Early mornings with my 20 month old

[bluebell1]

Hi all please can anyone give me any advice on how to get my 20 month old ds2 to lie in.He wakes at 4am every morning and im just so tired that it makes me grumpy and snappy during the day which is no good to my ds's.He has a good bedtime routine(bath,milk and book then bed).He shares a room with ds1 who is a great sleeper but is now getting woken by ds2 as well as have only recently put ds2 in with ds1.Ds 2 also wakes during the night from about 12am onwards.I am at the end of my tether.

Well this morning ds2 woke at 4.30am.It maybe because he didnt have a nap yesterday.I will keep trying everything suggested but i may just have to face the fact im hardly going to sleep for another year.

I would try to move his nap bit by bit until about 12-12.30. There was a huge thread on here about this, about a year ago, and it was reckoned to be the best thing to have an effect on early wakeners.

I don't believe in cutting naps out as it just makes them overtired. I think they will stop going down when they want to stop napping, but that is only what I think!

I would aim to put him to bed about 7.45pm. Is he grumpy when he wakes early, or is he ready for action? I know this is a terrible thought at 4.30am. It does sound really early...you must be knackered

Have you tried any sleep trainig, ie not letting him get up at 4.00am, but going in and laying him back down and leaving the room. I just wondered, as you said he wakes up during the night (although it seems to be a very small night, by normal standards!).

You don't just have to do cc to make them respond and self settle

Fizzbuzz thanks for replying.I managed to give him his nap at 12.30 today and im going to put him to bed a bit later i dont expect a major difference straight away but if i stick with it hopefully things will improve.The sleep training is hard as he shares a room with ds1.

My ds was just the same (though closer to 5.30 than 4 - lie in I now realise in retrospect!). My own coping strategy was to lie on the sofa under a duvet with him and put on a video. Rubbish parenting I know, but he was quiet and it meant I could grab a bit more sleep! It is a phase and it will pass in the meantime you just have to do whatever you can to get through it. Heartfelt sympathy and I hope it sorts itself out soon.

Sorry, meant to add so much harder with the second one (ds has older sister) as you try to do everything not to disturb the other child - however hard it is coping with one early riser, two are invariably worse!

i know this isn't why you posted, but i too feel relieved that mine isn't that early! my boy gets up anywhere between 5.30 and 6.30, although we don't let him out of his cot til 6. i can't bear it if its before 5.30 but feel fine after that magic 6. most of my friends seem to think thats ridiculously early...i mean my friends with kids the same age, obviously the ones without KNOW its stupid o'clock.
but reading this reminded me that mine used to get up sometimes before 5, back in the bad old days. my dp is really strict about the 6 o'clock thing and he does the 4 to 6 shift in the morning. we just lay him back down, or pick him up and put him down again if he's in a state, and go out again. sometimes doing this at 5.30 means you just do it for 30 mins til the magic 6 means he can get up. i've always thought this was a waste of time, but maybe my dp has been right all along and this has helped my child learn to at least sometimes sleep through til 6.30?
for us, my boy is still struggling with the 2 to 1 nap transition, and i keep hoping that when he finally gets on top of it he will regularly sleep til 7 like everyone elses kid...?
and i totally sympathise with the taking ages to go to sleep. i go to bed early most nights and it can take me 2hrs to finally drop off which is so frustrating.