8 week old only contact naps

[ocelotka123]

Hi, I'm looking for some help and advice as I'm at my wits end with tiredness and snot being able to do much during the day, having a baby in me all the time. My LO is now 8 weeks old. He slept beautifully in his Moses basket and crib for the first few weeks of life, however it's been going downhill since then. He has reflux so we've been told by the HV to keep him upright for a bit after feeds to prevent vomiting - I suspect that this is what caused our current issues. Baby won't nap anywhere other than while being held in an upright position. I can't put him down, no matter how long I wait - he will be wide awake and crying within 5 mins of being put down. How do I get him to go down for naps?!

At night, he normally sleeps fine in his bedside crib for a few hours at a time, waking up for feeds. But as soon as it hits 6am, he wants to be held again - even if I just finished a feed and put him back down at 5.30am. He will go back to sleep instantly when picked up and will sleep until hungry, usually an hour or two, depending on what time the last night feed was. BUT, sometimes he won't sleep in his crib overnight either, waking up within 5-10 mins of being put down, stirring and crying, until I pick him up. He will then go back to sleep in seconds on my chest. Obviously i can't sleep when he's on me, thankfully this doesn't happen very often (although he was doing it in the last 3 nights - I think must be due to him being unwell after his first jabs). We tried Co-sleeping but that doesn't work either, he still wakes up.

So really, what can I do to make him sleep in his Moses basket, cot or anywhere else really other than on me? It's been 3 days now that I had to hold him for all his naps and night time sleep, I'm absolutely exhausted. Before someone suggests taking shifts with partner, well the baby will stay asleep with my hubs as for an hour at most, but usually less than that, before waking up and screaming.. but as soon as I take him, he's quite and asleep again. Help please, I can't go on like this! 😭

@Geranium1984 we've been to the GP who prescribed some meds (after trying to say that I should just push through it, but I insisted). He still vomits after feeds but doesn't scream like he's being tortured with it, so they are doing something. I'm trying a dairy and gluten free diet to see if it's a food intolerance causing his reflux.

Mine was very much like yours! I didn’t get anything done for like 10-12 weeks. It gets easier, eventually he’ll be able to hang out on a play mat for short periods of time so you can get breakfast or feed the pets etc. but I know it’s tough right now. The baby won’t break from crying while you go to the loo, sometimes you just have to put him down somewhere safe and go do what you need to do, and as long as you don’t leave him for extended periods he will be fine! In the fourth trimester babies haven’t yet distinguished that you’re a separate person, they see you as part of them and get upset when not in your arms, it’s totally normal but really hard. They also don’t have object permanence and can’t see very far so anything that isn’t within 20cm distance or touching them might as well not exist at all.

As I said mine still only contact naps, but I’m now able to potter about around him picking up chores and narrate my life while he watches.

He's 8 weeks old. 4th trimester. It'll pass but it's ok, and good, and normal for him to be on you all the time.

Solidarity OP, I’m in the thick of it too.

I’m currently wearing DS in a sling as that or the pram are the only way he sleeps during the day. At night we co sleep and he normally needs to stay on me to drop off and then I gently roll him off.

He struggled with the pram at first but will now do a really long nap in it as long as it’s moving at all time. It’s really, really hard but I just keep telling myself they all out grow it eventually.

@Moancup how old was your LO when he started going in the pram for naps? I'm really hoping mine will do that soon as my back is killing me from all the baby wearing!

Please be assured that you have not 'caused' this because you kept him upright after a feed. It is perfectly normal infant behaviour and not your fault in the slightest! 8 weeks is probably the toughest time, in my experience, both my babies were fussiest at this age.

Things you can try: heating up the mattress with a hot water bottle or wheat bag before putting him down, putting him down on his side first before trying to gently roll him onto his back, using a purflo nest (someone will come along to say they're not recommended I'm sure, but I like mine as it keeps the baby on his back), and if all else fails follow cosleepy on Instagram for how to sleep as safely as possible with the baby on your chest.

During the day stick him in the sling and get a massage gun for your aching back! It's frustrating I know as you can't get everything done and you just want ten minutes not holding a bloody baby. Hopefully eventually he will let you put him down for naps but be warned, it took my eldest 8 months before he grew out of it!

@grumpytoddler1 omg 8 months! I could cry 😭 I've tried all those tricks with heating the bed, rolling on the side etc. He does not wake up on transfer but will wake up 5-10 mins later. We have a nest too and it makes no difference. And yes I just want a bit of time of not holding the baby! DH takes him in the mornings and evenings but baby just screams if someone other than me holds him for longer than a few mins, so I never really get a proper break where I can have a cup of tea without a baby in my arms and the house being quiet. DH used to take him out for walks but he hates that now too and just screams his lungs out. It feels like it's getting worse! I really hope it ends before it's time for him to go to uni.. 🤣😭

I will look up that instagram page, thank you.

@ocelotka123 my youngest is 4 months so I'm only a few weeks ahead of you, and I said the exact same thing at 8 weeks - I am so fed up of holding him all day, my back hurts! But it did get better, 8 weeks was definitely the peak. And even if they will only contact nap they should at least get less fussy whilst they're awake so you can put him down on a playmat for a bit. You're also only a few weeks from being able to put him in a jumperoo too - game changer!!

Re the pram, my eldest HATED it. So from about 8 weeks we used the seat on the pram instead of the bassinet and just reclined it back to the furthest setting. Youngest is starting to complain about the bassinet too so we are going to switch it over shortly.

With my eldest, it was easier to put him down in there once he was asleep as it was a bit more upright so you weren't putting him completely on his back. I also used white noise next to his head or took him to a cafe and weirdly he would sometimes let me put him down in a cafe - I think it might have been the noise making him sleep better!

Mine was early OP so it all gets a bit confusing with ages, but I’d say by 2 weeks corrected age he was sleeping in the pram. I think the issue with mine was he was getting hungry so frequently due to an extra tiny stomach. Now though we’ve realised that we need to really bundle him in clothes and blankets to sleep in the pram. It’s easy to forget how cold they get without moving themselves.

For showers I have to admit I will just accept that he’s going to cry for a bit. White noise on the phone sometimes delays it.

Appreciate this is an old post but I'm in the same position with my 8 week old and wanted to know if / when this got better.

Tia x

It did, but I’m not sure you want to know how long it took. We started getting there at nine months and after a year he was happily in the cot for naps. He’ll still sleep sprawled across me if given the chance.