4+ month sleep regression support thread

[bubblepond]

Having just read a 4 month sleep regression thread from 2010 and found it very therapeutic I wondered if anyone fancies joining me for a current thread to help each other through this less than ideal time?!

we actually have a 24 week old (born just at 37 weeks) who since 4 months after her due date exactly has had very disrupted sleep. Combi-fed with 1 bottle per day in the afternoon but otherwise all BFs, previously waking 0-1 times per night since around 12 weeks. I thought we had missed the regression but at 4 months 3 weeks it hit with a vengeance and we are now 4 weeks in!

really really want to avoid controlled crying or sleep training. not looking for advice so much as solidarity if anyone fancies joining!

That sounds better too @TheBestSpoon until last night, I’m sorry it wasn’t so good last night!

We had 3 wake ups last night, two of which sort of merged into each other and ended up being 2.5 hours long 🤦🏼‍♀️but still more bearable than the 6-7x per night we were getting before!

I’m nearly at breaking point. 17 weeks old here, seems to have been struggling for the last 3/4 weeks on and off. Naps are the classic 30/40 minutes. Overtired and screaming from 4pm. Waking hourly overnight and last night a nice new trick - awake for 3 hours in the middle of the night. Praying this is the peak

Mine slept 6 hours last night! I pray that's it and he's now out the other side 🙏

Last night wasn't great again here - not sleep until nearly 9 then up at 11:45, 1 and for over an hour at 4:30. I know in the grand scheme of things it could be worse but the broken sleep is really getting to me.

@CP7766

Argh, perils of trying to type and supervise a baby!

@CP7766 that sounds really really tough. Are you able to share the load with anyone overnight? Really hope it improves soon, much sympathy.

@GinnyBee WAHEY! Long may the improvement last. 🍾 I would be so so so happy with a six hour stretch. 😃

He was up 11 times last night. Pass the coffee!

11 times! Crikey 😱

Have any of you moved baby in their own room yet? I've seen some articles saying that after this 4 month PROgression sleeping in the same room is disrupting everyone's sleep more, and babies would sleep better in their own room. I'm so tempted to try it, but our master bedroom is upstairs and the nursery downstairs and traipsing up and down in the middle of the night doesn't appeal 😬

But these last two nights when he's slept a little longer (again 5 hours last night!) I've woken up before him, first with uncomfortably full boobs and then just because I think my body is now used to it 🙃 and noticed that he started fidgeting when I was shuffling around and wondered if he'd stayed asleep had I not been there to wake him up. We sleep in the nursery already so I wouldn't have to move him to a new room, just move myself out, which could be an easier transition for him?

@TheBestSpoon id had three wake ups in the first hour - I knew it was going to be bad! Think I probably ended up on similar numbers to you. Hell isn’t it. It will pass. It will pass 🙈

@GinnyBee it was just after five months that I did it with my first - we were both in the spare room as the cot wouldn't fit in our bedroom, so I moved, not him. I think it did help - he was already sleeping 6hr stints regularly (in retrospect, such happy happy days) and I do think I was waking him, particularly in the morning when his sleep was lighter. Planning to do the same in a few weeks with this one - figure it can't make his sleep worse?! We're on holiday next week (which will be fun with a preschooler and a non sleeping baby!) so will give it a go after that. The two bedrooms are next door to each other though, so bit of a different situation.

@CP7766 Solidarity and a very large mug of virtual coffee coming your way. It's horrendous, isn't it? I just feel really weepy all the time, but can't go around sobbing all day, not least because it would freak out DS1. ARGH. We will survive this!

@CP7766 and @TheBestSpoon your recent nights sound so tough! I hope last night was better for you.

last night we slept in 1-1.5 hour stretches all night 🥱 we’re off on holiday this weekend and I have no idea whether this will be a good or bad thing sleep wise.. time will tell!

@TheBestSpoon I missed the part about your holiday too - I hope you have a lovely time and you get some more sleep on holiday!

@bubblepond Thanks! It was better - three wake ups before midnight had me fearing the worst, but he then went until 5:45 with just a brief moan at 1:30. Didn't then go back to sleep, so it was an early morning, but I feel much more human for a few straight hours of sleep

Hope your holiday is good too! This is our first time abroad since 2019, so quite a step out of the comfort zone...

We've had a couple of shockers then followed by a relatively good night! Weds night he was up 5 times, longest sleep being 3 hours and shortest 45 minutes and I thought I would lose my mind. Then last night he surprised me with 6 hours and was up only twice! Granted his bedtime is still 10pm, and try as I might I can't get him to go down earlier, so after 6 hours there isn't much of the night left and the two snooze periods after that lasted 1.5 hours each.

He was also soooooo grumpy yesterday that if he hadn't slept at night I might have chucked him out the window.

We’ve moved from every hour consistently here to some 2/3 hour stints again. She also seems to be going back to sleep a lot more easily. Those of you through it…. Is this how it started getting better?!

Almost cried looking back at my app from June - 6/7 hour stints!!

Glad everyone's seeing some improvement. @CP7766 , hope it keeps improving. I wouldn't say we're through it yet at all, so not sure I can reassure you, but I have my fingers crossed you'll be back to 6 hour stints soon!

@GinnyBee so glad you had a decent rest yesterday - sounds like it was much needed. Long may it continue!

After the horror of Tuesday night, he did five hour stints for three nights on the trot - still with several wakes before and after, but so much better. Then yesterday he napped more than usual and wouldn't take his last nap so was hideously overtired at bedtime (we can't move it much earlier because of DS1). Cue six wake ups overnight, and the longest stretch being 3 hours again... Naps so far seem to be back on track today so fingers crossed it's a one-off. Although I'm sure he will be dropping that last nap soon so maybe we're starting a transition. There's always something!

Thank you for starting this thread, sounds like you guys are going through the same things as us! My darling 14 week old hit the regression ridiculously early at 11 weeks, after sleeping beautifully through the night from 6ish weeks with just one feed. She started off waking every 1-2hours but not wanting food, just wanting a cuddle back to sleep. A week ago she hit a growth spurt (I assume) and now she still wakes every 1-2hours but now she wants feeding (EBF) every 2 hours as wel! Spoke to the HV who just said "sounds like her days and nights are reversed, it should resolve by 6 months". That's 2 months away! God knows how we get through til then 😫She also only really contact naps in the day, and will sleep in her crib for the first half of the night, then she'll only sleep on me from about 4am onwards. So no chance for me to catch up on sleep in the day. Arrrrgh😴

Does anyone have any tips for me or had a similar experience? Sorry for the massive rant but I am struggling here!

DS2 has never been a good sleeper and screamed A LOT during his fourth trimester. But since about 16 weeks he has become a lot happier in the day and then his sleep started to become really terrible. Of course we thought it was the 4 month regression and I have been obsessively working on getting him to fall asleep independently in his cot, which he does for 2 out of 3 naps a day and was doing for his bedtime, some times even without his dummy. But he is now 6 months and his sleep is worse than ever. He is taking an age to get to sleep and is waking up between 20 minutes and 2 hours maximum every night. His naps are nearly always between 30 and 45 mins. When he wakes in the night, he screams immediately and nothing will sooth him but breastfeeding. Replacing dummy or rocking work once in a blue moon but usually it's breast feeding. Talking to him/holding him/rocking him results in him screaming even louder, where I am nearly always convinced I need to take him to hospital or something but he eventually falls asleep feeding and is always as happy as Larry in the morning. I am absolutely happy to be feeding during this night and did this for over a year with my daughter, but sometimes that doesn't even work and I am so reluctant to do it every 20 minutes, it's killing me!

I will add that he was struggling to gain weight but has settled down now with weaning well underway. But since he's feeding so much in the night, I really struggle to get him to have much milk during the day.

So yeah basically, I feel like I am dying with sleep exhaustion with a 4 year old to look after too, but not sure if any sleep training methods will work with nothing being able to sooth him other than with the boob OR if it's even a good idea. Something has got to change, any/all suggestions welcome, please!

@ThoughtIKnewBetter has cad tried settling him instead of you?

@Movingsoon21 Yes he has, its just the same, lots of painful screaming 😫

Have you thought about controlled crying and stopping the feeding at night , perhaps just offering a dream feed? You'd have to be strong, but it normally has results within 3 days. And it sounds like he's crying alot anyway. At the same time work on increasing calorie intake in the day as much as possible.

So I moved out of the nursery because I managed to catch a cold from somewhere, and it has not made a blind bit of difference to how he sleeps! Either I’m a very quiet sleeper or he’s just not bothered. I’m still sleeping in the masted bed now regardless because if he wasn’t bothered about my shuffling next to him before, I would be astonished if he wasn’t bothered about my coughing and sneezing next to him.

It is a new level of tired though, dealing with a sleep regression and being ill 🤧 for a while last night as my fever spiked I was worried this was going to be the actual flu, but I’m back to normal cold symptoms today.

0/10 never again

@naomisuissa Thank you for the advice!
2 nights ago we ended up doing the Ferber method sort of by accident as he was crying before I even put him in his cot and nothing we did made any difference, so left him to and went to check at intervals. Took half an hour and he slept for 6 hours! The second night he went straight to sleep without any crying but he did wake more in the night and wouldn't go back to sleep after 5am when we usually manage to start the day at 6:30 (when DD wakes up). Allowing the crying and checking in intervals in the night is ROUGH but so far we've only had one bad stint of it during the night. It's still a massive improvement from what we have been getting for the past few weeks/months. I'm not ready to drop the feeds yet though so perhaps that is making it worse or confusing for him? He has a doctors appointment anyway tomorrow so we can discuss the need for the feeds. And we will see what tonight brings.

I don't know about anyone else, but as horrible as it is to hear the screams and not respond, it's also somehow empowering to have a plan, like we are taking back control a little! Perhaps that's the wrong way to put it, but I definitely feel more positive, even though we have a long way to go.

Glad things improved! How have the last 2 nights been and what did the Dr say? I think continuing the feeds will mean there contunue to be wake ups but hopefully fewer..and try not to feed to sleep. I still feed once in the night and generally my baby has only been waking once (whereas it used to be multiple times).

Helpppp!!!!!
first time mum here. Baby is 15 weeks. He got his 12 week injections 1 week ago and ever since he has been SO irritable. I can’t even set him down he screams! He cries hysterically before bed for 1-2 hours then he sleeps for an hour or two before waking and crying hysterically again for another 2-3 hours. He is barley sleeping and his reflux has also gotten worse so he’s not taking as much of his bottles. It’s getting to the point where I am so angry I keep shouting and having to leave him down in his cot and go out the back for air and a deep breath. I am struggling so much he is so difficult I am so so exhausted and I’m struggling to sleep with the anxiety. I really hate being a parent. I know it sounds bad but I am really finding it so hard. Does anyone have any tips for me to soothe my baby? As he cries until he almost bes sick. I’ve tried everything.