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Getting my 7 and a half month old to sleep through...

90 replies

Juicylucytoo · 27/01/2008 16:23

Right, I haven't had more than 4 hours sleep in one stretch since he was born in June. I excluxively breastfed for 6 months. Then around Christmas I started to introduce Formula. He gets Formula (7oz) at 3pm, 7pm and 11pm. I then breastfeed at 2am, 5/6am, sometimes 9am and then again at Midday.

For about the last 2-3 weeks I've noticed that he is only snacking at his lunchtime and 3pm feeds.

So, I have finally decided to give up the nightime "on demand feeding" thingy (normally 2am-3am) and started last night with only offering water and trying to rock him to sleep.

At 4.15 I gave in and fed him.

Am I doing it right?

Do I perservere to get him on the right sleeping / eating pattern?

Please share any experience / advise.

Feeling like a mean mum by not feeding him, but now extremely knackered

Thanks

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
movingdoctor · 10/02/2008 08:50

hope someone can help - am also having problems with our 71/2 month ds with sleeping through
he is weaned, has 8oz and cereal/fruit for breakfast at 7ish, lunch at 12, 4oz at 2.30ish, supper at 5 and then bottle at 6.30 - problem is he is so exhausted by 6.30 that he falls asleep after about 2oz. he then wakes at anytime in the night really demanding milk and then is impossible to settle for about an hour. am at wits end as we thought it was a phase but has been going on for about 6 weeks. help please

Swaliswan · 10/02/2008 09:09

Movingdoctor, when is he having naps and how long for?

charlyp · 10/02/2008 10:26

movingdoctor - i have same problem - 8 month old wakes at anytime between 3 and 4.30am and is awake for at least an hour - have managed to get to point of leaving him in cot and comforting and only giving water but last night was last straw and have commenced CC - leave for 5 mins, stroke head for a minute to calm, leave for 5 mins. He went back after 45 mins although woke again 20 mins later and then took another 15 mins. Might have blown it though as when he woke at 615am took him into spare bed and we both slept til 8.15 - but am going to persevere tonight. Think it is time to get tough now I know he understands more whats going on - he certainly knows what no means!

movingdoctor · 10/02/2008 10:47

thanks for the responses: swaliswan his naps are about 1 1/2 in am from 9ish to 10.30ish and then at 1ish for about the same amount of time
charlyp - did do the controlled crying before when he was about 51/2 months as he was only taking a few oz in the night so realised he was having us on but as he takes so much in the night and not taking his final bottle thinking he needs it

charlyp · 10/02/2008 11:24

MD I thought the same as up to a few nights ago DS was having his 3 meals a day and then having 3-4 oz at bedtime, 5 oz at 1030, 6oz at 2 and then another 8oz at 3 or 4 so I was sure he was hungry, but he started eating less in the day and I think he was compensating, I just switched one night, made him 8oz at bedtime - he had 3 and fell asleep, he had the other 5 when he woke at 11 and then when he woke at 3 I just gave him water in a sippy cup, it made no dofference to how long he was awake from when I was giving him the 8oz and now after 2 nights of not giving him more than his 8oz bedtime bottle over the course of the night he is eating more in the day. The night wakings are gradually improving, but its a long haul and is very hard because I am so tired all the time. My original problem was that he not only wanted a feed, but also wanted to come out of the cot for a cuddle and wouldn't settle in the cot at all. Now once he is in at 730 - 8pm I give him any drinks in the night in the cot and settle him by hanging my head upside down and kissing, stroking his head to calm him before leaving for a few minutes - but as I say am only on day 1 of CC. I am back to work in a couple of weeks so keen to resolve if possible before then - I could handle him waking up and going back to sleep quickly, but my problem has been this 90 minute early morning awake period(at 3 or 4am. I am not great with routine but am trying to standardise his naps a feeds a little in the day and I think the routine of nursery 3 days a week will also help with this.
If you can wean your DS off the night feeds again it might mean a couple of tough nights but then at least you know you he is not waking for food.
Its tough situation - after so long of not having a decent nights sleep you do start to feel like you are operating on some alternative reality! Will let you know how things go here

Swaliswan · 10/02/2008 12:49

MD, before you tackle the night feeds may I suggest that you jiggle his naps a bit so that he isn't overtired at bedtime? This will ensure that he is able to have a full bottle and then will also have to learn to settle without falling asleep with the bottle in his mouth. Naps have a huge impact on nighttime sleep which is why most sleep 'experts' advise you to deal with naps and food during the day first. I've looked at my three (!) sleep books and have found that the advice varies a little but essentially they say that he should probably have 3 naps instead of two to avoid the overtiredness at bedtime. Some babies his age may cope with just 2 naps but others need three.

The suggestions for times and length of naps are 9:30/10:00 for 45-60mins (no longer so that he naps properly in the afternoon and avoids overtiredness at bedtime) then 12:30/13:00 for 90-120mins then 15:45/16:15approx for 30-45mins. At least one of these naps should be in his cot. If you get the timing right, he should be more awake at bedtime but the timing of the last nap should be done carefully to avoid it being too late and encourage early-morning waking the following morning. At about 9mo, you would expect him to drop the late afternoon nap but may increase the lunchtime nap.

Do you have problems with getting him to sleep in a cot or with early morning waking? Are you willing to try jiggling his naps like this and give it a short while before dropping other feeds at night? At least this way you would know that he has had all the milk he needs. Once you are confident that he doesn't need the milk at nighttime, there are several ways you can stop the night feeds which will take anything from about 3 days to about 3 weeks.

KandCsmum · 10/02/2008 22:11

MD
I think Swaliswan is right about naps being so important. My dd definitely sleeps better at night if daytime naps work out right. She sleeps at 9am for 45 minsish and 2 hours at midday. She goes to bed at 6.30pm with a small bf and has a feed at 11pm. (and 5am till a couple of days ago). I am back to work end of March so want to crack mornings soon.

I thought my dd was hungry at night but she didn't feed long this morning despite have cried for 2hours! Also they need a night of little milk to be hungry enough next day. Then they eat more and hopefully next night will be better (or so I am hoping). Charyp sounds like my dd was doing same as your ds. She had most of her milk at night. It took 4 nights to stop night feeds. I went in every 15mins very briefly gave her a kiss and left (any longer and I would pick her up) I sat down stairs watching tv (and clock) in small hours! (husband's helpful suggestion was shut the bedroom doors and turn off the monitor).

Will keep fingers crossed that everyone gets sleep tonight.

Juicylucytoo · 10/02/2008 22:37

Hello to all fellow nighttime sufferers!!

Last night was more of the same:

2.45am Awoke - went back to sleep with dummy
3.20am Woke up and pacified until fed at 4.00am. Wouldn't settle and at 5am DH gave up and got up with him.
Both came back to bed at 7am.
7-8am slept in his own bed.
8-9am in our bed at slept on and off. Finally slept until 9.45am

I have decided if he wakes tonight I am going to feed him at that moment. We are both still suffering from the cold and I think I am sloggin a dead horse at the minute, but will be watching for all success stories before I start my next attempt.

Wishing you all peaceful nights

OP posts:
Swaliswan · 12/02/2008 06:59

Well DD slept from 19:00-05:20 last night but never managed to go back to sleep after that. I have no idea how she will sleep tonight. How is everyone else getting on?

movingdoctor · 12/02/2008 14:56

i get what you mean about his naps in the day but it is almost impossible to wake him if he is asleep
have found that he needs about 1 1/2 hours in the am otherwise he is very cranky at lunchtime - so if he only sleeps for 45 mins at 9 he will usually have another nap at 11ish for 1/2 hour - i feed him at 12 and his afternoon nap can start from anytime between 1 & 2 - he does not want any milk in the afternoon although i have tried
have to say he used to have a pre-sleep nap at 4ish but he just screams if i put him down then and does not seem tired
he has always been very good at going to sleep in his cot at nap times - there is a bit of grumbling but he generally goes off
last 2 nights were 12.30 awake - dummied him and he went back to sleep, 2.20 awake and he went off by himself, 4pm dummied him, 4.50 awake but went off by himself - so no feeding but still a disturbed nigth
dh did last night and he woke at 2.30 and would not be settled so he fed him and he went off with no trying to play and chatter
have some to the realisation that there is no magic formula and i guess i will just ahve to go with it - am also returning to work soon so not sure how i will feel then!
is good to offload though and knowing other people are suffering as i makes me feel less of a failure!

Juicylucytoo · 14/02/2008 08:58

Soory, haven't updated in the last couple of days. My nights have been as follows:

Sunday - really rubbish. DH slept downstairs as my cough was waking him and (I think) interfering with DS's sleep. DS came in with me about 3am and the only way I could get him to sleep (about 6am) was to lie with him in my arms . Slept till about 8 and then took him downstairs and handed him over to DH. Spent the day in zombielike status.

Monday - DS woke at 1.11am -put dummy back in, slept till 6am - YOOHOO!!! - Probably knackered from night before

Tuesday - woke at 1.45am, wouldn't be settle. Brought him into bed with us. Eventually gave in and fed him at 3am, after which he went back to sleep (stayed in our bed), but was stirring every 1/3 - 1 hr, but could be shooshed back to sleep.

Wednesday - woke at 1.45am. He is still really suffering with a snotty nose, so won't take the dummy at the moment (as can't breathe). Would fall asleep in my arms as soon as I picked him up, but would not be put down, so eventually shooshed him back to sleep in the cot by using CC (1min in, then progressively 2, 3, 4 and 5 minutes out) after about 45 minutes. Woke again at 3.00. Managed to shoosh him back to sleep by about 3.20. Didn't wake again until 7am, (although TBH he may have and I may have slept through from exhaustion ).

DH has gone back to work for a fortnight , so was on my own last night, but at least I didn't have to answer the usual "whats wrong with him" with my usual "I don't know I'm not the fuffing Oracle" at 2am in the morning

I think we're making progress, but with his cold it's difficult to tell...

How is everyone else doing?

OP posts:
Swaliswan · 19/02/2008 09:12

Hey everyone. How are you all doing?

DD is generally improving her sleep gradually but we have a new problem. The last couple of nights she has slept from 7pm-5am straight but then will not re-settle once she has been fed. I'm not sure that she is waking because of hunger so I wonder if I should stop offering her milk so quickly at this time? Previously I would probably have been able to feed her and get her back to sleep by about 5:30 but she can now pull herself to standing in her cot and she doesn't know how to sit back down yet. Obviously, I'm trying to teach her how to sit back down when she stands up during the day but other than this I'm not sure what to do. She is so tantalisingly close to sleeping through for long enough for her sleep needs (another hour I guess would do for her and I think that 7-6 would suit her, only time will tell). It's quite difficult breaking her early morning waking habit though as she gets so tired during the day from not sleeping enough at night and this makes organising her naps more of a challenge. I'm off to consult my millpond sleep 'bible' for some ideas.

Juicylucytoo · 19/02/2008 13:46

Let us know what the bible says Swaliswan.

DS came down with a mild vomiting bug and slept 11-7 and 11-6.45 for two night. I thought, wow we've cracked it, then last night he was awake again at 2.30 and it took until 4am to get him back to sleep (CC for 10mins / in for 2mins). Then awake again at 5.10 for milk. Went back to sleep until 7.50, but I am totally knackered. Just waiting until I can take him back to bed for his afternoon nap!

Will persevere with the CC tonight and until it makes a difference. Soooo fed up.

OP posts:
Swaliswan · 19/02/2008 14:26

OK, the sleep book says that, in our case, she is probably still waking out of habit as her body has gotten used to having milk at that time even though she doesn't need it at that time. Essentially, the plan is to slowly reduce the amount of milk that she has until she doesn't have any. First, we need to fill out a sleep log for a week to help us analyse the problem. We had already started this but I abandoned it as too many unusual things were going on that could affect our sleep. I've taken to going to bed early so that I can cope with the early wakings. I think that learning to sit back down will help matters and hopefully she'll get less bothered about how she can stand up over time.

firststar · 20/02/2008 13:16

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