4 year old and 6 year old sharing room

[Lazyi]

Hi there,

my kids share a room. They both have trouble falling asleep at night, so normally I sit with the little one while the big one is downstairs and the. Go over it all again with the big one. It’s taking all evening and everyone gets upset. Any tips or routeins I can follow to help? Have tried lots in the past, but either it takes so long with the little kid, that it’s too late for the big kid, or trying them both together leads to lots of tears. Help!!!

Both to bed at same time. 4 year old chooses first story, 6 year old chooses second. Kisses, lights out and off you go.

I have a 2 and 5 year old that share a room. I put the 2yo down first while the 5yo tidies up his toys and gets into pjs and then the 5yo goes into my bed with the lamp on to do some reading until the 2yo falls asleep. If he falls asleep in my bed then ill take him through but most of the time he is still awake albeit sleepy.

This

Ha ha ha ha! If only it were that easy! Crying from both, getting out of bed, howling etc…

Bumping for advice please… really having a hard time of it

Do what you can to do them together. Could you read stories at the same time and then the older one read to themselves in their bed or in your bed until they get transferred? would it be possible to problem solve this with them? Why are there tears?

Mine are a bit younger than yours but we do bathtime together, into pyjamas then both into bed and we put stories on the yoto player and I lie on the floor silently - as it’s not me reading/telling a story, they’re not constantly asking me questions/interacting with me. Quite engaging things to listen to, so they end up lying in their beds in the dark for long enough to drop off.

I also find it’s a LOT easier if they’re physically tired - generally on days we’ve been busy and outdoors a lot, bedtime is really quick, but takes longer if it’s been a ‘wet play day’

I think you really need to do them together. They are close enough in age that time wise it should be fine. What is the crying about? They each choose a story and then you can stay there till they're asleep if the leaving is upsetting one or both?

I've never had any issues when putting my kids to bed. Bath, clean teeth, story in bed, kiss, off to sleep. What are they crying for? Genuinely don't know why they would cry? Mine never did.

Yes that's exactly what I do.
The only difference is that we leave the bed time light on.

I think that at the beginning it's gonna be struggle if they are not used to the regular bedtime routine.
It needs persistent work.

Re your post of 17.57 (I can't quote quotes).
Honestly - that isn't acceptable to me by a 6 year old. Tough. Proper routine of bath, stories, cuddles, whatever to know they're loved. Then, door closed, and leave. Ignore tantrums. If they get up, they get put back with zero attention.

Just keep at it. What are they crying for?

I'm too tired in the evenings for shenanigans so my heart would be ice cold for howling.

Really can’t understand why you can’t do them both together… can’t advise without knowing why they cry, what is so difficult?

Ride it out. Make the rules clear and stick to them. You're the adult, you're in charge. Stop letting them have so much power, it isn't good for them.

Didn't want to read and run OP but my questions are the same as the PPs.

Mine are 5 and almost 2, they don't share but on nights DH is out I put them both to bed at the same time - dinner then milk and ceebeebies bedtime, then bath together. Get little one out and into pjs while big one spalshes alone; then big one out and into PJs while little one 'reads his baby books' (usually hoons about wildly chortling and throwing things TBH but oh well).

Then both kids get into 5 yos bed while I read their choice of stories, up to 3 or 4 nice bedtime books if the little one can concentrate for long enough. Then big one gets a loving cuddle and I turn the fisher price bedtime rainbow on for him (www.argos.co.uk/product/4239808) while I take the toddler off to my bed to co-sleep.

You'd have to tweak the ending but it's a solid routine and as long as they've had a reasonable amount for dinner and a couple of hours of fresh air in the day, they are both out like lights - obvious exceptions when they are ill or what have you, but 9 times out of 10 we don't worry about bedtime.

Is the sharing a new thing that's disrupting them? Would it be easier for you to find a way to separate them, do you think? Just curious about if something has changed recently or if you've always had this struggle.

All the people saying they never had issues - miracle parenting skills clearly, nothing at all to do with the temperament or personality of your child 🤣 poster is asking for advice which you’re not actually giving btw!

If they room share would they just keep each other awake?
I bath mine together then we put pjs on in one room (sounds idyllic but often turns in to wrestling them in to their pjs) then we read a book in one bed, lights out whilst I put the other in bed. Stay with them for 5-10 mins then go back to the other one and do this until they’re asleep. Yes I may get flamed for letting them “have the power” and all that bollocks but at the end of the day they’re only little once and I want them to fall asleep peacefully knowing I’m there and they’re both equally as important to me. I also enjoy the little chats with them both at bedtime and find out much more about their day than I would just saying night and walking out. Connection is my priority. it doesn’t mean they don’t have boundaries or that they don’t follow them. If anything I feel they come to me with problems knowing I am there for them.

Magic sleep spray.

Spray a little on both their feet and rub. tell them they just have to count to 20 in their head 20 times with their eyes shut and once they have done it you will come back up to check on them again.

Chuck an audio book on like topsy and Tim or Paddington that lasts more than 30 mins

Works 9/10 times in some variation or other when needed, but these days they have kind of got into the habit of sleeping so we are using it less.

Magic sleep spray is just a small spray bottle of water these days. It was something official with lavender and magnesium in originally.

I have the same type of dc, (mine are a bit younger) they would be sobbing snotty messes or out of bed, messing around and causing overtired trouble if I left them to go to sleep. I cuddle both to sleep at the same time and play an audiobook bedtime story on my phone. They don't like their Daddy doing it it has to be me apparently. So they're both in the bottom of the bunk bed by choice and I extract myself from the middle of them when they're asleep. It takes about 10 minutes on a good day.

Also another thing I’ve done when nights have been really hard and they’re both crying and wanting me at the same time is get them in my bed, read a story, lights out, cuddle to sleep then transfer them to their own beds when they’re asleep. Obviously some children don’t transfer as easily but when I have done it I’ve told them once you’re both asleep I’ll move you to your own beds and this has worked.

Here's that magic rainbow link again without the brackets messing it up - just in case! :) www.argos.co.uk/product/4239808

And yes the magnesium spray is also very good though mine sometimes complained it was stung a bit www.superdrug.com/health/sleep-relaxation/snoring-sleep-remedies/betteryou-magnesium-sleep-spray-100ml/p/815341

Mine are the same age gap and by school age they went to bed together. We split them up at 7&9

I feel that way too. One day they will be too old for all these snuggles at bedtime. I love that part of each day. No rushing around, but chatting quietly about their day, talking over any worries after reading books etc. Cannot beat it.

They are old enough to go to bed. Honestly, it’s you. You don’t think they can do it, so you don’t do it.
Decide on a routine, then do it and stick to it. The first few days will be awful, but they will get better. Tell yourself to persevere for 1 month, I guarantee after that, they will follow the routine you have set.

No advice, but just to say that sounds awful. Nightly bedtime routines drain the lifeblood out of me. I need some downtime for sanity 💐