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Original poster

Narrow cot

67 replies

Supernovamum · 22/08/2022 09:59

Hey everyone I'm very new here so please be kind. I'm pulling my hair out me and my partner have a nearly 8 month old little girl and she's still in a cot that she was meant to be out of at 6 months old and it's obviously effecting her sleep. The problem is I need to find a narrow cot for her to be transferred too but the problem is the space I have is very limited I'm talking less than 100 in length and less than 50 in width I've looked absolutely everywhere and I honestly can't find one that she can be in for a couple of years I've seen the obaby bantam one and it's too big can anyone help me with anything I'm even looking into single beds and there still isn't anything out there narrow enough.
Help a mummy out before I go bold from stress

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Original poster
Supernovamum · 22/08/2022 15:02

I am a very responsible parent but I cannot help the rules set by my partners household. I came here for help and all I've got is critism on rules I cannot change so thank you for the few people who have helped and understand the situation as for others what a way to make me feel crap 👍🏾

OP posts:
Beees · 22/08/2022 15:06

Supernovamum · 22/08/2022 15:02

I am a very responsible parent but I cannot help the rules set by my partners household. I came here for help and all I've got is critism on rules I cannot change so thank you for the few people who have helped and understand the situation as for others what a way to make me feel crap 👍🏾

It's not intended to make you feel crap but you really need to realise that you don't actually have to stick to this arrangement.

Its not in your daughters best interests and you should not be forced into something that put her safety at risk of harm just to please others.

You say you cannot change the current situation but truly you can and it sounds like everyone who matters will be much happier for it.

Twizbe · 22/08/2022 15:06

Supernovamum · 22/08/2022 15:02

I am a very responsible parent but I cannot help the rules set by my partners household. I came here for help and all I've got is critism on rules I cannot change so thank you for the few people who have helped and understand the situation as for others what a way to make me feel crap 👍🏾

That's fine, but I agree if the rules don't work for your family it's time to change the agreement.

Where are you the rest of the week and why can't your partner put the baby to sleep there?

forrestgreen · 22/08/2022 15:08

He could stack his bedside tables for the night (no where near the baby obv!)

ArrabellaAM · 22/08/2022 15:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Original poster
Supernovamum · 22/08/2022 15:14

I am at my mums house for the other nights. My partner and I don't drive anymore as its too expensive so I only see him on days I'm allowed to go round.

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Original poster
Supernovamum · 22/08/2022 15:22

There is no curfew or tag involved its just his parents house and there rules they have set days where they allow us to come round so we can all see each other which involves 1 night a week ( used to be 2 but since lockdown has only been 1 and stayed at 1) I live with my mum where there is no way for my partner to get here as there is no transport other than my mum he works 5 days a week do its not possible for him to even come here. We have already tried to alter the agreement but unfortunately it cannot be changed I can't sleep downstairs with baby due to grandad sleeping there and the room we are in is used as a storage room so there isn't alot of room to work with the way the room is in now is the maximum space we will get the bedside table on 1 side is already against the wall so it cannot be moved out of the way or any further
I want to put too my main priority is my child and I am trying everything to make sure she's in a proper cot but space is not out friend

OP posts:
Twizbe · 22/08/2022 15:31

Do you not drive anymore just because of the expense? As in you both have full licences?

Could you afford a zip car subscription? That way he could drive to you but not have the full expense of a car? Or another car share scheme?

Is getting your own place totally out of the question at the moment?

Original poster
Supernovamum · 22/08/2022 15:37

I was learning how to drive but lessons got too expensive. I dunno what zip car is nor have I heard of anything about schemes before. Yeah completely out of the question everything in the area is over 1k a month and requires an annual income of 20k or more to be considered

OP posts:
Rowen32 · 22/08/2022 16:04

Supernovamum · 22/08/2022 15:02

I am a very responsible parent but I cannot help the rules set by my partners household. I came here for help and all I've got is critism on rules I cannot change so thank you for the few people who have helped and understand the situation as for others what a way to make me feel crap 👍🏾

OP, all anyone is saying is you can't have your baby sleeping in a space that isn't safe or healthy. Your daughter's needs and well being have to come first, before any rules or agreements.. What's the plan for six months time or a year??

Also, are you sure what she's in now is still safe for her? If she was meant to be out of it by 6 months it probably has a weight capacity that she might have exceeded by now..

Honestly, this is the first step in you being her advocate, she has to come first.

Twizbe · 22/08/2022 16:12

Zip car is a car sharing service. You pay a monthly amount and book the car on an app. Petrol and insurance are all covered as part of the hourly fee. They might not be in your area.

It sounds like the agreement you have isn't going to work now and as baby gets older it will work even less.

So it's time for a rethink totally.

How many lessons for you to pass your test? Does your partner have a license? Is there a car he can borrow? Can he get lifts to and from yours?

Can you work together on a plan for moving out for your own place?

Margo34 · 22/08/2022 16:34

Have you asked your partner's family about moving furniture around to make more space? If they want to stick to the agreement you've made between you, there surely should be some flex on both sides to accommodate it?

Original poster
Supernovamum · 22/08/2022 16:38

Twizbe · 22/08/2022 16:12

Zip car is a car sharing service. You pay a monthly amount and book the car on an app. Petrol and insurance are all covered as part of the hourly fee. They might not be in your area.

It sounds like the agreement you have isn't going to work now and as baby gets older it will work even less.

So it's time for a rethink totally.

How many lessons for you to pass your test? Does your partner have a license? Is there a car he can borrow? Can he get lifts to and from yours?

Can you work together on a plan for moving out for your own place?

I dunno what we will be able to say to alter the agreement to be honest i can't force his brother out of hospital room and can't force his dad put of the living room. I'm not sure how many o was before finishing as I had a car accident resulting in ptsd. He only had a provisional the same as me. And right now buying and keeping a car on the road is too much to afford. We are currently saving for a deposit for a house but that's years down the line and we don't have years in either of our houses.

OP posts:
Original poster
Supernovamum · 22/08/2022 16:39

The room was arranged to have maximum space when we first got together and if it was moved around again it would cause less space then we have now making it harder to get a cot in at all

OP posts:
SheWoreYellow · 22/08/2022 16:43

If you get rid of a bedside table and have one side of the bed against the wall, that will probably give you enough room? I appreciate it’s not your house, but could you do this for just one night a week?

Beees · 22/08/2022 16:44

We are currently saving for a deposit for a house but that's years down the line and we don't have years in either of our houses.

Do you have an obtainable goal to being together and raising your child? It doesn't sound like it's working ta all for any of you right now and it obviously going to get more complicated the older your child becomes. What is the plan for voting or living arrangements when she starts nursery or school?

Twizbe · 22/08/2022 16:47

You can't force people out of rooms, but you can sit down and say that the agreement no longer works and will work even less as she gets bigger.

I'm not sure what the answer is, but there will be an answer.

Perhaps it's less often but longer that he comes to stay at yours. Perhaps using some of his annual leave to sort the getting to work issue.

HickoryStump · 22/08/2022 16:55

Honestly seems like the only solution is to ditch a bedside table for one night a week, I genuinely don't know how there could be any objections to such a minor adjustment for the comfort of their grandchild.
Do agree with pp's in that this isn't sustainable. Saving for a house deposit is amazing and absolutely applaud it but how many years off do you see it being? Even a toddler isn't going to fit in that small of a space for very long. Sounds very tough on you and baby!

prisscalledwanda · 22/08/2022 17:16

OP, even if posters were able to find you a cot that perfectly fits into the tiny space available, that wouldn't fit your daughter for much longer.

So what is your plan for when your daughter is simply too big for the space you have available for the three of you? It sounds like it's happened already, but even if it's in a few months time it can't be far off. Sooner or later you are going to need to have this conversation about changing the arrangement. You seem to be ignoring the main issue.

Cockerwalk · 22/08/2022 17:48

@Awholenewlife123 seems to have found one that suits your space requirements.

AnotherEmma · 22/08/2022 17:55

Have you talked to the council about your housing options?

You should get on the list for social housing. And they might be able to advise/help you to find affordable private rented housing.

In the longer run, you and your partner obviously need somewhere to live together with your child.

Original poster
Supernovamum · 23/08/2022 12:56

Rowen32 · 22/08/2022 16:04

OP, all anyone is saying is you can't have your baby sleeping in a space that isn't safe or healthy. Your daughter's needs and well being have to come first, before any rules or agreements.. What's the plan for six months time or a year??

Also, are you sure what she's in now is still safe for her? If she was meant to be out of it by 6 months it probably has a weight capacity that she might have exceeded by now..

Honestly, this is the first step in you being her advocate, she has to come first.

Show quote history

Our daughter always come first we just didn't have the time to prepare for her like most people so having to scramble around to find things for her arrival which we had only 4 weeks to prepare for. So please don't ever thing she doesn't come first its just if we could of had more time we would of had our own place and everything for her but we didn't so please we are doing our best

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Original poster
Supernovamum · 23/08/2022 12:57

SheWoreYellow · 22/08/2022 16:43

If you get rid of a bedside table and have one side of the bed against the wall, that will probably give you enough room? I appreciate it’s not your house, but could you do this for just one night a week?

We have discussed the bedside tables with the parents and they don't want them moved put of the room and there is no room for them in the room other than the place they are in

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Original poster
Supernovamum · 23/08/2022 12:58

Beees · 22/08/2022 16:44

We are currently saving for a deposit for a house but that's years down the line and we don't have years in either of our houses.

Do you have an obtainable goal to being together and raising your child? It doesn't sound like it's working ta all for any of you right now and it obviously going to get more complicated the older your child becomes. What is the plan for voting or living arrangements when she starts nursery or school?

We have every intention on saying together and raising our child together I don't know what that has to do with a cot?..
Well we hope to have our own place by that point thanks 👍🏾

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