Baby will only sleep with dummy and will not self soothe☹️

[kalicia]

My baby is 4 months and is going through sleep regression. She has always been the best sleeper but recently she wakes up every hour and both me and her are exhausted😢

I know what the problems are, but unsure how to get out of them..

1.She will only go to sleep on her side in my arms being rocked with a dummy in and me holding her hand. She is very fussy! If I do not hold her hand she will pull her dummy out and then she will cry for her dummy back in.

2.Obviously the dummy, she will not sleep without it. Which is a problem because she constantly puts her hands on her face to pull it out which means she’s still being swaddled at night.

3.She is overtired she does NOT nap. This is not because of regression because she has never napped. When she was a newborn she only napped on somebody’s chest then when put down would wake up. Now it’s rocking her again but if she does nap it’s for 20 minutes and that’s if she decides to not fight her sleep.

The main issue for me is the dummy reliance, if it’s knocked out or if she spits it out she cries for it. She will not self soothe she has no idea how to do it, I’ve tried putting her down without the dummy, or letting it fall to see what she will do. She just cries and cries. I don’t know what to do and it’s driving me crazy😣 I don’t want to have to let her cry it out but it seems like the only option.

We experienced similar levels of night wakings at 4 months and got rid of the dummy and swaddle in one night. There was a few minutes of crying at different stages over about five nights (progressively getting better). I did shush pat but also gave him a bit of time to settle before rushing in. He learnt to self sooth by sucking 2 fingers. His naps and night time sleep improved dramatically..from waking up every hour to waking up once for a feed. So I don't agree that it needs to be like this because your baby is little. Your baby needs sleep and obviously is over tired and crying much more now than they would with a little gentle sleep training.

You’re not alone. My baby is 7 months and an awful sleeper as well.
I agree with what others have said about adjusting your expectations. Some babies may not sleep through until age 3/4 years old. It sounds awful I know! But try to accept that and then it might seem more manageable.
Your baby WILL be a good sleeper one day and they will develop a secure attachment to you if you continue to respond to their needs quickly. This attachment will be the foundation for all their relationships into adulthood, so it’s really important you do respond to them.
I know how tiring it is but nobody said being a parent would be easy! For now, try and get sleep when you can. Maybe one day a week someone can take baby out for a few hours so you can nap during the day? Or can your partner get up with baby in the morning so you can have an extra couple hours in bed?