022 14:02

Waking in middle of night and not settling has always been because of too much daytime sleep or lots going on developmentally. Doesn’t sound like you are having too much sleep so could it be development? Is LO trying to master walking/has he been working on words lately?

We had 12hrs (woke 3-5 times)
overnight and 2hrs in day 12-2pm from 11months.

For coping with the wakefulness at night, if nothing is working and he isn’t upset, can you make his room baby-safe and then let him play while you lie on the floor and doze? Not ideal but if he isn’t tired then you won’t be able to force him to
sleep so you may as well roll with it rather than stressing about getting him to sleep. We found this was the least bad solution.

Blueyismylife · 20/12/2022 20:39

Snoops123 · 20/12/2022 13:44

Snap!
I have history of having bad sleepers though - my now 13 year old still woke up every night and crept into my bed in the middle of the night till she was 7!!! Both little ones look like they’re the same haha.
Its sometimes just one of those things - I’ve found it best to accept and find a decent concealer for the eye bags 😂😂

Show quote history

7!!! Nooo don't tell me that lol!

kernowpicklepie · 20/12/2022 20:45

That seems pretty normal considering he goes to bed at 6pm, means by 3am he's had 9 hours of sleep so that might be all he needs overnight.
My DD has 10 hours overnight.
I'd try pushing his nap back to a bit later and giving him a later bedtime, he should then start waking later aswell but might take a little bit of trying and playing around to get it right.
My DD is 16 months and wakes anytime between 7:30/8:30am, nap around 6 hours after that anywhere from 2-3 hours and then her bedtime is usually 9pm. That's late for a lot of people but I don't fancy waking earlier so it works for me.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 20/12/2022 20:49

Give it a couple more years...

justcouldntthinkofausername · 20/12/2022 20:52

Mine is 21 months now and still won't sleep all the way through without me having to go in twice (normally around 1 and 4) to settle him back down. I have accepted the fact he is not a good sleeper (DM and DMIL also say we were the same)

You are lucky your husband helps a lot during the night......
Mine does not AT ALL

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